Weekend Preview 16/02/2019 – BDOTY

With the Best Day of the Year almost upon us, senior members of the club are aware that it can be a bewildering time for freshpeople. Well have no fear! In this preview we will explain some of the technical terms you have probably heard in recent days but may not understand.

BDOTY (n., /bɛst deɪ ɒv ðə jɪə/)

2s3s4s: the best day of the year.

Nomad: Have you enjoyed BDOTY 2014?

Becky Wilson: This is not just the best day of the year, but the best day of my life.


Five from five (n., /fʌɪv frɒm fʌɪv/)

When CUHC wins every game at 2s3s4s. Traditionally followed by a rendition  of Take That’s “Greatest Day” in the Wilberforce Road car park and obnoxious night-long flag waving.

CUHC member: Diesel, what do you think of our five from five today?

Diesel: ‘Today this could be…’

Crewdate (n., v., /kruːdeɪt/)

Silly Oxford word for swap.

Silly Oxford person: Excuse me but do you know where the crewdate is happening tonight?

Sensible Cambridge person: I have no idea what you mean but I’ll be going to Cindies for a massive swap.

Can (n., /kən/)

(1) Metal beverage container.

Person 1: Shall we get a keg for 2s3s4s this year?

Person 2: Nah, I’m just going to stick to cans.

(2) A device used to consume large quantities of beer really fast. Usually made from a length of tubing and a watering can.

Crowd: Can! Can! Can! Can!


From the can, from the can, from the can.

Vuv (n., /vuːv/)

Short for vuvuzela. Device used for making antisocial noises during BDOTY. Can also be substituted for a can (see can[2] above).

Everyone: From the vuv, from the vuv, from the vuv!

Hatty: Go away I already did a can!

Shandy (n., /ˈʃandi/)

Made by mixing a tiny amount of beer with a large amount of lemonade, a shandy is the favoured beverage of members of Oxford University. Avoid if you like fun.

Oxford player: Would you like to share this shandy with me?

Cambridge player: No thanks, I like fun. Also stop booze dodging.

Jackson o’clock (n., /’dʒaksʌn əˈklɒk/)

Point in the day when it all gets a bit much. Can be surprisingly early for some.

TJ (at 2:30pm): I think it’s home time for me chaps.

Everyone: Must be Jackson o’clock.

Pymo: Right chaps, Jackson o’clock.

Everyone: OK Pymo see you later.

Randolph Hotel Staff: Excuse me sir do you have a room here?

Pymo: Yes..

Randolph Hotel Staff: Very good sir.

Campkin: Uhhh, uhhh, Jackson o’clock?, um.

Everyone: But Campo the coach doesn’t leave for another three hours.

Campkin: Uhh, um, yeah?, uhhhh, going to have a, uh, nap at my friend from school’s house, uhh, see you at the, um, coach.

From left to right: James Campins at Jackson o’clock, Mr Tickle; Wacky Wavy Inflatable Man (yellow).

Kieran (n., /’kiːn/)

When someone is trying to coach a team at 2s3s4s but instead just brags about their own varsity prowess.

Kieran: Whenever I play in Varsity I play with lots of confidence and I always have the best game of my season and am normally man on the mach.

Wandies: He just did a Kieran didn’t he.

Beer staff (n., /bɪə stɑːf/)

Using cans, one drinks a beer and once it’s finished one adds a fresh brew on top of the empty can and just keeps going until one has the biggest “staff” in town.

Pete: Look at my staff lads! That’s 30 units today!

Everyone: Shut up Pete, we all saw you taking cans out the bin.

SeX5 (n. /’sɛksfʌɪv/)

Mode of transport used on Monday morning to return home from an away 2s3s4s after one has, for any reason, missed the coach.

Anonymous Maverick: But won’t you miss the coach?

Dutch Squanderer: Don’t worry, I can catch the SeX5.

Men’s Blues goalkeeper: Shall we take the SeX5 or wait for the coach?

Nomads captain: Nah, let’s get a taxi. The club will pay.

At least you didn’t splash £160 on a taxi the club wouldn’t pay for Niels.

Have a good day everyone.

Wanderers Varsity Squad Announcement

The Wanderers squad that will face OUHC’s Occasionals at 3:30pm on February 17th, led out by captain Harry Leng, has been selected. Congratulations and good luck to all those selected.

Nomads Varsity Squad Announcement

Nomads captain Rachel Stoner has selected her squad to face OUHC’s Radicals at 2:00pm on February 17th, Wilberforce Road. Congratulations and good luck to all those selected.

Squanderers Varsity Squad Announcement

Squanderers captain Owain Houghton has selected his squad to face OUHC’s Infrequents on February 17th at 12:30pm, Wilberforce Road. Congratulations and good luck to all those selected.

Bedouin Varsity Squad Announcement

The Bedouin squad to take on the OUHC Mavericks at Wilberforce Road on February 17th has been selected. Captain El Robson will lead them out at 11:00am.


Blunderers Varsity Squad Announcement

The Blunderers squad to take on OUHC’s Sporadics at 9:30am on February 17th has been selected. The Blundies are the only team in the club (in Cambridge?) with a 100% Varsity record. In fact, they have never lost a game of any sort. Let’s hope they can continue their remarkable record at Wiberforce Road next weekend.

  1. Ed Sides (gk)
  2. Aaran Amin
  3. Tom Edmintson
  4. Chris Bealey
  5. Elliot Bealey
  6. Bob Cliffe
  7. Dan Lindars
  8. Jonny Walker
  9. Harry Cox
  10. Henry Pulver
  11. Ciaran Flaherty
  12. George Margetson-Rushmore (c)
  13. Dan Eatough
  14. Lewis Phillips
  15. Alex Cargill
  16. Johnny Lewis-Brown

Weekend Preview 09/02/2019

With just over a week to go until the Best Day of the Year the squads have been selected and excitement is building. The first (and most important?) battle is already underway on social media, and thanks painstaking compilation and analysis by Owain Houghton I can bring you the results of 2019’s Profile Picture Reacts Contest (PPRC2019). All numbers in the following are corrects as of this afternoon.

Team by team

At first glance the Nomads are on top yet again, with a mean reacts per player breaking the double century. But of course the raw numbers only tell half the story. Once numbers of friends are taken into account, the Squanderers take home the prize, drawing reacts from nearly a quarter of their respective friendships (an improvement on last year’s totals by over 1.5 times). Perhaps in the end the Nomads have suffered from the cynical practice of requesting the online friendship of as many CUHC members as possible in the lead up to PPRC2019. At the other end of the table, the Wanderers have had a bad year. They are way behind the other teams on raw reacts, have received just 3/4s the number of reacts per friend as the triumphant Squandies, and are barely up on their 2018 result. Oh dear oh dear.

An interesting by-product of this analysis is that the Squandies have, by some distance, the fewest friends.

Team Mean reacts* Mean no. friends Mean % of friends who reacted 2018 mean reacts % yearly change
Squanderers 175 ± 50 743 24.7 % 111 + 58 %
Bedouin 194 ± 87 936 23.7 % 144 + 35 %
Nomads 199 ± 47 1087 21.47 % 177 + 13 %
Wanderers 152 ± 91 905 17.7 % 148 + 3 %

* arithmetic mean ± 1σ.

The react-by-react breakdown for the PPRC2019 Champions, the Squanderers, is shown in the box-and-whisker diagram below.

Box-and-whisker diagram for Squanderers reacts.


Congratulations to the Bedouin’s Anna Calder whose total of 346 reacts was the highest across the four teams. But of course the purists among us are only interested in reacts normalised by number of friends. In this category the Nomads’ Lizzie Jack was victorious, with her 135 reacts reflecting a huge 48.7% of her total friend base. Lizzie was pipped to the “Most loved” prize by the Beds’ Lydia Michaelides, who was loved by 18.4% of her friends (Lydia came second in the overall contest). The take home message appears to be that, in the PPRC, one is rewarded for placing tight constraints on one’s social media contacts. Indeed, it has not gone unnoticed that certain contestants have been “friend culling” during the course of PPRC2019 (we stress that none of the contestants near the top of PPRC2019 have been caught engaging in such an enterprise). In other news the Squanderers’ Guy Holden has the angriest friends. PPRC2019’s big losers were both Wanderers: Alex Harper, with 80 reacts, was the only contestant not to break the hundy and David Gibson, with 8.8%, had the lowest proportion of reacting friends.

Individual breakdowns for the Squanderers are shown graphically below (note that Guy Holden’s friends are not only very angry about his selection but also sad).

Squandies individual reacts breakdown.

The Big Picture

The PPRC nerds are only just beginning to digest the vast quantity of data available. Some convincing relationships have already been identified but in the interest of avoiding cum hoc ergo propter hoc reasoning we will not be commenting on causal mechanisms at the stage.

Reacts vs. CUHC year (Squanderers). The young have it.

Shirt size vs. reacts (Squanderers). Proof that chest day is the key?

Angry reacts vs. distance of school from Wilby (Squanderers).

Thanks again to Owain Houghton for putting all this together.


Don’t forget there is still league hockey to be played! Lots of important matches on tomorrow after a complete freeze out last week. At home, the Bedouin are on first vs. CoP (10:30), after which the Men’s Blues face Harleston Magpies in a top four six pointer at the same time as the Women’s Blues take on Wisbech Town (13:30). On the road, the Nomads can gain ground on a Sudbury side just three points above them, there’s also a six pointer for the Wanderers at the Olympic Park vs. Crostyx, and the Squanderers will look to put a few past mid-table St Ives.

Team Position Form Guide Opposition Time H/A
Women's Blues 2 WWWDW Wisbech Town 1 13:30 H
Men's Blues 4 LWWDL Harleston Magpies 1 13:30 H
Nomads 11 WLLLL Sudbury 1 12:00 A
Wanderers 7 WDLWL Crostyx 1 14:30 A
Bedouin 4 WWLWW City of Peterborough 3 10:30 H
Squanderers 5 WLWWW St Ives 2 15:30 A

Wilberforce Road Pitch Development

As you probably already know, the new developments at Wilberforce Road opened last year with two additional pitches for the use of CUHC and Cambridge City. If you want to know more about the transformation, check out this video from Cambridge University Sport featuring some in-depth analysis from Blues Captains Hattie Bevan and Sean Gilmore.

Weekend Preview 02/02/2019

CUHC teams as Six Nations countries this week. Good luck everyone.

Bedouin – Ireland

Short reason: they’re class.

The Beds form in recent weeks can only draw comparisons with last year’s Grand Slam Champions. They will look to follow up a 7-1 pumping of Huntington last week with a win on the road at Horncastle tomorrow.

Squanderers – France

Short reason: mercurial.

Much like the French, you never quite know what your going to get from the elusive Squanderers. Capable of both scintillating attacking play on the pitch and clotheless team capitulations on nights out, they will be hoping to build on a comprehensive win at Wisbech Town last week in the build up to varsity. They’re on at 10:30 at Wilby against nearby CoP. IFLTS. Allez les Bleus.

Women’s Blues – England

Short reason: quite good and have a huge game tomorrow.

The Women’s Blues have been winning lots this year but, because everyone expected them to, that in itself is not enough. Indeed, parallels can be drawn with the Roses, who always do ok but rarely as well as billed. While England travel to Dublin tomorrow in what could be a Championship defining game, the Women’s Blues make the slightly less glamorous trip to Dereham to face the league leaders. A huge six pointer for the girls.

Men’s Blues – Scotland

Short reason: cold.

After spending the last few seasons in relegation scraps the Men’s Blues have been on resurgent form this year, not unlike the humble and ever likable Scots. More importantly, though, their game against Letchworth tomorrow has been rescheduled due to the frosty conditions. Instead, they’ll be huddling together for warmth in Hawks watching TV over porridge, haggis and whiskey.

Nomads – Italy

Short reason: having a tough season.

Just as the Italians have struggled since the Five Nations became Six in 2000, the Nomads have endured a difficult season after earning promotion to Division 1N last year. Also like the Azzurri, though, they have put in some excellent performances and are always in with a chance of pulling out a result. Tomorrow’s game against nearby Lowestoft is a chance for them to climb back up the, exceptionally tight, Division 1N table.

Wanderers – Wales

Struggling with this one to be honest. The first two letters are the same? They both like daffodils?  Anyway you can see the Wandies in the prime slot at Wilby tomorrow. Get down at 13:30 to blare out Bread of Heaven.

Team Position Form Guide Opposition Time H/A
Women's Blues 2 WWWDW Dereham 1 12:00 A
Men's Blues 4 LWWDL - - -
Nomads 11 WLLLL Lowestoft Ladies 1 12:00 H
Wanderers 7 WDLWL Harleston Magpies 2 13:30 H
Bedouin 4 WWLWW Horncastle 11:30 A
Squanderers 5 WLWWW City of Peterborough 4 10:30 H

Weekend Preview 26/01/2019

Address tae CUHC

Fair fa’ your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o the Varsity-race!
Aboon them a’ ye tak your place,
Blues, Beds or Blundies:
Weel are ye worthy o’ a grace
As lang’s my arm.

The groaning dancefluir there ye fill,
Your aerials like a distant hill,
Your bins wad help to mend a mill
In time o need,
While thro your pores nae goals distil
Like amber bead.

Your sticks see rustic Labour dight,
An cut Oxf*rd up wi ready slight,
Trenching their gushing entrails bright,
Like onie ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm-reekin, rich!

Then, toma for toma, they stretch an strive:
Deil tak the hindmost, on they drive,
Till a’ their weel-swall’d kytes belyve
Are bent like drums;
The auld Guidman Flibby, maist like to rive,
‘Bethankit’ hums.

Is there that owre his Oxf*rd shandy,
Or pinky that wad staw a sow,
Or shredder wad mak her spew
Wi perfect scunner,
Looks down wi sneering, scornfu’ view
On sic a club?

Poor devils! see their owre their trash,
As feckless as a wither’d rash,
Their spindle shanks a guid whip-lash,
Their nieves a nit;
Thro hockey pitch or field to dash,
O how unfit!

But mark the Rustic, toma-fed,
The trembling earth resounds their tread,
Clap in their walie nieves a stick,
They’ll make it whissle;
An flicks an slaps, an hits will fly,
Like taps o thrissle.

Ye Pow’rs, wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o fare,
Auld Cambdrige wants nae skinking ware
That jaups in luggies:
But, if ye wish her gratefu’ prayer,
Gie her CUHC.

Team Position Form Guide Opposition Time H/A
Women's Blues 2 WWWWD Norwich Dragons 1 12:00 H
Men's Blues 4 WLWWD West Herts 1 13:30 H
Nomads 8 LWLLL Bedford 2 13:00 A
Wanderers 6 WWDLW Upminster 1 13:00 A
Bedouin 4 WWWLW Huntington 1 10:30 H
Squanderers 5 LWLWW Wisbech Town 2 11:00 A