This week, the CUHC media team interviews the mo growers of our glorious club, to see how their Movembers are progressing. However, their names have been withheld, and there is the offer of a 1p rebate to the first person who can identify all the members pictured below.
To take part in the competition, comment the names of players pictured below on the Facebook post.
Anonymous Blue 1
Pencil Mos are a good look, though I don’t normally see them taken literally. Unfortunately I’m one of those people who just can’t grow a single hair on my upper lip, but I still want to show my support for CUHCs chosen charities: Cancer Research UK and The Tom Wilson Memorial Fund. CRUK does such great work tacking cancer, and after the shock of Tom Wilson’s death a year ago it’s great to see the hockey community coming together to support Old Loughts in their fundraising efforts.
I’m keen to see this mo first hand, where will I be able to find it? Well I’ll be at Wilby on Saturday from 13:30, as we’re playing Wisbech Town 1s, so you’ll be able to see it in action then. Should also see plenty of goals, Wisbech are struggling in the league at the moment with just 2 wins so far, and the team is playing some really nice hockey at the moment.
CUHC don’t do lip warming stash, but if they did they’d look a bit like this.
Anonymous Blue 2
That’s really bushy. Don’t you find your upper lip getting too hot sometimes? Occasionally yes. But I’m saving a lot of money by not having to heat my room as much as I would have to otherwise. They say we should be saving energy by putting on a sweater, but it in reality if you want to save energy you’ve got to grow a mo.
What about the sweat when you play hockey? The Mo helps a lot. Same as the hair on the top of your head, it stops the sweat from dripping and becoming a distraction. It’s a complete game changer, if you were to travel to Dereham to watch me play their 1st team at 13:30 on Saturday, you’d be able to tell that 2 weeks of mo growth has made me not only a better person, but also a better hockey player.
With progress so far, this could be looking like Dali’s by the end of the month.
Anonymous Bedouin 1
I can’t help but notice you are from the half of the club that normally struggles to grow a Mo. True, but CUHC has always been the most progressive of the university sports, and why shouldn’t I wear a stylish pencil moustache?
The Beds have had a rough start to the season, how is team moral? It’s very good actually, we know that the winning streak is just around the corner and it’s never easy for a completely new team to play the fluid hockey we’d like to in the first couple of mo-nths. Tomorrows game against Wisbech Town 2s could be the win we need to turn the season around. Playing at home at 10:30 has helped in the past, with the coaches able to give us great advice from the pitch side (“Play hockey” – A. Mayes 2016).
Moustaches: Cool and practical
Anonymous Squanderer 1
Good morning <name redacted>, your Mo is certainly looking impressive, when did you shave? It was Monday morning, around 7am before heading off to work for the day . Since then it’s been growing strong. I cheated slightly by growing out the beard as well for the first week, but it’s now pure Mo.
How are you feeling about your game on Saturday, away against I-ES 2s? Well, the early morning drive for the 11am push back is not ideal, but the Squanderers are going from strength to strength at the moment. The season is almost biblical, complete with bi-weekly exodus to far off places like Ipswich, plenty of disasters and the occasional miracle. The Squanderers themselves hopefully will show a similarity to Samson, who’s strength was proportional to the length of his facial hair.
More like Mo-mads
Anonymous Nomad 1
Most people have gone for a traditional mo style, what was the inspiration behind yours? With it’s positioning on the face, a mo can really change how people see your facial features and so styling is incredibly important. The inverted wings of my mo serve a lot of good purposes, for example they transform my RBF completely for example from a sad puppy face to a good sassy/angry face.
So a mo can change your looks, but can it affect your hockey? That’s a difficult question. Having only just grown this as my first mo I haven’t really tried it in a game properly yet. Initial evidence shows that pre-mo Nomads won zero games, but turned it around after just 1 week of growth. Extrapolating from that I’d expect our game tomorrow away at midday against Lindum 1s should result in the Nomads winning by 2 goals.
Anonymous Wanderer 1
There seems to be very little on your upper lip, what’s going on? Well, I’ve been trying really really hard, but it’s just not working for me. I’ve read up online about mo growth techniques, and tried everything from meditation to medication. I’ve stopped doing my daily abs regime, and started instead doing a set of upper lip muscle exercises in the hope that might push out some hairs, but alas it seems I am destined to remain bare.
But how are you going to spread awareness of some of the issues Movember tackles? This is a problem. Movember does so much good work bringing attention to important cancer and mental health problems that society needs to know about. Did you know that suicide is the primary killer of under 35 year old men?
Doesn’t matter if it’s mo-nday morning – still looks perfect.
Anonymous Nomad 2
Your mo looks so perfect, how do you style it? The trick here is really pay attention to it every day. Pluck the stray hairs first to keep it looking tidy, the make sure to shampoo it daily. I also own a set of mo hair brushes just to really keep it looking sharp.
Do you have anything to say to the people out there who aren’t taking the time and effort to grow a mo? Absolutely. It might seem like quite a lot of effort, in many cases to gain little else other than a wispy upper lip, but if you put the hours in you could end up with something really trendy.
Live for the mo-ment.
Anonymous Wanderer 2
I’ve just spoken to one of your team mates, who is completely hair free on his upper lip. You don’t seem to be struggling with the same issue, what’s the trick? Some people are born more fortunate than others in the mo growing department. I’m always thankful that when the weather turns cold and my upper lip needs some insulation, I’ve got the ability to grow a mo.
What are your plans for the weekend? Well there’s a big game on Saturday against Blueharts 1s. They’ve had a similar start to the season to the Wanderers and so it’s going to be close. That games midday at Wilby, so I’ve got the morning to tend to the mo, maybe style it into something that will intimidate the opposition goalkeeper.
Mo growth? Nah.
Anonymous Squanderer 2
So when did you shave? I haven’t shaved since February 2016. I thought the head start could aid my Movember efforts but instead people just ask why I’m not taking part when the rest of the team all is.
Do people not pity your inability to grow? Nope, I get no sympathy at all. The rest of the team are too preoccupied comparing their own mos and talking about the latest trends in high tech mo care to spend any time talking to me.
For a keeper, the mo mo-llifies the effect of an attackers mo.
A Wanderers player just told me his Mo can be used to intimidate goalkeepers, is that true? Unfortunately yes, which is why I’ve had to grow mine as well to counter it. It’s especially apparent in high pressure situations such as penalty flicks, where instead of concentrating on the players eyes and trying to guess where they are aiming, I find myself admiring their most prominent facial feature: the mo.
But surely it won’t be as visible below the helmet? True, and if I was allowed to I’d not wear the helmet and rely purely on the protection I get from my mo. I find that the curled edges give it that extra visibility that it needs though.
It does look a little suspect.
As a youngster, is it not harder for you to develop facial hair? Of course. Mos are the ultimate sign of sophistication and experience, so it would be silly if kids could grow them. I’ve had to work hard for this, but hopefully it will pay off and people will finally recognise me as a responsible adult. I’ve been labelled as a “Silly Fresher” which is really mean.
Some would say that your mo is fake… Well of course they would. They can’t accept that I’m a grown man now. Just you wait and see, my light blue mo will make them realise. I’ll show them who the silly people really are.
Even the mo looks like a coiled snake.
So why do you HHL so much that you felt the need to go play for our rivals? I thought we were here to talk about my stunning facial hair? I wasn’t expecting a grilling based on my poor life decisions. I’m sorry, okay, I thought that maybe less time spent training would give me more time to enjoy the last few years of uni I have left, but I it turns out that all the enjoyment of my university career was with CUHC and now I’ve lost that.
And you’ve got the nerve to stay as part of the social group and come to Christmas dinner? You can’t keep me away from Christmas dinner, it’s the best event of Michaelmas and I’ll be there even if I have to break into Wilby.
||Position in table
||Opposition position in table
||Wisbech Town 1s
||Wisbech Town 2s