Fletch didn’t change his profile picture this year. Shame!
It’s almost here (#imquiteexcited), it’s the day you’ve all been waiting for and there’s no doubt it’s going to be amazing. That’s right, it’s the day that the analysis of the profile picture likes is released.
Everyone will have seen by now the hype generated by the biggest coordinated media campaign in the University*. It’s been effective as well, with CUHC members accruing a considerable amount of the virtual social rep counters we call “Likes”, 9181 reacts in total. This is a little bit less than last year, but without the careful management of a webmaster (#OuEstJean), it was always going to be an uphill struggle.
What makes a profile picture good? According to Social Scientist Baz, it’s a complex combination of having a good looking game face, having a witty caption and a good filter. We couldn’t be bothered to qualitatively assess each picture though, so instead we just rate them based on results. The first, and most obvious, metric is absolute number of reactions. This years winner was Harry Leng, but not without some controversy. In much the same way Trump’s victory in the US election had Russians involved, Harry’s victory in the profile reactions table was helped in part by 15 angry reacts (presumably from people he has never met and knows nothing about, but happen to be from Oxf*rd and on his friends list). Much like after the firing of Comey, the CUHC webmaster is absent (#AnyoneSeenJean) so there is not enough evidence to indict Harry. I’m not saying that Harry is narcissistic or an egomaniac, but there are some disturbing parallels.
Congrats to all those who made the top 10, which was again dominated by the Nomads, but with some strong competition from the Wanderers.
- Harry Leng (251)
- Tristan Hipper (238)
- Georgie Jones (232)
- Seb Cheli (226)
- Ollie Rose (220)
- Sophie Wilson (210)
- Jess Czink (208)
- Harriet Potter (202)
- Annie O’Neill (200)
- Laura Sweeting, Beth Barker (199)
Owain Last Year, hasn’t he grown quickly
There were others in the club that made a good effort despite being severely disadvantaged. So we also rated everyone according to what percentage of their friends reacted to their profile picture. If Owain were to have as many friends as Seb Cheli, he’d have got 638 likes instead of his (still respectable) 108.
- Owain Houghton (34.95%)
- Rachel Stoner (28.99%)
- Vivi Way (27.60%)
- Lydia Michaelides (26.95%)
- Louis Totton (26.84%)
To get yourself on this list, consider a friend list cull. For instance Ethan Gardner has culled 229 friends over the last year.
Nomads won the team competition, despite many attempts to change the data so some other team could win (see Jervis’ attempt last week for instance). Nothing worked, so they get first place. Hopefully next year one of the other teams could put a little effort in and compete for the title.
No, I’m not going to call people out here for not getting many likes, that would just be harsh on Damian.
A Wandering Snake
Instead I’m going to try and work out who the snake is in the club (and I don’t mean the Wanderers). Someone has gone through and unliked the entire Nomads team’s profile pictures. This is the worst act of social sabotage recorded in CUHC history.
The CUHC Media Team reacted immediately, launching an independent investigation headed up by Chief Inspector Baz. Matt Jervis, after his criticism of the Nomads in last weeks preview, was initially arrested on suspicion of the crime, but had several alibis (his name is on the like list for a number of the Nomads) so had to be released.
The investigation then compiled a list of everyone who has like a Nomads profile picture, and compared this to the list of members of CUHC. The results were shocking. 12 Squanderers, 5 Wanderers and 3 Beds haven’t liked a single Nomad profile picture. Why all the hate? I reached out to captain Beth Barker for comment, and she reckons she’s got the answer.
I was particularly disappointed to see Harry Leng’s name on the list, since 8 of the Nomads liked his profile to help him win, but he didn’t return the favour. (editors note: CUHC does not take any responsibility for damage done to Harry by the Nomads as a result of this information)
Whilst useful to know, this didn’t help track down the mysterious snake. If anyone has any information that could lead to the identification of the snake then please contact @General_Baz.
This year, we are pleased to announce a 100% uptake from the Nomads and Beds. Unfortunately both the Wanderers and Squanderers had someone let the side down.
Deme possibly thought leaving his picture the same would be acceptable if he was in CUHC kit. He was wrong. It’s a pity really as the hair really suits him.
You’re Worth It
Fletch likewise thought being in kit could get him off the hook. Wrong. So I took a look back through his profile pictures over the years, and the last 7 are in all in CUHC kit (if you include the one where he’s got the CUHC tie on). That’s still no reason not to make it 8 Peter. Two things are infinite: stash possibilities, and profile pictures containing stash.
* as measured by number of profile picture changes.
Apparently there are some league games this weekend.
- MBlues play Ipswich 1s at Wilby. They won’t have to worry about conserving energy for the following day, but they probably will be thinking about the largest boozing sesh of their year so might be a bit distracted. Still, I’m sure they’ll win as Ipswich are 12 points behind them at the moment.
- Nomads? More like No-game amirite.
- WBlues don’t have a game. This gives them the unique opportunity to have a 24 hour long pre before #BDotY, something no team has attempted before.
- The Wandies also don’t have a game, but won’t be having a 24 hour pmb I hope.
- No game for the Beds or Squandies – they opted to play the rearranged fixtures from early January next Sunday instead, in order to have the day to mentally prepare themselves for the tasks ahead.