Women’s Blues’ Archive

2018/19
2018/19 Results
Date Match type Opposition Venue Score
22/09/2018 League Sudbury 1 H (P1) 11:30 W 5-0
29/09/2018 League Cambridge University Nomads A (P1) 10:30 W 1-5
03/10/2018 BUCS League Cardiff University 1 H 14:00 L 1-4
06/10/2018 League Cambridge City 3 H (P1) 15:00 W 2-1
10/10/2018 BUCS League Oxford University Blues A 14:50 L 3-1
13/10/2018 League Norwich Dragons 1 A 12:15 W 1-2
17/10/2018 BUCS League University of Bristol 1 H 13:00 W 2-0
20/10/2018 League Dereham 1 H (P3) 13:30 L 1-2
24/10/2018 BUCS League University of Exeter 1 H 14:00 L 0-4
27/10/2018 League Wisbech Town 1 A 13:45 D 3-3
31/10/2018 BUCS League University of Bath 1 A TBC W 0-1
03/11/2018 League St Neots 1 H (P1) 10:30 W 5-0
07/11/2018 BUCS League Cardiff University 1 A TBC L 5-1
10/11/2018 League Ipswich – East Suffolk 1 H (P3) 12:00 W 3-0
14/11/2018 BUCS League Oxford University Blues H 18:00 L 1-2
21/11/2018 BUCS League University of Bristol A 15:00 D 0-0
17/11/2018 League Ipswich 2 A 12:30 W 1-2
28/11/2018 BUCS League University of Exeter 1 A 15:00 L 2-0
24/11/2018 League Bedford 2 H (P1) 12:00 W 2-0
01/12/2018 League Lowestoft Ladies 1 A 12:00 W 0-4
08/12/2018 League Sudbury 1 A 14:00 W 0-1
12/01/2019 League Cambridge University Nomads H 12:00 (P1) W 2-0
19/01/2019 League Cambridge City 3 A 12:00 (P1) D 0-0
26/01/2019 League Norwich Dragons 1 H 12:00 W 7-0
02/02/2019 League Dereham 1 A 12:00 P-P
06/02/2019 BUCS League University of Bath 1 H 15:00 L 0-1
09/02/2019 League Wisbech Town 1 H 13:30 -
16/02/2019 League St Neots A 13:00 -
23/02/2019 League Dereham 1 A TBC -
02/03/2019 League Ipswich – East Suffolk 1 A TBC -
09/03/2019 League Ipswich 2 H TBC -
16/03/2019 League Bedford 2 A 13:00 -
23/03/2019 League Lowestoft Ladies 1 H TBC -

 

2018/19 Match Reports
22/09/18 Women's Blues 5-0 Sudbury 1s | MoM Izzy M

Dear Shears,

It was a grey and drizzly day at the Wilberfortress when the Women’s Blues stepped onto the mighty Pitch 1 to take on Sudbury 1s.

After a decent warm up, Hattie took the first win of the day: the toss. Despite her nerves, we had won first push back. At 11.30am on the dot, Annalise pushed the ball back to Colette. Play began.

After some swish passing with plenty of patience round the back, we began our attacking onslaught. Early doors, our goal hungry forwards made their mark. With a beautiful slide pass from me from the sideline (outside the 25 ofc), soph took a touch far post and hit the post. The ball dribbled along the line, their goalkeeper seemingly doing little more than watch it as Annalise zipped over to snake it with a cheeky tap in. 1-0.

Sudbury tried to gain to possession on the pitch, stealing a couple of balls, but struggling to get too close to Freddie, who was stood shouting.

Again it was the Women’s Blues who looked in charge. Charging towards the D, Soph received the ball along the baseline on the left hand side of the goal. From a SHANGLE, she played a lovely push pass towards the goal. Miraculously it went in. 2-0.

Gaining momentum, the Women’s Blues again headed towards poor Sudbury’s D. With little pressure on her, Amy received the ball at the top of the D, slapping it straight into the goal, ending the half 3-0.

After a rousing team talk from Hat, and no match sweeties, we took to the pitch for another dominant half. After struggling to outlet the ball from the back, Fred took on a bit of pressure, with a few stolen balls leaving her 1-1 with their lazy goal hanging forward with Bethan charging back to support. Happily, Freddie saved them all, and all short corners were safely taken care of.

The second half saw little attacking pressure for much of it, until 20 or so minutes in, we switched on. In quick succession we got 2 short corners. Fresher Izzy (Monty) made her mark, scoring 2 goals from the shuffle-right-Lucia-hits-to-right-post-for-a-deflection short corner. Eaaaasy 5-0 to start the season.

Hope you’ve had a great time sightseeing in Singapore.

Lots of love

Hatty xxxx

MoM – Izzy M

DoD – Hatty D

 

29/09/18 Women's Blues 5-1 Nomads | MoM Amy Edwards

Dear Shears,

It was a much sunnier day at Wilby yesterday when the WBlues played the Nomads than the last time I wrote you a match report. Although nervous (“we have everything to lose and the Nomads have everything to gain – I could hardly sleep last night!” Captain Chunderpants) Battie Heaven outdid herself once again on the toss, winning it. At 10.30am sharp a Wblues forward pushed the ball back to a Wblues middle player and the match began. The Nomads were quick off the blocks, applying pressure to the Wblues and winning several early 50/50 balls back (in part, thanks to some 80/20 umpiring).

After a period of playing kind of badly and allowing the Nomads a period of dominance, the Wblues began to come into stride and maintain some possession. Some minutes into the game, the Wblues won a short corner thanks to one of the forwards doing something.

Although aiming to do a slick shuffle-right-Lucia-hits-to-right-post-for-a-deflection short corner, some great defending from the Nomads meant Izzy didn’t get her 100000th goal of the season.

After some more hockey, the Wblues won another short corner. Seeing the space around the p spot, we tried out a different short corner that we have practiced doing. However, an inaccurate injection meant we did a slightly un-choreographed new short corner, that somehow led to a scrappy goal from Annalise knocking it in on right post from a slap from left slip. 1-0.

Gaining a bit of momentum, the Wblues continued to play more hockey, while the Nomads played some hockey as well. Eventually, Annalise had the ball in the D and did a nice spin thing to give herself space to hit the ball far corner, which Freddie thought was “really, really nice”. 2-0 at half time.

After half-time talks, the Wblues were a bit more prepared for the Nomads to come out with some fire, holding onto possession a bit more successfully than the start of the first half. Ignoring Darrel’s half time warning that we mustn’t let the Nomads get a goal and come back into the game, the Wblues did just that. An unfortunate foot in the D gave away a short corner to the Nomads, which Jess Czink binned near corner. 2-1.

Further hockey was played and then the Wblues had another short corner. Several people were shocked the Nomads don’t wear face masks for short corners, however Molly (she doesn’t even go here anymore) wasn’t, given Battie’s “shdrag flick”.

To Molly’s great surprise, however, Hattie drag flicked the ball and the ball went into the goal! 3-1. But when Beverley tried to do it again, she did an anti-drag flick, that slowly trickled along the floor of the D. Silly Battie. Happily, Sophie was there and cleaned up the rebound on the far post to make it 4-1.

As the match drew to a close, the sixth and final goal came from Annalise driving the baseline to prop it to Bat who binned it on the right hand side. 5-1.

Though the scoreline doesn’t necessarily show it, the Nomads played vvv well. Positive early doors signs for a 1, 2 finish in league 1N for the doublay promotion woo 🙂

Hope you had a v fun time at your cousin’s wedding! Hope you get to play some hocket sooooooooon (so I don’t have to write you another match report).

Lots of love,

Hatty x

Mom – Amy
Dod – Me (2 from 2 woo)

 

06/10/18 Women's Blues 2-1 Cam City 3s | MoM Izzy/Monty

The w blues arrived at a particularly wet and windswept Wilby for the local derby vs Cam City 3s and quickly made their way inside, only to arrive to find the scheduled changing room full of males. Each one made their way out slowly whilst making the effort to repeatedly explain to battie that ” the match started twenty minutes late…” a fair enough excuse but unfortunately they hadn’t left changing room much dryer than outside with a steamy atmosphere full of fresh Lynx.

The w blues headed out for the usual warm up, with some added active running to bring some smiles out of the cold, before heading over to watch the last and best ten mins of the men’s blues who managed to bring out some goals for the new audience.

Onto the pitch and the teams got off to a pretty even start, a few great balls up the line from Luce meant the forwards could break into the d but no outcome yet. Alicia continued to skill the midfield and Hatty sacrificed her leg for the team with a spicy cross pitch ball up to the forwards who were hassling their back line. Not too long into the first half fresher Mollie took a stick to the head and was taxied off to Addies (review below) for an afternoon of fun.

Coming up to half time city managed to sneak a few passes round Fred to go 1-0 up, but not for long. The w blues ramped up the pressure and with the help of a newly arrived Darrel took control of the match. Fresh Izzy/monty was gliding round players and the forwards managed to pick out the city feet to claim some short corners, easily put away with the trusted across the goal for deflection and a massive drag flick put top corner by Annalise giving the blues a 2-1 lead. A lone wolf high forward took a lucky ball in the late second half to give everyone a scare but a wayward shot didn’t even venture near Fred and the lead was kept safe. Another win to add to the bag for the blues, hopefully a good sign for the next Derby where they will have to face the away match.

MoM: Izzy/Monty

DoD: Mollie

Addies:

First mention has to go to david who was making his second trip to Addenbrooke with a fresh, more times than he has had to go for himself he says, to sacrifice watching the match and some good hours to sit in the lovely waiting room with some very healthy people. We were pointed towards the reception where I was asked if we were a couple, making a nice relaxed few mins when my details were collected before we had a not too long wait to be seen. Lucky for me a nice looking doc quicklyish glued me back together, after debate of a stitch to which I said no, and we headed back to wilby in a stylish 7 man taxi feeling very hungry and damp. 4 stars, would come back.

 

13/10/18 Women's Blues 2 - 1 Norwich Dragons 1s | MoM Colette

Once a upon a time the Women’s Blues rode to the Dragons’ den. It was the perfect day for combat – the sun was glistening and wind whistling. The Women’s Blues with our swords in hand were ready to #slayyy the Dragons. Mollie took the first stab at the Dragons’ defence launching a fireball from inside the moat. The Dragons responded with a blow to our fort BUT the battle was not over. The Women’s Blues fought hard laying seige around the goal until Bella tapped a flying ball from Colette. The Dragons were slayed and Women’s Blues victorious.

MoM Colette

DoD Bella

 

20/10/18 Women's Blues 1 - 2 Dereham 1s | MoM Lucy

Wednesday 17th October

I woke up on Wednesday morning excited for another BUCS match with the Women’s Blues. Even though I wasn’t playing I decided to put my CUHC training top and blue fleece on, because I wanted to remind everyone that, even though I can’t play at the moment, I still love CUHC and who doesn’t love a good chance to wear stash. With my black leggings and blue trainers to complete the look, I felt a lot like a pre-match Cucia Lorry and so I knew it was going to be a good day.

I opened my curtains hoping that the sun with would be shining through the concrete of Churchill, but I was met with a grey, drizzle. A brief flashback to a couple of Saturdays ago when I nearly contracted hypothermia on the touchline dampened my spirits, but then I remembered we had the chance to get our first BUCS points of the season and a positive mental attitude was going to be important. So, I pulled my CUHC raincoat on and set off to the library.

It was getting close to push back time and I thought I probably better get going or I Wilby late, so I hopped on my bike, pedalled through town, before arriving at Wilby. I couldn’t quite decide where to park my bike, because there is so much choice now, but I opted for the ones closest to the pitch as I reckon they are normally the emptiest. As I parked my bike I saw the Wblues already on the pitch, so I thought I better hurry, but it was okay because Rob was also only just arriving. And everyone knows BUCs Wednesdays can’t happen without Rob and Bev. As I walked across the pitch, Carrel Dassidy was already strutting up and down the touchline, but he seemed in a relatively good mood and this proved to be true as he smiled as I arrived.

The game soon started, although 15 minutes behind schedule, as Bristol had been late; Bev blew the whistle and then hockey started being played. I saw that there was fresher on the bench so thought I better introduce myself, but she just laughed awkwardly me, so I thought I should retreat back to my corner of the dugout and focus on keeping an eye on the clock. We quickly decided that although Bristol were alright we should probably be beating them, and about halfway through the first half, Azzy Istin decided she wanted to score a goal and so did just that. Bristol then had a bit more of a look in, but we defended pretty-well and stopped them getting anything much.

Half time and we were one-nil up. I thought I should probably move from my spot in the dugout the let someone who had been running have a seat. Carol Dassidy chatted for a bit and we all decided we could probably mark a bit tighter, but we could definitely win the game. Pella Badt had forgotten her DoD sweets which was a shame, but thankfully Methan Boncur had some spare ones in her bag.

Mini-Elaine was having a great game at centre-back, despite her desperate pleas not to play centre-back. So more last ditch defending kept Bristol out some more and we eventually had another clear- cut chance when Azzy and Pella were through on the keeper. Azzy decided she had done enough scoring for the day and so instead decided to win a p-flick. That decision made Caz Daz angry, and me annoyed, because flick taking is my job. But Battie stepped up and ctrl-alt deleted it into the bottom right. Not much happened after that, Bristol had a couple of chances, but they were no match for our defending. Two-nil and our first BUCS points of the season, a pretty solid result. We decided that Bharlotte Currows should be MoM because she had a great game, and that Siv O’Hears should be DoD, something about a long-term partner at Jesus. Currows wanted O’Hears to delete a pint, and it was finally suggested that there should be MoM-DoD pint race, but this is yet to happen. I think Fat Libby’s drinking days are behind her, but I will keep you updated.

Thursday 18th October

Thursday was uneventful. I saw on the WhatsApp group that someone lost their JMAN water bottle at training, but classic Battie Heaven. I chuckled briefly as I read her desperate reply because despite being WBlue Captain, she does still have fresh moments.

Friday 19th October

I woke up on Friday morning to see that the WhatsApp group had already been going, something about an Ospreys event. I thought it looked alright and I love a dinner with the gals, so I quickly signed up. But I didn’t want to seem to keen so didn’t tell anyone on the WhatsApp group.

Battie was chatting something about short corners on the group and I briefly thought that it would be good banter to go and join in, but then I remembered I had an essay to write. Even though CUHC > degree, I thought on this occasion I should write the essay as I would get to see the girls tomorrow. And anyway, I needed to finish my essay before my big date in the evening.

I was excited for my date as I hadn’t seen him for a couple of weeks and I was looking forward for an update on how everything was going. So, I cycled along the river, past the big Tesco and along the Newmarket Road, and made sure I arrived in plenty of time. He was just finishing his last bit of work, so I had to sit and wait on the sofa, but I didn’t mind because he had put a CUHC promo video on the TV screen just for me. When he finished, he came out to get me and held the door open for me like a true gentleman always does. Lich Ruddington really is a lovely guy. We had a nice little chat and then he decided we were having too much banter, so he thought he should have a look at my shoulder. After doing a couple of exercises he said it was looking better than before, but there was still a long way to go. That made me happy, because having a broken shoulder isn’t fun and I want to be able to play hockey, but I also knew I would be able to have another date. You win some, you lose some… Lich gave me a bit of a massage and we chatted about CUHC and he told me all about how he was going to America and about how the university have order 2500m of light blue k-tape. I said I would like some of that, but then Lich told me that it was going to have red lions on it, so I told him I thought it was a stupid idea. And we both laughed at that because we know that the golden lion is much better than the red lion, even if Nike don’t.

So, I finished my Friday very happy, because I had had a wonderful date and I knew that Saturday was another hockey day.

Saturday 20th October

I woke on Saturday morning and knowing it was going to be a good day, I decided to put my favourite red t-shirt on. I went to brunch with some college pals and told them all about how if we won today, we would go top of the league. One of my friends asked if I thought we could do it and I assured him that we were more that capable of getting a result.

So, I set out for Wilby full of coffee and hash browns and certain that it was going to be a good afternoon. But my optimism didn’t last long.

I arrived in the clubhouse and checked the board to see which changing room we were in and saw that it said number 10. Now I have been part of CUHC for over two years and I have never heard of changing room 10, which made me very confused. But I caught sight of Siv O’Hears and decided to follow her. I eventually found changing room 10 and was greeted by Breddie Friscoe. Despite Breddie’s name, it is a well-known fact that she prefers biscuits over toast, but now was not the time to be thinking about biscuits, as there was a real issue with DoD sweets. Pella had once again forgotten to bring them, so I was tasked with going to get some, which was annoying. Eddy Amwards agreed to join me on the journey which made it a bit better, but she then proceeded to talk about the slow puncture in both her bike tyres and I began to wish I had just gone by myself. I made it to the co-op and clutching Pella’s pound coins I had to make the difficult decision of what sweets would be best, but I eventually decided on Belly Jabies and some MarStix.

Eddy and I made it back in time to Wilby for the end of Caz’s teamtalk. Eddy snuck past of the Cam City girls leaving the changing room, but I decided to be polite and wait for them to come past. But I stood there for a solid five minutes before they all came through, so I decided it was a bad decision, but not quite as bad a decision as wearing a coat on the cycle to the Co-Op because I was very warm and had had to talk both my coat and jumper off to reveal my favourite t-shirt. However, it did mean that Carol complimented me on my t-shirt when I finally made it into the changing room, and that made be happy. But then Wannalise told me I looked like a Cam City player, and that made me sad. So, despite being too warm, I thought I should put my jumper back on.

We headed out onto the pitch and the girls did their normal warm-up, passing some balls around and doing some shooting. Methan was still wearing her still tourist jumper from Ryder and Amie’s which we had given her chat about the week before. I was going to call her out for looking like a fresh, but then I remembered that she had bought it because a certain kit sec decided to cancel the sweatshirt order last season. So, I decided to shut up and instead go and sit quietly on the bench.

I don’t want to talk about the match too much, because it was a bit of a shambles, apart from a very nice O’Hears to Pella goal (which wasn’t quite as good as Pella’s goal from the weekend before, but still pretty nice). They had already scored a couple of goals, so it was 2-1 at half time and despite a stern team-talk from Carol, we were unable to score any more goals. It must be said that we did try, and we did win several corners which weren’t awarded. And Battie would have almost certainly binned a couple of flicks so in my mind it should have been at least 4-2. But the league table disagrees. Eddy Amwards didn’t have a fun time on the sideline and was positively grumpy. I told her that she shouldn’t have got injured, but that didn’t help and I subsequent realised that was a bit Rich coming from me. So, I shut up again.

After an awkward post-match debrief where the only words Carol could must were ‘I am lost for words’ we headed inside for some of Elaine’s cake. Everyone seemed to rush off, but all the oldies stuck behind, because we know what it means to love CUHC. We decided it would be fun to mix up everyone’s names and we were all very tickled by this. Datty Harling was particularly tickled by the realisation of Wivi Vay and we all decided that it was poor form from Lucy Lawrence having a silly name. But she had played well so we thought we should forgive her, and we even decided to give her MoM. There weren’t many DoD nominations, we thought about giving it to Bella, but then we realised we wouldn’t have any sweets on Wednesday for our big game against Exeter so thought we probably shouldn’t. I nominated myself because I had been on a secret date and because I backed myself to write a decent match report.

Hopefully, the certainty of DoD sweets on Wednesday can spur us on to a HUUGEE victory against Exeter.

 

MoM Lucy

DoD Clare

 

27/10/18 Women's Blues 3 - 3 Wisbech Ladies 1s | MoM Battie

The bomens wues set off on a miserable Saturday morning to the beaches of Wis. With our international coach fresh off the plane from Espana, we felt confident that we could avenge our recent performances.

We arrived at the retro clubhouse to meet birthday Battie who had rollerbladed to the club!!! After some chit chat and a rallying team talk we ventured into the downpour and incorporated some of Bella’s cindies dance moves into our warm up.

The pitch was minimalist with no dugouts but that didn’t stop us starting strongly with a beautiful (sadly disallowed) reverse banger into the top right by the birthday girl herself. But no worries because the subsequent corner was put away by Monty in front of goal.

The beach-goers were very confused by our half court press and continued to send the ball off the pitch, resulting in some attacking chances for the wues. They scored next (1-1) then Battie decided to avenge her disallowed banger with another reverse to make it 2-1 then it stayed like that for a while.

We had a team talk under a tree then headed back out.

The second half was slightly less bright than the first and we conceded two goals from short corners. Then we tried hard and Izzy tucked the ball into the corner of the goal to bring it level at 3-3. We pushed but couldn’t get the winner, so it ended in a draw.

After rotating through the 4 showers we got the industry standard match tea: paked botato and beans. This disappointed some who had seen glimpses of lasagne, but we were cheered up by seeing Carrol in her alter-ego as dinner lady.

The highlight of teas came in the choice of 4 dessert options: doughnuts and cookies from the beach of Wis; choco brownies from Shears and choco cake from Heaven above!! Mollie decided this would be better smeared on her face than in her mouth.

Amid discussions on the best doughnut filling, Datty piped up that cake makes you bowl better, thus revealing the *Top Secret* plans for Bev’s Boozy Birthday Bowling. But somehow I still ended up as dod, for increasing club unity by attending the lovely Squandies-Beds swap (a very nice evening, #noragrets).

We look forward to increasing team unity on Wednesday as we travel to Bath in a cosy 16-seater.

MOM: the bday gal herself, Battie Heaven

DOD: Lissy

 

3/11/18 Women's Blues 5 - 0 St Neots 1s | MoM Amy Edwards

Beautiful day at Wilby with a beautiful game of hockey resulting in a 5-0 win. 2 goals were deleted by fresher Mollie, 1 by not-so-fresher Shears, 1 by future forward Amy and another by silky Auzzy Istin. The day had many firsts – a new press by the WBlues, a dramatic pause called by Carol Dassidy towards the end of the game, an exciting addition of “pizza twists” to the Wilby menu and, most importantly, the arrival of new kit actually on the day of expected delivery. A full fashion show pre match provided inconclusive results as to whether tucking in the new nike tops to the saucy skirts was the way to go. Current theories lean towards height being a key parameter, however we are still awaiting important evidence to be gathered at the full club kit swap.

MoM: Amy Edwards

DoD: Bethan Moncur

 

17/11/18 Women's Blues 2 - 1 Ipswich 2s | MoM Lucy

‘Twas the eve of the annual pub golf, so the wblues thought they’d get some practice in beforehand vs a very sandy Ipswich (watch out for those bunker shots)

1st Hole: Bogey (Par 4)

Standing on the first tee, the wblues quickly realized that they must be ‘on their game’ today. The fairway was pretty unevenly mown at the sidelines, and the bunker seemed to have spread over the entire course, hindering speed of play. Ipswich tee’d off first so it took us a while to regain possession and progress down the fairway. 5 shots on a par 4. Not a bad start given the circumstances.

2nd Hole: Birdie (Par 5)

Short, straight par 5 begs you to send it as far as you can from the tee. A back pass by Monty to Bethan, a quick transfer to Hatty, who sent a screamer down the fairway to Annalise. 1 quick pass inside and we made it onto the green. Success.

3rd Hole: Double Bogey (Par 2 – Short Corner)

An injection from Bethan along the uneven and sandy green to Alicia, who stopped the ball for my attempted a drag chip into the hole. An unseen Ipswich flag pole managed to obstruct the course of the ball, and we were offset back off the green. Woops.

4th hole: HOLE IN ONE (Par 3)

The first par 3 – a good test of our mid-iron game. Bunkers at the face of the green require a drive from behind. Some good 7-iron shots by Lucy left Lucia charging down the right hand side of the fairway. Being careful to avoid the bunkers, entering the green round the back gave Lucia an easy putt back 90° to Amy, who perfectly placed the final putt into the hole. GOAL!!!! 1-0

5th Hole: Par (Par 1)

The water hole. A time to rehydrate and reflect on the first 4 holes. Nothing too tricky here.

6th Hole: Double bogey (Par 4)

Rated the hardest hole on the course. Best approach to this green is from the middle or the right hand side. A quick tee shot by Ipswich however saw our defenders overrun, and soon we were on the back foot. Ipswich managed to chip around the bunkers that we had placed around the green, and an accurate putt saw the scores even to 1-1.

7th Hole: Birdie (Par 3)

The landing area of the tee is tight and requires a very accurate tee shot or lay up the wide part of the fairway. A tee shot from Bethan gave Amy the opportunity for a flop shot over Ipswich to the far right of the fairway. Bella with the next shot, a perfectly placed chip onto the green over the bunker left an easy putt.

8th Hole: Birdie (Par 5)

Go for the eagle is the Pro’s advice here. Hit your tee shot at the tree in the middle of the fairway, and if you get past then you have 1 shot and you are on the green. An excellent fairway drive by Hatty left Monty with the 7-iron the other side of the tree, and one shot to Molly meant we were on the green. Only thing between the ball and the hole was a short corner.

9th Hole: Eagle (Par 3 – short corner)

Final hole of the round, and although a short hole, the Ipswich bunkers are relatively set in position. Playing the short 1-2 game is strongly advised. A tee injection from Izzy to Alicia, a small chip to Lucia put us on the green, and a putt back from Lucia to me gave a simple putt to the hole. Ipswich obstructed the balls course so a mulligan was called. Second time lucky and the short chipping game, being well practiced, was perfectly executed and somehow I managed to putt accurately and the ball found itself in the hole. 2-1!!!

The final 9 will be played back in Cambridge, and we hope to build on our success over the first 9.

Mom – Lucy

Dod  – Battie

 

01/12/2018 Women's Blues 4 - 0 Lowestoft Ladies 1s | MoM Annalise

Saturday for the Women’s Blues began with a start so early that Advent calendars were unable to be opened and porridge struggled to be digested. This is because we had to drive to Lowestoft – which happens to be the most easterly point on mainland Britain. In an odd coincidence, this is a fact I was actually recently informed of by Peter Akyol. Despite being pretty suspicious about some of his other trivia, I can confirm that Lowestoft is far away.

It turns out that the early start was, as forewarned by the Weekend Preview, too early for some. Fresher Lucy became the second of the team’s first-years to succumb to sleeping through her alarm (surprisingly this has not included Rollie Ming, despite her ability to sleep literally anywhere). The lack of freshers almost went unnoticed, as everyone was actually more distracted by the second early casualty of the morning – Hatty Darling’s Zipcar.

Happily for all, the Trinity Hall Porters were on hand to save the day by knocking on Sleepy Lawrence’s door until she arose from her post-Selwyn Snowball slumber and we managed to squeeze everyone into our remaining functioning cars. This unfortunate start meant that my little Toyota Yaris was quite full, and I was a bit worried about how it would manage going all the way to Lowestoft because its acceleration is poor at the best of times. It actually coped much better than anticipated, and Datty Harlington even commented that though not her usual aggressive speed, she was pleasantly surprised by the pace at which we moved.

Even so, the car journey was very long, and I unfortunately had not packed my best mixtape of ‘Careoke’ (good, I know) songs – feat. much Jimmy B and Shanya Twain – meaning that we had to experiment with various radio stations along the way. ‘The Beach’ and ‘Future’ provided some highlights, including a classic 2008 time tunnel and some suspect ‘bangers’ which Bethan Boncur particularly enjoyed.

Radio Norwich helped us out with a few carols, to which the dubious tone of the singalong was reminiscent of the pre-Christmas Dinner Carol service. I don’t think David Gibson really enjoyed sitting next to me at the carols because I really am quite bad at singing – something which was exaggerated by the fact I was completely thrown by his insistence on singing the descant every time.

The conversation then turned to Christmas Dinner itself, which provided some fruitful car chat. Mainly this involved my passengers laughing at me for offering “highly fun” but “potentially fresher style” behaviour. However, there were also some solid contributions from Birthday girl Emy Adwards and Left-back Hatty who required and rejected various methods of being taken home.

The general consensus was that Cindoirs exceeded all expectations. I have been to quite a few Christmas Dinner’s, but none have ever not been in Wilby. This was a bit sad because I have some excellent memories of Wilby Christmas Dinners past but did have the benefit of reducing my considerable admin load (Bella actually asked me the other day whether CUHC paid me for my admin time lol). Defender Darling seemed to have less success at recollecting previous dinners which I’m pretty sure is correlated with her poor success at being able to find her possessions and clothes after the event.

Anyway, we had never seen it held in Condors and were pleasantly surprised by both the ambience and the dining experience. They even provided a microphone for the speeches; I reckon Owain’s song is likely to go down with other seminal dinner happenings, including Woodford’s mini, Peregrine Dunn’s speech, and Tom Jackson Jackson’s first CUHC Christmas dinner. In fact, apart from Matthew Jervo and Ollie Duckerworth moving some name badges at the start, the event seemed to be all running quite in hand until Cindies decided to lock the whole of CUHC in John’s Bar.

By the time we reached Lowestoft, we had come to the conclusion that it was this point of the evening that really did it for lots of us, because when confined to this space, all CUHC really did was buy lots of drinks (this (un)fortunately also coincided with the point of the evening when I made the considered decision to stop ‘being sensible’). Come the world class session of Liquid Drum and Bass on the dfloor, much deleting had happened and I’m told lots of killing it was happening.

The match itself was quite slow, but we did some quite good things and some bad things – although the worst thing was probably Right-back Hattie’s unheavenly parking! We spent large proportions of the of the match in Lowestoft’s 25, but unfortunately all of their players were also there, making it quite tricky to score. Batrice Hevra decided to take two draggies from outside of the D which set us back a little bit, but soon enough, Monty put us ahead from her self-named short-corner.

The second half saw a pretty slick Wannalise deflection, which soared past everyone into the back of the net and received huge plaudits from Lowestoft’s sideline coach. After putting herself in strong contention ‘most overdramatic reaction to being hit on the foot’, Bella Badt slotted in our third. Annabeast banged in her second following some neat team play, cheered enthusiastically from the sidelines by Jim’s mum and Grandad.

Everyone else rushed home to go skiing, but by virtue of being a safe driver, I managed to sneakily trade everyone in my car for non-skiers and we, plus Cucia Lorry and Jim’s mum, got to eat all the teas – a rogue but enjoyable whitebait, roast potatoes and sausage roll combo – located in the even more rogue attraction of  Lowestoft’s ‘Africa Alive’. Mom went to Annalise, and whilst sleep-deprived Lucy actually won out for Dod, I took pity and offered to write the match report because I remembered that being a fresher at the end of term is really tiring. Next week sees another away-day and another opportunity for goals, points and post-match wines.

 

08/12/2018 Women's Blues 1 - 0 Sudbury 1s | MoM Monty

On Saturday the WBlues all succeeded in waking up to their alarms (looking at no-one in particular) for a bright and early meet at 11.40 at Wilby after a stressful week of CUHSki and hols. After a surprise appearance by Darrel himself at sunny Sudbury, the team stepped out in their lucky black kit. They succeeded in building suspense by not scoring so that Darrel would be able to be as chilled out as possible and to give him chance to make clear his strongly-worded opinions on having other wblues supporters, earning himself DoD. Finally, Bella came to the rescue and brought the scoreline to 1-0, where it stayed, despite many slick short corners and majority possession. (Very) long-awaited, ‘interesting’ pasta was served for teas with a good cuppa and the close competition for MoM was declared a three-way tie, but a late bribe from Monty or some questionable maths by Battie resulted in the former winning the title. The squad then headed home for the upcoming festive hols but wishing they could just skip xmas so that they could be back in cam asap for lots of yoyo-related fun in Jan.

 

MoM: Monty

 

DoD: Darrel

 

12/01/2019 Women's Blues 2 - 0 Nomads | MoM Monty

After a heavy week of pre-season training for both sides, it was that time of the month again: the optimum window for CUHC to gain points, Blues vs Nomads. The game started well with lots of cycleing of the ball in the lower region of the pitch. Soon we were in full flow and Izzy Austin lined the goal with the ball – it was if she had wings! Soon after, Bella Padt doubled our lead – her shot was no match for the keeper’s pads. We maintained possession well – this wasn’t just regular play, this was maxi play. Unfortunately, half time hit and we soon realised there were no dod sweets to satisfy those pms (post match sugar) cravings. We came into the second period of play and something wasn’t quite right – our transfer had clotted and our press had started to leak. The flow lightened up and the WBlues were starting to cramp – when would this match end? Fortunately we held the flood gates shut till the end and there were no stains left on our match record. Always looking to improve, the WBlues will tamper with their tactics and come back ready for more blood, sweat and tears next time.

MoM: Monty

Dod: Bethan

 

19/01/2019 Women's Blues 0 - 0 Cambridge City 3s | MoM ?

Darrel sadly did not miss anything special on Saturday 19th January, contrary to his spidey senses. We kept possession, passed the ball an awful lot but sadly did not manage to put it in the goal. Therefore, the derby ended 0-0. But with ginger cake in our bellies and Alumni weekend to look forward to, the wblues are positive about the (hopefully less frosty) next few weeks!

MoM ?

DoD: Alicia

 

26/01/2019 Women's Blues 7 - 0 Norwich Dragons 1s | MoM Lucia

7 Goals- (Ariana Grande feat. WBlues)

Driving the baseline and slick silky corners,
Keeping possession and lots of clean tackles
Giving it early and making them leads,
These are a few of the Blues’ favourite things

Been through some bad times and heard Darrell shouting,
Yes we’ve improved but sometimes it was savage,
But this massive win shows that we’re a sick team
Win the league and varsity that’s the dream…

Battle- she flicked it, Mollie- she binned it,
Izzy- she slapped it, Annalise- she hit it
Give Luce the ball, gee thanks she’ll score it
We got it, we pass it, 7 goals, we score it

We get it, we score it, we get it we score it,
We get it, we score it, we get it we score it,
You like our team? Gee thanks we’re on it
We get it, we pass it, one touch, we score it

After the match we ate Bella’s mum’s baking,
After we’d cooled down to stop our legs aching
Elaine brought us doughnuts and Lucy’s dog came
And Amy in danger spoons cheated on Owain

Now Darrel can’t tell us off for not scoring
And you can’t say that our matches are boring
7 goals in one match and a clean sheet,
O*ford, Bath, Dereham are who we will beat…

MOM- Lucia
DOD- Monty

 

2017/18
2017/18 Results

 

2017/18 Match reports
27/01/18 Women's Blues 1-4 West Herts 1s| MoM Clare

We started off the big home double header weekender with a match against Sally, with ourselves to prove after the last time we played her, the score of which should not be mentioned. The game began with a centre pass, and just like Wednesday night, I don’t remember much else of the game. However, thanks to Darrel’s celeb’rity brother filming on the side-line (no, he didn’t come just to watch you Lyds), I can re-watch the game and get the facts straight, so I can write a SICK match report, with no need to call on others to help me. An attack up the right hand side left G-Buzz lightyear with the ball, only to hit a cracking reverse into the D, unfortunately being picked up by the West Herts defence. They were soon to break our He(a)rts, distributing the ball away from their goal and to ours, scoring 2 goals in quick succession. Lucky for them, their short corners were some-what more of a success than ours; undoubtedly because of my poor accuracy of injections (yes mum, that’s why I got DoD). Half time came and went but sadly no Tangfastics were had, so the second half of the match was seemingly less fizzy and lacking the gel(atine) to keep our structure together. Our sieve defensive tactics on short corners let the free flowing west hearts through the gaps that they could find, and another goal came their way. Being demoted from injecting our short corners, a much more accurate injection from our new centre back Clare allowed defender-now-midfielder Darling to climb the goal tally, and allow us back into the game, however the goals came in too little too late and Sally ended victorious once again.

MoM: Clare

DoD: HatBev

 

20/01/18 Women's Blues 4-2 Wapping 1s| MoM Soph, Georgie, Bella, Lucia

 

13/01/18 Women's Blues 2-2 St Albans 2s| MoM Amy Edwards

Last weekend, the women’s Blues started their 2018 campaign hosting St Albans 2s. Having lost 2-0 back in October, the Blues were determined to get some points back and start their year off on the right foot. The game started well for the Blues, with both teams sharing the play quite evenly, and neither team seemingly having much opportunity to score. Relying on their playmaker at the back, St Albans managed to break through many of our lines of defence. Mostly by not bothering to give the ball to their midfielders, their centre back tricked many of the Blues using a slidey disguise pass straight to some of their forwards. This happened across the pitch, with St Albans scoring an undeniably good goal from a deflection off a slide pass into the D, by a lady who didn’t seem to value her shins – because “when you get to her age, it doesn’t matter” about using protection. The first half finished 1-0, and after a rousing pep talk from Kieran, the Blues came out ready to get some goals back. With a new press designed to keep the ball from their slidey disuise woman, St Albans started to flounder at getting the ball out of their half, and the Blues began to dominate. After lots of D penetrations with none of our forwards looking to score themselves, we began to get some short corners. Improving on our 0-10% short corner scoring ratio, the first of these corners went in the goal, with Captain Luce bypassing all our routines to put one in the goal herself – 1-1. Against the run of the play, St Albans managed to get the ball through our press to a runaway forward. Tiring as she ran into the D, the lady with no shin-pads decided she would stop running, so that she felt a small touch from Lucia and could safely fall on to the ground to claim a penalty flick: 2-1. Determined not to be beaten again, the Women’s Blues continued to fight, penetrating the D multiple times and winning some more short corners. The fourth and final of these was successfully converted by Sophia, who scrambled to get the ball in off the keepers pads after a decent initial save – 2-2. Overall, a strong start to the year from the women’s Blues, with the strongest of starts from Amy, who proved there is no point in coming to preseason.

MoM: Amy Edwards

DoD: Hatty Darling

 

18/11/17 Women's Blues 1-1 Cambridge City 2s| MoM Hattie Bevan

Match report 18/11/17

Lesson plan:

How to beat Maidstone (Man City)

Learning Objectives:

All will be able to get the ball into the D

Most will be able to tackle without causing a foul

Some will be able to confuse the opposition which direction the ball is going (Hatty).

We went into the match with a low grade prediction of a C, however, with some extra caffeine from Molly Fuchs we were pumped to try and increase our points. Hattie’s Mahrez’s lonely walk to the banter bus singing Oaklahoma summed up the first few minutes of the game where our minds where elsewhere. At this point, just like Leicester City, we could have done with Claudio on the sideline. We started to settle into the match allowing Hattie Mahrez to deliver a perfect pass, (Grade prediction: Hattie Mahrez – A) to G Vardy Buzz who nailed it into the back left corner, (Grade prediction: G Vardy Buzz – A*). However, we were a long way from the end of the match. With several short corners against us Foxes, Freddie Schmeichel made some cracking saves, (Grade prediction: Freddie Schmeichel – A). The unbelievable transfer from Hatty Morgan had not only the opposition confused but some of our own players about which direction the ball was going in, (Grade prediction: Hatty Morgan – A*). There was excitement and tension in the air as we entered the second half with Maidstone coming at us even harder. Lucia Okazaki cleared the ball from the 25 to Ri Maguire who was even seen up attacking in the D, (Grade Prediction: Lucia Okazaki and Ri Maguire – A). Finally, the whistle blew and we knew it was victory at last which is where we differ from Leicester city, (Grade Prediction: Leicester city D).

We learned a lot from todays lesson, Hattie was wormed as a child, (New grade prediction: Hattie Mahrez – D) as well as making her way around the blues (womens) team in the cloob, (New grade prediction: Hattie Mahrez- U). We also learned not to let any young children near Alicia Albrighton in the fear they may knocked out, (Grade prediction: Alicia Albrighton – D). I myself also learned to keep my mouth shut until after voting for DOD, (Grade prediction: Lydia Ulloa – Probably shouldn’t be a teacher).

In the words of Freddie Briscoe “We are hockey players not ballet dancers.’

Miss Copeland

MoM: Hatty Darling

DoD: Lydia Copeland

 

12/11/17 Women's Blues 0-2 Ipswich 1s| MoM Georgie Burrows

The day began with a series of unfortunate events. A flat tyre from Molly ultimately ruining our basic bitch fiat squad as we lost the pink mobile and Bevan informing us it was Black kit… it was in fact blue. (DOD for Bevan… apparently not.) Through lack of CUHC stash we resorted to oversized, smelly and rather damp bibs and improvised with numbers marked on with sharpie… today we did not win at hockey and we were not looking fi(a)t. We travelled towards the coast, quite literally playing at the beach and experienced some typical British beach weather, wind, rain and hail (no not snow Lydia). With everyone pumped after our HUGE win yesterday Vs Canterbury, we were looking to do the double. Unfortunately Ipswich started stronger and dominated for the first 10mins, evidently they were used to the slow beach style pitch, the first half ended 2nil to them. We started the 2nd half stronger and determined to bring it back, some slightly more aggressive than others with Bethan and Bevan having to take a few minutes off the pitch for some questionable tackling. To quote Bethan “We do like to play dirty” . Despite a strong second half we were unable to convert and the game ended 2nil to Ipswich. Match teas consisted of yet another jacket potato, (maybe 2 for Bethan although that is to be kept on the DL) , although today “The tuna mayo ratio was bang on” according to Bethan ( all in all a great match tea for Bethan evidently) and a cake courtesy of Freddie’s mum. #freddiesmumhasgotitgoingon

MoM: G Buzz

DoD: Amy Edwards

 

11/11/17 Women's Blues 4-2 Canterbury 2s| MoM Team

Awaiting Report

MoM: Rhiannon Osbourne/Alicia Murphy/Lucia Corry/Annalise Whitehead/Bella Padt/Georgie Burrows

DoD: Rhianna Miller

 

4/11/17 Women's Blues 0-3 Sevenoaks 2s| MoM Bethan Moncur and Georgie Burrows

Match report – 4th Nov The match vs Sevenoaks can be summarised by the inspirational words of Freddie Briscoe – “We actually played quite well this week”. Saturday taught us a few important lessons: 1) Like the royal family, captain and vice should never travel together 2) Sophia and Molly can keep cool under pressure and have excellent leadership skills as vice-vice captain and vice-vice-vice captain respectively 3) We are a group of basic bitches (see convoy of fiat 500s) We were strong all across the pitch but the opposition had a few break away goals which put us 2-0 down at half time. Naseem was clear to point out that we were fantastic at shooting from outside the D whilst looking for deflections. Molly’s grandad (the tactical genius that he is) informed us that we spent far more time on the floor than the opposition – clearly the sole reason for the result. We dominated in the 2nd half but unfortunately went another goal down to finish the match 3-0. QUIZ: Which car are you ? 1. What do you do in the cloob? A – sauce and perhaps a sneaky switch B – beef with bouncer – never make it in C – cutting some shapes 2. Favourite drink ? A – jäger bomb B – lager beers C – VK 3. You would describe yourself as a … A- player B – lad C – basic bitch Mostly A’s – Porsche Mostly B’s – BMW Mostly C’s – Fiat 500

MoM: Georgia Burrows and Bethan Moncur

DoD: Bella Padt and Bethan Moncur

 

28/10/17 Women's Blues 3-0 Old Loughts 1s| MoM Sophia Padt

[du du du du du du du du du …. Du du du du du du…. Du du du.. du du du du du du… du du du du du du… du du du ..du du du du du du… du du du du du du.. du du du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3hr7qDrjnc). Camera pans to studio. Molly Lineker, Alan Sheario, Danny (Alicia) Murphy and Jermaine G-Buzz are sitting around a glass table in the Wilby clubhouse. Molly Lineker on cam 5]

Molly Lineker: Oh what a beautiful morning, oh what a beautiful day at the Wilberfortress.

Alan Sheario: Yes, looking forward to an upside down top of the table clash between the W Blues and the Old Loughtonians at the Wilberfortress.

Danny (Alicia) Murphy: It is a big day for the W Blues. A win today would put them second in the upside down table!! What do we think of their chances?

Molly Lineker: Well, the statistics are looking good for the W Blues. They only have 1 injured player on the side of the pitch compared to an seasonly average of 1.768, and in the 4 sunny days the W Blues have played in so far they have played 37% better than their average performance.

Alan Sheario: I agree Molly, today has the potential to be good for the W Blues. Also, this is a big day for the W Blues most senior player, Hattie Bevan, who celebrated her 28th birthday yesterday.

Danny (Alicia) Murphy: Maybe she should be playing for the Old Loughtonians!

[All look at Danny (Alicia) Murphy and shake heads]

Molly Lineker: It will be interesting to see if that plays into the W Blues hands. Statistics show that the peak of a player’s hockey performance is at 27 years old, but 31 years old for goal keepers. However, on the other hand, fans are flooding into the Wilberfortress to watch Hattie’s big game.

[Camera 3 pans to fans flooding in and pauses momentarily on Robin Bevan on the sideline]

Alan Sheario: Oh look, we have another celebrity on the sideline for the W Blues, Robin Bevan!

Danny (Alicia) Murphy: The W Blues have quite the celebrity following.. Remember the Kenyan international spotted in the crowd for last week’s Varsity Derby.

Alan Sheario: Oh yes!

[camera 5 on Molly Lineker with hand on ear piece]

Molly Lineker: Today’s capacity statistics have just come in. We have 31 supporters on the sideline, with a cumulative age of 953. This exceeds the average cumulative age of support at the Wilberfortress of 262.5. But the W Blues have not reached the capacity limit, which is only reached on the Best Day of the Year.

[Camera on W Blues entering the Wilberfortress with Rob and Bev following to umpire]

Alan Sheario: Robin Bev will be pleased to see that Rob and Bev are umpiring.

Danny (Alicia) Murphy: That could get confusing. Especially for Amy, struggles with name similarities and didn’t realise that the Padts or the Richardson-Walshs were sisters!

Jermaine G-Buzz: Unbelievable Jeff!

Alan Sheario: That IS embarrassing. Looks like the game is about to start. Let’s go out onto the balcony.

[camera pans to Wilby and W Blues play some hockey against Old Loughts]

Alan Sheario: Ohh and Bevan is robbing the ball and Robin Bevan is cheering Bevan ‘Rob Em’ and Rob and Bev blow the whistle. The ball goes into the D and Soph scores and goal then Robin Bevan and Rob and Bevan and Bev all get ready for the restart. 1-0 Women’s Blues.

Jermaine G-Buzz: Unbelievable Jeff!

[W Blues play some more hockey against Old Loughts. W Blues short corner. Ball goes into the goal. Bev goes to TMO]

Bev: Can we go upstairs on that one…. Okay yes, okay, I can award the goal?

[whistle goes]

Alan Sheario: 2-0 Women’s Blues!

Molly Lineker: That was a cracking short corner from the W Blues today, with Molly slapping the ball 0.88m outside the right post for Lydia’s deflection. The Women’s Blues are on form today.

Jermaine G-Buzz: Unbelievable Jeff!

[W Blues play some more hockey against Old Loughts then the half time whistle goes. Camera 3 pans to studio]

Molly Lineker: Well, that was a good start for the Women’s Blues. Let’s go down to Eleanor Toms pitchside for some statistical analysis of the match.

[switch to camera 2 pitchside]

Eleanor Toms: Thanks Molly. Our sophisticated analysis shows that the W Blues have scored 2 goals and the Old Loughtonians have scored none.

[switch to camera 5 in the studio]

Molly Lineker: Thanks Eleanor. The second half is getting underway. Let’s see if the W Blues can hold up their lead

[W Blues play some more hockey against Old Loughtonians]

Alan Sheario: 3-0 Women’s Blues after a goal from Annalise. What a move that was! Let’s take a look at that pattern of midfield play again – they must have been practicing that one in training!!

Eleanor Toms: Yes, that was the 1v1 drill we did on Thursday night.

Jermaine G-Buzz: Unbelievable Jeff!

[Women’s Blues play some more goals against Old Loughtonians. The final whistle goes].

Final score: Cambridge 3 – Old Loughtonians 0

Mom – Sophia Padt

Dod – Hatty Darling

Match report – Molly Buxton

 

21/10/17 Women's Blues 1-10 West Herts 1s| MoM Freddie Briscoe and Clare Marsh

We played some hockey against Sally and lost by many goals and then we went home.

MoM: Freddie & Clare

DoD: Molly

 

14/10/17 Women's Blues 1-2 Wapping 1s| MoM Molly Buxton

As can only follow on from the Numerous Skype interviews that were had on Sunday night, it was only right that after today’s game vs Wapping, a whole team Skype interview was need. This is the general gist:

Name: Wblues

Team: Wblues (Duhhh, already answered)

Team Playing: Wapping 1s

Age: 18-20+1

Previous Hockey Experience: 12 Blues combined;

Lydia – Loughborough (seriously though, will you stop wearing their stash pls?) (-20)

Sophia, Bella and Hattie – Hockey camp in Amsterdam #oldfriends #waybackwhen (-10)

Amy – Ulster u21 (+30)

Everyone – general playing of regular hockey (+50)

Crsid: undisclosed (clearly don’t want feedback) (-10)

Current Captain: Hatty (+10)

Challenge for Captaincy: Captain Luce (+10)

Handshake: Strong, firm & virtual (+5)

3 cheers: Could have been louder (-5)

Fines Distributed: None, we are a lovely team (+50) *stand on their toes**stick between their legs*

Fines Received: Amy – Yellow card at 65mins, for a HORRENDOUS, deliberate back stick tackle to break down play (-25). Tut Tut.

Outfit: Correct shade of Blue (+100), although one of the umpires mistakenly called us green during the match #shame

Hockey stick choice: Excellent, all bar one – soz pals, who needs a stick to play anyway?

Hockey skills choice: Some phenomenal, inspirational, out-of-this-world skills were on display (+20)

Chat: Overall 11/10, although Captain Hat had to quieten Coach Naseem on the sideline as his chat was too good for the umps.

Hockey enthusiasm and commitment: Cannot Fault (+20)

Why CUHC?: In the words of others, “the greatest club in the land”, and “why not CUHC?”. Exactly. We echo these inspirational words.

When was a time that you showed real passion?: Sophia: having been injured and having not being able to play for the past week, I really missed playing with my fave gals. I made sure I was really passionate for my return, so much so I that I scored from a shangle (+1 goal, to make the final score 2-1)

To finish off; any fun facts?

Sass: I once ate a man. I ate him whole. His liver and everything. The liver is the most nutritional part. (fun fact: apparently you would die if you ate 1 ½ human livers in succession) (Ew. Gross. -20)

Fred Bris: Big fan of biscuits (+50)

Lucia: Loves Varsity hotel pizza (-10)

Molly: MUL

Sophia: I can down a Tomahawk in 5 seconds (I’m yet to see this spectacle – challenge)

Annalise: I’m a US citizen

G Buzz: I wet myself when I was … and sober (-5)

Eleanor: I wet myself when I was … and sober (-5)

Lydia: Written on 5 cars #signmeupforzipcar

Bella: I’ve got with X CUHC boys (solve for X: Bella + Tomahawk + cloob = X)

 

Score chart: 0-50: Instant rejection

51-100: Read CV

101-150: Admissions Test

151-200: Invite to face-to-face interview

200+: Invited to thrash the dark side

Final Score: 236. Well done.

Mom: Molly

Dod: Bevan

 

07/10/17 Women's Blues 0-2 St Albans 2s| MoM Amy Edwards

Sometimes things in life get confused. It is therefore important that if in doubt questions are raised. There are many unusual things that can be seen on an away day in St Albans. Molly Buxton arrived on time for or wilby meet (and saved poor annalise from the late fines to the detriment of our team funds). Cannon took a selfie with a peacock. Bevan brought her beautifully baked rocky roads (when you’ve been Dod so many times, the half time sweets need an upgrade), however neglected to bring any underwear. Fredz whipped out a new style sexy smock for the match, keen to avoid any confusion. We started brightly, but St Albans were brighter in their glowing orange kit and capitalised on our initial trepidation to score a pinpoint early goal. Cambridge didn’t let their heads drop and continued to press the Albans players hard, with strong leads up top from G Buzz, and exhaustive running from Bevan. ‘Body shield’ Amy continued to impress in defence, making several fantastic tackles and blocks. A hook of a shot (nb not of the type preferred by Padt jr) flew into the goal to put St Albans 2-0 going into halftime. Things improved in the second half, with a tightening of play restricting St Albans and frustrated them further. Whilst we didn’t find the goal, neither did Albans. Sadly despite improved play and passing from DEFENDER darling, we just couldn’t find the breakthrough we’ve been working towards. But we can all take a lot of heart from the improvements that are starting to be made, and that elusive win is just around the corner. Showers were in the somewhat agricultural changing rooms, but things were made better by some strong Shania twain tunes. Match teas were a worthy of mention, with a lovely pasta bake followed by the excellent baking of Bevan. Fredz remained cautious about the origin of everything she ate.

Mom: Amy

Dod: Freddie

 

30/09/17 Women's Blues 0-2 CoP 1s| MoM Hatty Darling

With a solid 4 games under our belt and 18 goals conceded Cambridge were ready to welcome Ipswich to Wilby and show them all our flare new skills from tour #tourtourtour.

Thankfully Molly had had time to recover from the visualisation session before training on Thursday so that we could all peacefully visualise beating Ipswich pre game. However, as with our breakaway defending skills, clearly this needs a tad more work, as our visions sadly were not to come true.

With clear calling from Hat and Fredz at the back, we instantly put Ipswich under pressure with our new press – sadly though this was too hard for poor Soph, with less than a minute’s play when the glute was back to being a pain in the a*se. Thankfully Defender Darling was spotted stepping up to centre forward to help cover (captains duties apaz). Despite constant pressure by the forwards, we went into half time 0-0. Now was the time to use some out of the box thinking, with our push back to start the second half. A disguised slap from the now center-mid Hatty (is there any position she can’t play?) to Beths sneaky run up the pitch looked as if we were about to finally get on the score sheet, but in classic pre season style an unfortunate breakaway got passed us and left a 2v1 on goal for poor ninja Freds. 1-0 not to us. A lot of running around happened, and before we knew it, the final whistle went and final score 2-0. All in all yet another non-reflective score line to how well we really played.

Unfortunately we had one missing in action, rumours say the ‘hook’ (M.Buxton et al, 2017) meant that Bella had other fresher duties to attend.

MoM Hatty

DoD Hattie (think the hattie’s were mixed up #riggedresults)

 

23/09/17 Women's Blues 1-5 CoP 1s| MoM Hattie Bevan and Sophia Padt

It has now been so long since we actually played this match that I’ve actually forgotten pretty much everything about it, apart from the fact that the opposition scored a lot of goals and we scored one. I can also remember that the score did not exactly represent the game played so please don’t judge, we’ll do better next time. In light of a lack of detailed report on the match itself, I would instead like to take this opportunity to register my disproval for the choice of DOD this week and suggest that I think MOM would have been a worthier title for my achievement #sunseaandsuspicioussupervisions

MoM Hattie Bevan and Sophia Padt

DoD G Buzz

 

2016/17
2016/17 Results
Date Match type Opposition Venue Score
17/09/16 League Norwich City 1 H W 3-1
24/09/16 League Old Loughts 1 A W 2-0
01/10/16 League Wapping 1 H L 2-3
08/10/16 League Maidstone 1 A W 1-0
12/10/16 BUCS League Oxford University 1 A W 2-1
15/10/16 League St Albans 2 H L 0-2
19/10/16 BUCS League University of Bath 1 H L 1-3
22/10/16 League Norwich Dragons 1 A D 1-1
26/10/16 BUCS League University of Bristol 1 H W 1-0
29/10/16 League Bedford 1 H L 1-2
02/11/16 BUCS League Exeter University A L 0-4
05/11/16 League Holcombe 1A H W 8-0
09/11/16 BUCS League Cardiff University 1 H D 1-1
12/11/16 League Ipswich 1 A L 0-2
19/11/16 League Wisbech 1 H W 2-1
26/11/16 League Bromley & Beckenham 1 A D 1-1
03/12/16 League Norwich City 1 A W 5-1
14/01/17 League Old Loughts 1 A W 2-0
18/01/17 BUCS League Oxford University 1 H D 1-1
28/01/17 League Madistone 1 H L 0-3
28/01/17 BUCS League University of Bristol 1 A W 4-3
04/02/17 League St Albans 2 A D 1-1
08/02/17 BUCS League Exeter 1 H L 0-2
11/02/17 League Norwich Dragons 1 H W 3-2
12/02/17 League Wapping 1 A W 3-2
15/02/17 BUCS League Cardiff University 1 A L 1-3
22/02/17 BUCS League Bath University 1 A L 0-4
25/02/17 League Bedford 1 A D 1-1
01/03/17 BUCS Cup Nottingham University 1 H L 2-3
04/03/17 League Holcombe 1A A D 1-1
11/03/17 League Ipswich 1 H CONCEDED L 0-5
12/03/17 Varsity Oxford University 1 Southgate L 0-4
18/03/17 League Wisbech Town 1 A D 2-2
25/03/17 League Bromley & Beckenham 1 H L 0-3

 

2016/17 Match Reports
25/03/17 Women's Blues 0-3 Brom & Becks 1s| MoM Sally Bradley

Women’s blues were determined to get a win after what was seemingly turning out to be a crappy end to an otherwise great season. After drawing 1-1 away with no coach and 12 men we were confident we could win at the wilberfortress. But it seems, as our bad luck has been the case, we just couldn’t score.

CAMBRIDGE: >80% possession. 6 Short corners. 1 Penalty Flick. 4 Open play shots on target. 0 goals.

BROMBECKS: <20% possession. 2 short corners, 1 goal. 2 open play shots on target, 2 goals.

And so we lost 3 nil, to a team already relegated who turned up in a limo, late, and then stole our changing room for showers whilst also using their own changing room. Sssssssnakes.

What can be said for the women’s blues this season is that although it’s been a tough one: replacing a coach mid season and losing varsity 4-0, we have all made friends for life. Gonna miss it.

Sal out.

Women’s blues class of 2017: O. Shears, H. Brown , H. Moore, M. Buxton, S. Bradley (VC), F. Kidd (C) (absent: E. Thorpe, C. Cox)

MoM: Sal (team vote of 1 person)

DoD: Sal (default)

 

18/03/17 Women's Blues 2 vs. 2 Wisbech 1s | MoM Cat Cox

The beginning of the end

The beginning of the end actually starts with a tale from long ago, at the beginning of the beginning.

The year was 2011. It was 11:45am. On an unspecified stretch of road in the depths of Norfolk, a car bounced along, the only notable feature in an otherwise flat and featureless wasteland of ploughed fields. The driver was Lewis, self-appointed but unwaveringly enthusiastic coach of the Bedouin. Lewis glanced at his watch – 15 minutes until push-back. Even by the tardy standards of the Bedouin team of 2011/12, they were running impressively late. In the back of the car, two freshers sat silently, both excited for the match ahead. Neither Charlotte Frost nor Cat Cox had ever played against Wisbech before, and they were eager to show off their hockey skills. It was one of their first away matches, and the novelty of driving around the fens had yet to wear thin.

Some hockey was played; the score has been lost to the annals of history. It was not the hockey that was important about that day, but everything else that went with it. It was when Lewis almost mowed down an elderly lady at a zebra crossing in his haste to get to the match; it was when one car’s sat-nav took them to a nearby care home rather than the pitch; it was when the players literally ran from the cars directly on to start the game; it was the team’s general disdain for the beach-like pitch and grimy showers; it was when a young Charlotte Frost horrified and fascinated her teammates in equal measure by eating hummus with her bare hands at match teas, clawing it out and scooping it directly into her mouth, no bread required.

The details of many an away match have been forgotten, but something about that Bedouin fixture against Wisbech remains entrenched in the memory.

And now let us return to 2017, when Cat Cox returned – for the final time – to that iconic Wisbech pitch. Much has happened since that first visit – varsities have been won and lost, bones have been broken, the rules to 20+1 mastered – but from that early excitement to wear the light blue shirt has grown a deep-seated love for all things CUHC.

The day got off to an inexplicably complex start, the transport logistics of getting all members of the team to Wisbech at the correct time apparently necessitating the need for a facebook message thread with 234 messages. Luckily we’re all at Cambridge, otherwise it might have been difficult to follow the resultant highly complicated meet-time instructions (“Meet at 11:15, Wilby”). After a delay for reasons that remain unclear, all members of the team were accounted for. One car sped off to Homerton to collect Faye, who had made the error of visiting the other place (allegedly for a 20+1 party, the results of an inquest pending). Clare showed her customary enthusiasm for travelling in the #legend car by calling shotgun at the first possible occasion. Regrettably, her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II was not in attendance, so Clare was unable to follow up on her claim this week that if the queen were to turn up, Clare would “probably permit her to travel in the #legend car” also.

The journey to Wisbech was notable only for its length and tedium – the flat Norfolk countryside was almost as dull as Freddie Briscoe’s seminar on the different colours and makes of tractor, ‘enjoyed’ by all in the #legend car.

On arrival, some members of the team went to watch the end of the Bedouin match, whilst a select few decided that they were far too busy inspecting the décor in the changing rooms to offer any support. The changing rooms were unimproved since Cat Cox’s first visit in 2011, although the addition of what appeared to be a tea trolley in the corner was novel.

Training since Varsity has largely consisted of eating large amounts of food, watching Arge attempt to eat even larger amounts of food, and listening to Craig deliver a grandiose commentary on his own performance whilst conveniently ignoring the ball hitting his feet (“Larner has the ball, he’s on fire, look at him skill these defenders”). Whether the Blues were in top form coming into the Wisbech match was thus debatable. Nevertheless, Captain Kidd delivered a rousing team talk, before the hunnies marched on to the pitch to undertake in a warm-up that might charitably be described as ‘fun-sized’. Sheario, having decided that playing is overrated, made a return to her preferred position as manager/subs-overseer. This was a good thing, otherwise it might have proved challenging to run the bench (consisting of one player).

As with that first match in Wisbech, little shall be recorded about the hockey.

At the end of match, it was impossible to say whether Cat was weeping over the end of her illustrious CUHC career, or it was merely the driving rain that was causing water to course down her cheeks. We’ll go with the latter, although claims that she was heard to exclaim “why am I so lame?” as she wiped her face are suspicious. A cake, bedecked with jelly snakes and sweets in the preferred shade of blue, was brought out in the changing rooms. A somewhat confusing chorus of “Happy Birthday/CUHC day”, performed by team members in various states of undress, ensued. Both were greatly appreciated by Cat, whose interests include CUHC-related singing, nostalgia and food.

Match teas were, much like the rest of Wisbech, largely disappointing. Chips and a bap provided an excessive carbohydrate to anything-else ratio, although Sheario did note that some people in the clubhouse seemed to relish the opportunity to eat as much as possible. Faye delivered the news about the result to Craig with her phone on loud-speaker, which seemed like a risky move given both the fact that the opposition were in earshot, and that Craig is not known for being overly respectful about  opposing players [see pre-varsity team talk, 2017]. Thankfully, he refrained from saying anything overly offensive.

Cat was awarded MoM (unjustified, largely out of sentimentality) and DoD (justified, largely as the result of telling hotel staff at varsity ball things that shall remain unrecorded, should the GMC ever stumble across this document in the future).

And thus the sun has set upon Cat Cox’s CUHC career. This makes her unspeakably sad on a number of levels – for example, about not playing any more varsity matches, and it no longer being acceptable to shout grossly offensive songs at Oxf*rd players whilst daytime drinking – but one thing that she has to celebrate is the fact that she may conceivably never have to travel to Wisbech again.

MoM Cat Cox

DoD Cat Cox

 

11/03/17 Women's Blues 0 vs. 5 Ipswich 1s | CONCEDED MATCH

Womens blues conceded to Ipswich, due to Oxford snaking us by not having a game the day before varsity. Ipswich were understanding, but did little to try work with us to rearrange- which is a shame, as it would have been a class game with us giving them a good run for their money and hopefully coming out with a win. We are a top 3 side team, and it is such a shame how the events have occurred. Losing varsity the next day was also not ideal.

This will be avenged come next season. Good luck girls. We are all routing for you #CUHCCUHCCUHC

 

04/03/17 Women's Blues 1-1 Holcombe 1as | MoM Olivia Shears

Just a week before varsity and the Women’s Blues were finally back together, with even Thorpedo returning to the pitch. Her whereabouts for the last month remain unclear: some say she has been giving birth to lambs in a feat that defies biology; others say she has in fact just been herding some lost sheep that she found Wandering around Wilberforce, turning them into a formidable force that brought destruction to the dark side. #5from5

For whatever reason, we were relieved to have her back, and a trip to Holcombe gave us the perfect opportunity to consolidate our play ahead of the big day. Having beaten them 8-0 the previous term, we entered the game with some confidence and started off well in the first half with the majority of the possession but an inability to actually find the goal. However, it was certainly clear that this was not the same team we played last time, and that they in fact had a really solid goalie (not as good as you, Fred, don’t worry, and not as solid as you, Clare, don’t worry).

It wasn’t until the second half that we managed to get one in the goal, with a deceptive slide from DEFENDER Darling off a short corner. Unfortunately, Holcombe equalised not long after and then the classic panic set in. An unlucky penalty flick following a Holcombe foot on the line during our short corner meant the scores remained even. The panic rose as a combination of dodgy tackles and dodgy umpiring saw DEFENDER Darling get two greens and the mighty Dr Cox receive a yellow. We seemed to lose our way, much as Molly was to do later on the M25 (twice), and as my phone did during 2s3s in a cunning plan to acquire myself an O*ford boyfriend. (Only for the inside knowledge of course: “It’s not you, it’s not me — it’s the team.”)

The game finished in a disappointing draw, but, determined to win something that day, we set our sights on Nicola White in the bar afterwards and attempted to barter with her and get her to give us a motivational speech before V-day. Unfortunately, it appears the GB Olympic Hockey team have some sort of cartel going on and seeing as CUHC can barely afford hockey balls, we can’t really afford Olympians.

But not to worry, as it’s not as if the Women’s Blues need any more motivation for the big day. The thought of victory against the dark blues is surely enough to inspire anyone (maybe even a whole generation, Shears?). With Craig and Big Al on the sideline, and our adoring fans cheering us on, we will fight like we have never fought before. We will TURN UP.

Also, just imagine the look on O*ford’s faces if CUHC pulled off #7from7.

 

26/02/17 Women's Blues 1-1 Bedford 1s | MoM Hannah Brown

The blues arrived the earliest for an away match that they have been all season. The lure of the new kit dragged us to wilby at an excellent time, and we merrily left wilby in cars of FIVE, decked out in our light blue hats. However, due to the excitement of stash arrivals we all forgot about the promo filming planned, but at least we all looked great for our match. An hour (plus FIVE mins for a quick A1 scenic detour), we all arrived in Bedford and were feeling psyched for this tough encounter with the top of the league team. Energy was high, partly thanks to Sal’s very tasty breakfast shake, containing FIVE ingredients (nutella, coffee, banana, milk and blueberries). Our recent history against Bedford has been chequered but always exciting – earlier in the season an excellent performance saw Bedford sneak away with a win, despite goal-of-the-season contender from the Bradley-Bevan dream team. (5 -1) months later, we were raring to replicate the excellent performances of late and started the match at a high tempo, charging down loose balls and keeping high pressure on the Bedford defence. Our FIVE forwards consistently worked hard, backed up by strong linking play from the dynamic midfield trio. MoM Hannah Brown had a stormer on the left, with excellent strength and passing play leading to several promising attacks. FIVE minutes from the end of the first half, the clinical and quick nature of the Bedford attacks led to a penalty flick, which was dispatched low and hard into the bottom left hand corner of the goal. The second half followed a similar pattern to the first, but with improved marking and determined defending by Hatty and Luce both leading to increased attacks. The Cambridge pressure on the Bedford goal was high, and it was only a matter of time before we scored. DEFENDER darling stepped up and dispatched an excellent short corner, for her (FIVE +2)th goal of the season. The game continued at an excellent pace, but despite further chances, Cambridge were unable to convert and the match finished at 1-1. Despite only gaining a point, the performance was fantastic, and there is a lot to be excited for as we continue in the varsity build up.

MoM: Hannah Brown

DoD: Freddie Briscoe

Also, huge huge love for all the CUHC teams who smashed BDOTY with FIVE WINS

 

12/02/17 Women's Blues 3-2 Wapping 1s | MoM Lucia Corry

Original Match Date: Saturday 21st January 2017

With Varsity approaching, some members of the Women’s Blues have become increasingly concerned with undoubtedly the most important part of the day: Varsity Ball. Specifically, who to take as a date to Varsity Ball.

For some, this has been easy – multiple team members are happily coupled up, having utilised varying strategies to strengthen and make their homes[1], and having since developed varying levels of boyfriend related boringness. These players have limited need to worry in the lead up to the big event. For the remaining singletons, ‘Meet the Dates’, and its corresponding panic-induction draws ever closer.

Before Sunday, ‘the date problem’ had been predominantly addressed by trawling through the members of CUHC Social, but a trip to the Olympic Park (yes, the Olympic Park) to play Wapping presented an opportunity to nail down some date-finding tactics whilst taking a further 3 points from the weekend.

It transpires that the Lee Valley pitch is not actually exactly where the Olympics happened, nor are the changing rooms the same ones the Olympians used[2]. But, the hockey was good. Bevan scored a goal in the first minute, and despite looking occasionally ropey, the Blues scored another two goals (including a wonder Cat Cox deflection) and Wapping only scored one (plus a penalty flick).

This was the second good result (third for Hatty and Shears #bedouwinning) of the weekend for the girls; and now that the team could go out with their heads held high, it was hoped that more success would be to follow in the evening.

A summary of the various date-finding methodologies developed and employed over the weekend can be found below:

  • Install help

Employing a parent on the sideline is an innocuous looking way to get someone to help you choose a date. Shears’ Mum was treated to a great day of hockey as the Beds, Wanderers and Women’s Blues completed the infamous ‘Wilby-Triple’ on Saturday. Despite sharing the sideline with multiple male CUHC players, Liz was unfortunately only able to provide limited insight into a potential date for her daughter, stating instead that she would, in fact, attend the Varsity Ball with “any of them”. Thanks Mum.

  • Shop around

Having pulled out a 9.5 MOM-worthy performance against Wapping; which included picking a shot mid-air on its way into the net and relentlessly skilling players down the line, it was thought that Lucia may not quite have the Peter Akyol-esque stamina required to continue this through to the evening. Suspicions were thankfully unfounded – Lucia simply proceeded to up her performance (to quite possibly approaching a 9.8). The method she undertook has been well tested[3], and mainly involves being really loose. NB. This technique carries warnings – It is important to be careful lest younger CUHC members “fall in love with you”.

  • Offer rewards

This is a tactic which works best with a long build-up, and the Women’s Blues goalkeeper has been playing this game for a while now. Fooled by the innocent offer of post-Kuda biscuits, many a CUHC boy has succumbed to Freddie’s intense psychological testing and potential-date-vetting. It remains to be ascertained who has been the most successful applicant. However, in a twist of fate, Freddie threatened to undo all her hard work by swapping food sharing for food robbery; it turns out that stealing people’s naan bread is not a progressive tactic towards finding a date.

  • Get in early

A more crude tactic, employed by CUHC’s most eligible bachelorette, is simply just to ask a CUHC boy approximately 8 weeks before the actual event. This immediately gives you an advantage because nobody else has thought about it at all and you have a much wider selection to choose from. Floating the idea to several potential dates is also acceptable; allowing a ‘backup’ should you find someone else in the meantime. It’s important to remember to continue to engage with your date even when confirmed; a method demonstrated to perfection by Hannah Brown and Molly, as they proceeded to ‘chirpse’ their way through teas.

MOM Lucia

DOD Shears

[1] See ‘The Secret Boyfriend’ (Moore, 2016), and ‘The Art of Homemaking’ (Jervis, 2016)

[2] Which is lucky, because how could all the GB team possibly shower when there are just four showers?

[3] See ‘Bingo for the Single’ (Bevan, Bradley et al. 2016)

 

11/02/17 Women's Blues 3-2 Norwich Dragons 1s | MoM Hatty Darling

This match report is going to be a bit of an historical lesson about CUHC women’s blues previous encounters with the dragon. Otherwise known by the rest of the East hockey league as Norwich Dragons,  GK brizzlekicks’ ex team, and now home to our ex blues Midfielder Sophie ‘Miss’ Mullan(s). There are seemingly a lot of ties that draw us close to this team of red and green, but most notably, historical records have shown that someone always gets injured.

It all started in the season of 2015/16. The wblues played them at home before christmas and lost 3-1, tbh, I can’t remember if there was an human injury, but I do remember a hockey ball flying into the window of a Dragon’s car… oops. The second half of the season, on the other hand, was a new page, some people refer it to the day the wblues played hockey and unfortunately, also, the peak of our season. We won 6-3, but in this 9 goal thriller we lost some brave girls. 1st to go was Harriet Moore, a ball to the mouth, meant no kissing boys for a while, and Sal almost passing out. Next came Emily Thorpe, who gets a ball to the hand, and breaks her wrist… although, it is worth bearing in mind that she is renowned for her bad luck in getting inured, with, since 2013, every season about jan/feb time getting a hand-related injury. We can only pray for her now #Unexpected (Kidd, 2017).

A year later, after seeing the wblues finish convincingly in third place in East Prem, behind West Herts and Dragons respectively, a fresh-faced new squad turns up 22nd October to face the mighty dragons in their aptly named ‘Dragons Den’. This game was a nail-biter with end to end play, and the famous ‘Ulster’ exs (Classic Irish Mafia) dominating the middle of the pitch for Dragons. Some dodgy umpiring later, meant that the umpire had not checked for 10 players on the pitch when one dragon got carded, fortunately engineer Sal was at hand to remind her how to count. But the final score remained at a 1-1. This time, the unlucky individual to get injured was Sal, who sprains her thumb… yes, this is slightly sub-par compared to the previously mentioned injuries, but, I mean, it still hurts now and I can’t really grip as properly in my left hand #Tragic.

Now, I have finally caught you up on the thrilling, end-of-seat, history that is the wblues vs. the Dragon, we come to Saturday the 11th February 2017. The changing room talk was motivating, Coach Craig reminded us that this was not going to be easy, and to win, we had to TURN UP. We left the changing room, feeling hyped, and whilst warming up watched the end of the wandies match to conclude 2 out of 2 wins for CUHC so far at the #Wilberfortress, we were feeling good and ready for a big one, the first of a double-header weekend, a huge opportunity for 6 points and 2 huge wins against teams above us in the league. And then the match started, and within 1 minute we were all over the Dragon’s D, and soon after, Clare (#sassyFresh), who was aware of the Dragon’s strong central midfield (see above), decides to step up for the team and take out one of their key players with a ball to the lower chin #tactical*. The match was paused whilst the dragon’s player lay on the floor in need of steri-strips, which, apparently, none of the first aid kits had, awks. This didn’t break our flow, as soon as the match re-started we were dominating and enjoying the flowing hockey, with forwards converting attacking play into short corners, of which we converted 2, both from Hatty Darling snaking Sal on the ladley deflection and deciding to aim for the hole between the GK’s legs twice instead. As well as there being plenty of shots on goal, which were somehow saved on the line by their GK and none other then Ex wblues Miss Mullans. The midfields were also joining in on the attack, with Faye Kidd scoring goal  3 of the game for CUHC and finally the centre backs enjoying an occasional wonder up the pitch to aid in the aggressive pressure we were having all over them.

With a final score of 3-2, it was all in all a very good day at the office, with solid performances all round, and the encouragement that we, as a team, had finally ‘clicked’. Bring on tomorrow! #WETURNEDUP

MoM Hatty ‘THEDEFENDER’ Darling

DoD Sally Bradley

*The injury sustained was not actually purposeful or malicious, the ball came off the Dragon player’s own stick into her chin…. just sayin’…

 

04/02/17 Women's Blues 1-1 St Albans 2s | MoM Emily Thorpe

In a tribute to the sport’s quiz attended by the majority of the women’s blues on Friday night, it seems fitting that this week’s match report should also be in the style of a quiz. It also acts as a taster for the upcoming (hopefully!!) CUHC quiz; an event widely requested following the success of Friday night. Answers and summary at the bottom.

1)At the sport’s quiz, for the complete consumption of which desert component did Sheario initiate a game of fives, only to decide it was impossible for anyone to be able to eat it all?

a.The remaining chocolate brownies of her table and next door’s.

b.The chocolate sauce accompanying the brownies.

c.The copious amounts of leftover vanilla ice-cream.

2)The Blue’s have a history for car difficulties on away days (see the Ipswich Car Fire, the Norwich flat tyre and the almost empty tank), so whose car encountered problems this weekend?

a.Moore

b.Sal

c.Mol

3)Which piece of new Osprey’s stash was on display both late night and pre-match?

a.The classic grey sweatshirt

b.A rather nice jacket in the right shade of blue

c.The simple and understated beanie

4)What is the blues favourite pre-match stretch?

a.Lunge

b.Glute Activation

c.Hamstring

5)What passing was by far the slickest, quickest and most enjoyable to watch?

a.Cambridge’s

b.St Albans’s

c.The men’s game happening on the pitch next door

6)By what means did St. Albans take a lucky lead?

a.Tomahawk

b.Short Corner

c.Penalty Stroke

7)How many Cambridge players did it take to finally beat the St Albans’ keeper?

a.Just the one- a spectacular reverse shot from an impossible angle

b.Two-some ‘smooth’ passing between two forwards, eliminating the keeper

c.Four- as many as we seemed to have in the forward line at any one time

8)What was Craig’s lasting memory from the game (overhead when discussing MoM at match teas)?

a.Bev’s reverse stick shot

b.Sal, Em, Faye and (not forgetting!!!) Hannah Brown’s marauding midfield runs

c.The team’s calmness in the face of adversity

Summary (including answers).

After finishing large quantities of brownie and chocolate sauce on Friday night – the ice cream wasn’t quite managed (Q1 = c) – it wasn’t certain that the blues would be able to move on Saturday morning. This was certainly true of Sally’s car (Q2 = b) after she managed to run the battery down. However, Shears saved the day and we all arrived on time at St Alban’s to find that the new Osprey’s jackets (Q3 = b) were useful for insulation in the slightly cold changing rooms. After activating our glutes (Q4 = b) we hit the pitch, starting the match with high intensity. We played some beautifully flowing hockey in the first half (Q5 = a) but were unable to find the back of the net. We started the second half equally positively with the new press seeming to fall into place. However, we were unlucky when St Alban’s took the lead from the penalty sport (Q6 = c). We were undeterred and continued to push forward and finally managed to score through some good combination play between Le Bev (obviously!) and GBuzz (Q7 = b). We almost snatched a winner but Bev’s reverse stick shot soared over the crossbar (Q8 = a). Final score: 1-1. Mention must be made to Em (MoM) who patrolled the middle of the pitch extremely well and did a great job of directing the press.

MoM Emily Thorpe

DoD Clare Marsh a.k.a. The Sassy Fresher

 

28/01/17 Women's Blues 0-3 Maidstone 1s | MoM Harriet Moore

Having had our match called off last week, It seemed this Saturday wasn’t going to be our lucky day either. With a delayed push back due to head injuries, cards and keepers being sent off in the wandies match, it didn’t look all too promising.

Maidstone started with a little more flare than we remembered from playing them earlier on in the season, but thanks to the tactics session with Craig during the week getting our press sorted, we weren’t put onto the back foot. Sadly, with a few calls from the umps that didn’t seem to go our way, Maidstone soon converted a short corner into a goal.

The second half started much more promising with attack after attack after attack and it looked more like it was going to be our day. But, just as we started to look really dangerous, that’s when the cards came flying in. A questionable green for Em, followed 1 minute later by a questionable green for me. Maidstone with 11 on the pitch, Cambridge with 9. This didn’t phase us, but sadly that wasn’t all the cards just yet; a yellow for Hatty soon after (how is that possible when your names darling? Outrageous). A pretty frantic last few minutes of the game and sadly we couldn’t score the 4 goals we needed for a win.

MoM: Harriet Moore

DoD: Hattie Bevan

 

14/01/17 Women's Blues 2-0 Old Loughts 1s | MoM Emily Thorpe

On Saturday we played the return home leg against Old Loughts. Half way into the first half, we discovered their new goalkeeper was not as ninja as Captain Luce had led us to believe, and I accidentally scored a shgoal down the centre of the D from a short, narrowly missing the stationary goalkeepers left foot. A second goal came soon after when their keeper saved a shot on goal by kicking the ball to Sally who was waiting on the p-spot to slot it in the right hand corner #Cheers.  Half-time: 2-0. The second half saw more shots on goal, with Captain Faye following through into Captain Luce’s sister’s face once, but sadly no more goals. A solid team performance overall, but special mention for MoM, Emily, who won a whopping majority of 3 votes. We look forward to smashing Oxf*rd on Wednesday, this time hopefully with the aid of a coach.

Goal scorers: Bradley, Darling.

MoM: Emily Thorpe

DoD: Hatty Darling

 

3/12/16 Women's Blues 5-1 Norwich City 1s | MoM Faye Kidd

Following the biggest Christmas event in Cambridge (in terms of ‘units per minute’ (Arge)), the women’s blues tramped over to Norwich City for our last game of 2016 with a squad of 11 plus 1 v hungover Captain Luce.

Norwich City started with more flair and pace than we anticipated given their lowly table position (bottom), appearing to be the stronger side as we struggled to get our structure. Gradually, we got it together and the tables started to turn; following 4 rubbish short corners from Norwich, successfully defended by Freddie Briscuit and co., Padt broke away making a baseline drive Dr Big Al would be proud of, passing 90 to a waiting G Buzz who smashes the backboard. Half-time whistle goes: Uni 1 Norwich City 0 – ha.

The second half began with similar pace, but a lot more focus from us, with some quality play from both sides. Captain Commando had forecasted it right in her half-time chat, and the floodgates soon opened. After Freddie made some much-needed last ditch saves to keep our lead, Sally deflected the ball into the top left of the net from a short (good call Moore) to bring us 2-0 up. Some other things happened (general hockeyness), including some unnecessary shoving and bitchiness from the Norwich forwards, eventually leading to a scramble with the Norwich keeper and Sophia sneaking a goal in. At 3-0 up, Sally committed herself to the sesh.

Faye, who up until this point seemed to be everywhere on the pitch, now found herself at the top of the D, following some snazzy skills from a long corner. Going for glory, Faye made a strong reverse hit, which appeared to be going straight in the goal; Bevan couldn’t help herself though, and snaked a final touch before the ball crossed the line. Sorry Faye. 4-0.

We all thought it was pretty much over, but after a questionable short corner giveaway, Norwich stole Freddie’s clean sheet with a fast, hard hit from the top, lifting into the middle of the backboard in the left corner – a good goal. However, this was all Norwich would see of Freddo’s goal, and we maintained dominance to the end with Captain Luce out-skilling everyone again, winning another short corner. I scored a classic shgoal, and am now on a par with Shears’ goal count for the season so far woo (never mind the broken collar bone): Cambridge Uni 5 – Norwich City 1. A very well deserved score-line, everyone agreed.

In conclusion, Norwich City are mean, and we don’t like them.

Big thanks to the 3 skiers for splashing out extra for late flights for Varsity and bagging a goal each; thanks also to Sally and Faye for “being so selfless this season, and letting everyone else get the goals” instead of scoring yourself, and finally thanks to Mark number 2 for being a very chilled boyfriend: long live CUWHC hussies.

Goal scorers: Burrows, Bradley, Padt, Bevan, Darling

MoM: Faye Kidd (Captain Commando Kidd)

DoD: Harriet Moore #MooreMooreMoore (Hatty Darling made an escape once again, the snake)

 

27/11/16 Women's Blues 1-0 CUHC Christmas Dinner | MoM CUHC

To Come…

MoM: CUHC

DoD: Darling for not making it to the clooob

26/11/16 Women's Blues 1-1 Bromley & Beckenham 1s | MoM Hatty Darling

The women’s blues drew 1-1 with Brom and Beck’s. Although we played well it seemed it was just that time of the month for us and our shots didn’t seem to fit the bill, no matter which angle we went for. Nevertheless, we persisted and played on, despite the pain of not scoring that winning goal. As Rudders was telling us last week, we could do with pulling the ball out to the back 4 a bit more. Rather than pulling it out we got in a habit of pushing up with no final product in the final 3rd. As we found out, it’s all about choosing the right product.

Good things from the game: 

1. Mol scored a cracker of a strike from a shortie, “this ones for you grandad”.

2. Big Al’s drill was on point in both halves- circle penetration and lots of leading by forwards. Only running will take away the pain. No standing still.

3. Great communication by Freds and G Buz, setting up some lovely play.

4. Good 1-2’s lead to Sal’s cross into D which unfortunately went about 6 inches wide of the back post.. nearly a goal. Sal’s extra fitness round trinity lawns almost paying off.

5. Solid defending from back 4. Captain Luce and Mol dominating the lines and Moore’s nerves for the team settling down as her back 4 win back ball after ball. Well deserved MOM for Hat, if only ‘defending’ was a category in the Boyfriend book..

Less good things: 

1. Extremely annoying man shouting ‘BROOOOOOM BECK’ on loop for 70 mins

2. Not scoring despite efforts such as G Buz’s reverse shot , making the sis proud. Nearly there. Keep pushing.

3. Sal’s thieving (thank goodness the cross was found, we are redeemed)

4. Darling’s reversing and violence towards passengers

5. Bev’s bloody knee.. blood is not the one when it comes to hockey All in all, great performance from Women’s blues, given very tough circumstances and lateness ( apparently down to Padt Padt’s distractions/ Bev’s badgers).

Learning curves from the game: 

1. keep pushing ourselves

2. always turn up to hockey prepared

3. play through the pain

MoM Hatty Darling

DoD Faye Kidd

 

19/11/16 Women's Blues 2-1 Wisbech 1s | MoM Hattie Bevan

On a chilly chilly saturday lunchtime (less chilly than cam uni vs wisbech of earlier, ie non frozen pitch) we welcomed wisbech to wilby. A spirited warm up led to the start of the match. We were very good in first half but didn’t score. Bevs almost scored an epic reverse. Captain Luce made some impressive driving runs everywhere. Shears and her impressive orange coat provided excellent support from the bench. Eventually got our goals in the second half, having eaten half time jelly snakes and with the boys coming to watch. Nicely worked short corner routine (woop) led to a lovely deflection by G buzz. Soon after a foot on the line led to a flick, which Sal beautifully converted. This skilful slick shlick nestled in the goal much to our celebrations. The passionate support of the Wandies meant they were asked to stand on the other side of the fence. With the greater distance now enforced, their vocal support couldn’t drive us on, and we didn’t score again. A few odd moments at the end, the cool calm disciplined play escaped us and Wisbech snatched a goal back from a short corner deflection. But overall our dominance and ability held strong and we won. Untimely and late, but the match report is complete. 4th one of the season now I think, so i’m getting quicker at using words. Sadly my chat shows no sign of improvement. I wasn’t even dod this week.

MoM Hattie Bevan

DoD Emily Thorpe

 

12/11/16 Women's Blues 0-2 Ipswich 1s | MoM Sophia Padt

I would like to start this match report, by first signalling the injustice that has been set with me getting DoD. Captain Kidd, I am sorry but… are your initials really “YES”. INJUSTICE.

2016-11-07-photo-00001697

Secondly, I would like to talk a little bit hockey, we lost, 2-nil. The pitch sucked. The weather sucked. The zipcar on fire sucked. The no coach sucked. It all sucked. But, shout out to Sophia who actually had a great game, having been used to the Ipswich pitch (read: beach #Sandy) in her pre-CUHC years.

Thirdly, like all good match reports, I would like to talk about wednesday, my #Hatrick. In my opinion, this should have got me MoM. It all began at 2.30pm, when we played Cardiff 1s at home, as bottom of the table we were hoping for a win…. we drew. 1-1. Sh*t- mistake numero uno. Cardiff were ecstatic at their first point, and we, on the other hand were pissed off. So, naturally, to deal with my anger and disappointment I got rather bevved (c.f. snapchat story). It all began at pres in my bacherlorette pad at 8pm- the drinking jenga and zummie zummie games flowed, and most of us had to go for a cheeky sains run to top up alcohol supplies before hitting up Gardies- mistake numero dos. Once arriving at Gardies, the friendly swap with Titz hockey and Johns hockey commenced, seeing as I have enough mates already #Legend, myself and Rhi sat either-side of Jim (who coincidently also got DoD for his Wednesday antics) and proceeded to fine anyone who wasn’t CUHC at the swap #GreatChat… this then led to me being continuously fined for #ShitFines obviously – mistake numero tres. Then the swap ascended onto Cindies, apparently Franny Hamilton was on the door, who knew, but like the BNOC I am, I walked straight into cindies with a little helipad on my hand and then bought quite a few VKs, which I definitely did not need – mistake numero cuatro.

The majority of wednesday was kind of a blur, and like yesterday and wednesday’s match, has been forgotten- for good reasons. I propose to discontinue my strong form, and resign from the role of #Scorer and #SOTW.

Yours,

Sally, S-Dawg, Ladley.

MOM Sophia Padt

DOD Sally Bradley

 

5/11/16 Women's Blues 8-0 Holcombe 1as | MoM Sally Bradley

‘The Women’s blues successfully scored 8 goals against Holcombe because their manEger (Olivia Shears) is a king cobra who hypnotises her players’. Discuss the validity of this statement.

Introduction Ok.. need a snappy opening line.. Week 5 BLUES victory against Holcombe was not entirely down to Olivia Shears ‘hypnotic theory’ but also the efforts of her team of Blue Racer snakes. Nailed it. Now where to go from here..

Main argument:
1st half- No sign of Shears’ hypnotism yet, snakes rattle Holcombe but are slow to score. String of corners finally pay off when birthday legend Sal scores a cracking deflection. Blues go slithering ahead.  5 minutes to go and Ladely shed some more of her snaky skin by diving into the goal with the ball. What.a.lad.
During half time team talk Olivia Shears is looking quite ssssussspicious in her oversized coat, imaginary cap and chewing gum. Argue that it is possible that she may have hypnotised Sally into scoring another 2 goals immediately after whistle goes?
However, the role of the team and their sick passing and movement must not be understated along side Shears’ genius plan.

2nd half- Blue Racers start strong. 5 mins in Captain Luce has the ball. Captain grass snake felt like she needed to assert some authority over Captain Luce so gives some serious hissing to pass 90. Captain Luce decides to instead play a better ball to the P spot for a hypnotised Ladely to score a snaky first time slap. Classic Lucey Luce. This girl needs no hypnotism. Wait a minute.. that’s a good point. Luce hasn’t been off yet?? That makes sense. Sheario hasn’t been able to give her the snaky stare. Ahh yes. Should argue that Shears has hypnotised the snakes that she has been able to get hold of at the side.

Discuss- Therefore it is clearly a combination of shearious hypnotism and serious talent from the Blue Racers.. ok need to back this up with a few good examples. GCSE “PEE” over your essay style. Amirite? (stolen from Oldham’s Pavey, footnote, Facebook 2016).  Point- Shears is a cobra therefore has special hypnotic powers, I wonder if she speak parseltongue as well? possible theory for success. Note to self** ask the chosen one a.k.a Harriet Potter if she can understand Sheario’s parseltongue. Good convo started for Historical Argument and Practice class together on Monday. Hopefully Botters turns up too. Evidence- for what? Wait I’m lost.
Oh yes, the team playing well without shearious hypnotism. Hmm.. Hatty, Clare and Em feeding some lovely balls through to the forwards who are linking up nicely thanks to Big Al’s dextrous drills (top 4% of vocab, ask Em).
Expand- As a result of some lovely passing, the ball is transferred left to right and into the D. Ladely scores again, this time with a cheeky clip shot from the P spot. Unreal.
Soph then comes on from the bench to score a class dive deflection from Em’s deadly hit. Soph then fires in another goal moments later. Argue that this  proves that Sheario has been practicing hypnotism in the dug out. Captain Grass Snake, after clear hypnotising then comes on to score another deflection from Em. Sorrrrrry Shagger. There are echoes of Shears shouting Sssssseven from the dug out. Or maybe it was Len Goodman? Ok whoops back to the argument, dyspraxia is difficult.. BUT subbing/sheario’s hypnotic stare idea is class just need to communicate it well. Ok so Bevs and G Buz both come on and manEge to score an anti-goal between them. Surely this coming on and scoring thing proves the hypnotic theory? Especially if the anti-skill is taking over the game. However the work rate of the Blue Racers, particularly the fabulous five (Mol, Moore, Hat, Luce and Em) who didn’t actually come off and so couldn’t be subject to the manegEr’s hypnotism proves that it was a combination of the two factors. WHAT A DAY.

Conclusion: flight is about to take off. Read above.

MOM Sally Bradley

DOD Faye Kidd

 

29/10/16 Women's Blues 1-2 Bedford 1s | MoM Faye Kidd

This week the blues welcomed top-of-the-league Bedford 1s to Wilby, hoping to put out a strong performance with two losses behind them last season.  The game started well, with a cracking ball from Sal deflected in by Bevan on the left post. Cambridge kept up the pressure on the skilled Bedford side, with lots of possession in our attacking half, but sadly no more goals. Bedford managed to put two short corners away during the game and with several injuries in the second half it was a real fight till the last whistle. Lots of MoM nominations to reflect a fab team performance, but Faye clinched it after some great play-making both in the midfield and upfront. The score line didn’t go our way, but at 2-1 it was a big improvement on last seasons results, and a sign of positive things to come this year.

MoM Faye Kidd

DoD Hannah Brown

 

22/10/16 Women's Blues 1-1 Norwich Dragon 1s | MoM Lucia Corry

The average person can survive 3-5 days in the desert without water, and even less in extreme heat. The Bedouin may be accustomed to these kind of conditions (Bedouin means “desert dwellers” in Arabic), but the Women’s Blues were beginning to struggle in the drought this week.

If you can’t find water, Bear Grylls recommends using animal blood to stay hydrated. Bear advises trying to catch and behead a snake. But Captain Kidd was unimpressed by the idea of killing her own patronus (none other than a Grass Snake), so the Women’s Blues went searching for some larger reptiles. After two visits up to Trinity roof to survey the desert for potential sources of hydration, Sally (patronus: Magpie) concluded that they should probably journey to the Norwich Desert Plains, on the hunt for dragons.

Battling through difficult FM radio terrain and strong katabatic winds, the Blues managed to cross the dunes to the Dragon’s Den. Both teams came close to drawing blood, with Freddie (patronus: Buffalo) standing her ground as the Dragons went on the offensive. Impeded by a strong sandstorm after about 45 minutes, the Blues conceded a goal.

But surviving in the desert is as much a mental challenge as it is physical. The Blues kept their heads, and still thirsty for the goal, won a last minute short corner, from which Hatty (patronus: Hyena) scored.

Having been satisfied with drawing some dragon blood, the girls were able to continue their search for oases late into the night. Helped along the way by some well-cut tokens, a luge, and Calvin Harris and Rhianna, they located hydration of sorts. Perhaps not a watering hole, but a quite possibly an indication of an approaching rainy season. And when rain falls in deserts, it is often with great strength.

MOM Captain Lucy Luce (patronus: White Stallion)

DOD Shears (patronus: King Cobra)

 

15/10/16 Women's Blues 0-2 St Albans 2s | MoM Harriet Moore

The Womens blues sitting joint second in East Prem came into Saturday’s game confident, this was further encouraged after a win against Oxf*rd the Wednesday before and it being at the Wilberfortress. Last season, we beat St. Albans 2s twice. But we did not want to underestimate a team that we know is well established and experienced.

The first half started strong, with the blues all over STA dominating pressure and possession, but not being able to #FindTheGoal and convert any of our short corners or open play. Towards the end of the second half we lost Lucey Luce to shin splints, which gave Sal a stint in RB- interesting. We managed to hold on until half time where we could regroup and re-organise our structure.

We were playing well at the start of second half- again dominating the match, then Thorpedo got hit in her bad knee. Twice… Sal moved to CH and Marshmallow sat in RB, with the forwards doing shifts in the inner position we were a bit all over the place for around 10mins and STA capitalised on this and punished us, converting 2 of there <6 chances of the match.

The blues were looking down heartened after conceding two quick succession goals, but were brought to new life after the umpire reminded us there was still 19mins to go. We raised our game play, and stepped up, determined not to lose and to fight to the last whistle.

So the blues returned to their dominating form once again, with some great disguised balls from Hatty Darling at the back and some class defending by Harriet Moore (who deservedly got MoM) we were almost exclusively in the STA half for the rest of the game. We won short corner after short corner, and still somehow managed to not convert. With the final push, and with only two mins to go, we gave it all, but unfortunately to little avail. The final whistle blew, and it was done. STA coming away with a lucky 3 points, and a 2nil win. CUHC feeling down. There was very little wrong with our game, beyond the inability to score- and we will be sure that when the away fixture comes, we will get what we deserved- the 3 points from STA.

MoM Harriet Moore

DoD Ladley

 

08/10/16 Women's Blues 1-0 Maidstone 1s | MoM Sally Bradley

This Saturday the Blues endured a long drive to Maidssstone Hockey Club and despite having OD’d on rocky roads; we were hungry for a win. The first half saw a high tempo from both teams. Hatty’s feeding through to the attack devastated Maidstone’s press and despite some determined running from the forwards, we often fell just short. Even with a fair few penalties corners against us, our defence failed to be rattled, denying the opposition a goal. It was a similar start to the second half, though through dogged determination the Blues were able to snake in a goal, with a cracking in-air deflection from LeBev. We saved the best til last, displaying total control of the game within the final ten minutes. Despite hissy fits from the opposition, we kept our composure and yet more athletic saves from Fred assured the Blues a clean sheet. Special mentions to Clare for doing a fab job in centre midfield in Em’s absence and Sally for her mazy runs, genuinely impressive aerials and the speed with which she got us there. Also a final shout out to Molly’s mum for her fantastic support and her cool trousers.

MoM Sally Bradley

DoD Lucia Corry

 

01/10/16 Women's Blues 2-3 Wapping 1s | MoM Emily Thorpe

Cambridge welcomed Wapping HC to Wilby and were hoping to maintain their strong start to the season. The match started at a high tempo with Wapping high press forcing our defence into some strong tackles and patient passing to break through. The Wapping forwards were no couch potatoes, leaving our defensive unit roasting by half time. Unfortunately Wapping managed to break the deadlock shortly before half time and then added to this with a smart short corner, leaving us down 2-0. A solid half time chat re-energised the team, with the team starting the second half strongly. The strong passing and excellent movement in the centre by Thorpe led to many more attacking chances. We were awarded a short corner, with a s-mashing ball from Mol finding Sophia to deflect it beyond the keeper’s reach. Motivated by the goal, Cambridge continued to press and Georgie Burrows was on hand to chip in a goal with a skillful deflection, bringing the teams level. A nervy last 10 mins followed, and Wapping managed to sneak a goal in. We continued to attack and push forward but Wapping’s defence held firm, meaning that we were unfortunate to come away with a 3-2 loss.

MOM Emily Thorpe

DOD Freddie

 

24/09/16 Women's Blues 2-0 Old Loughtonians 1s | MoM Lucia Corry

This Saturday the blues hit the smurf turf to take on Old Loughts on their deceptively terrible pitch. This time we didn’t let the slow pitch snake us, apparently, leaving with a 2-0 win. The first goal came from Molly, who may or may not have hit it inside the D, and the second from Georgie Burrows allegedly. There are claims that Sally set everything up but graciously let the others nab a spot on the score sheet, although these claims come from Sally, who professes to have “had a stormer”. Captain Luce may have had cracking game too, since it appears she was voted MoM (sorry Sal) and it’s rumoured we’ve finally nailed our press, though it’s all heresay since I wasn’t actually there.  Cheers guys.

MoM: Captain Luce
Dod: Hatty

Scorers: Burrows and Buxton.

 

17/09/16 Women's Blues 3-1 Norwich City | MoM Emily Thorpe

The Blues had a glorious start to the season. Our intense preseason regiment meant some of the team pulled some gluteus maximus. Emily managed to beat the entire team on skills but Captain Faye sadly missed an open goal… Nevertheless Sophia and Molly scored a cracking goal to equalise the first Norwich City shgoal. Freddie made some great saves despite a few unnerving moments from the defence and the girls came away with a 3-1 win; a great start to a promising season. Congrats to debutants Clare Marsh and Rhiannon Osbourne. Long live Captain Kidd #eatpraylove

MOM Emily Thorpe

DOD Freddie

 

2015/16
2015/16 Results

//to be done

Date Match type Opposition Venue PB Time Score
20/09/14 League St. Ives 1 H 1200 W 5-1
22/09/14 Friendly Leeds Beckett University A 1830 D 1-1
23/09/14 Friendly Leeds Hockey Club A 1800 W 3-1
24/09/14 Friendly Leeds University A 1230 L 1-4
27/09/14 League Blueharts 1 A 1330 D 1-1
04/10/14 League Bedford 2 A 1100 D 2-2
11/10/14 League Cambridge City 2 H 1200 D 2-2
15/10/14 BUCS League Loughborough University 2 A 1700 W 3-0
18/10/14 League Bury St. Edmunds 1 A 1300 D 2-2
22/10/14 BUCS League University of Nottingham 2 H 1630 W 2-0
25/10/14 League Lincoln 1 H 1200 W 2-0
29/10/14 BUCS League Nottingham Trent University 1 A 1630 L 0-2
01/11/14 League North Norfolk 1 A 1300 W 5-0
05/11/14 BUCS League University of Birmingham 3 H 1430 W 4-0
08/11/14 League Dereham 1 H 1200 W 3-1
12/11/14 BUCS League University of Birmingham 2 H 1630 W 5-1
15/11/14 League Watton 1 A 1300 W 5-1
19/11/14 BUCS League Loughborough University 2 H 1430 W 5-1
22/11/14 League Wisbech Town 1 H 1200 D 1-1
26/11/14 BUCS Cup Canterbury Christ Church University 1 H 1630 W 10-0
29/11/14 League Letchworth 1 A 1430 W 5-1
03/12/14 BUCS League University of Nottingham 2 A 1430 W 3-2
06/12/14 League St. Ives 1 A 1400 W 4-1
17/01/15 League Bedford 2 H 1200 Postponed
24/01/15 League Cambridge City 2 A 1230 W 3-2
25/01/14 League Blueharts 1 H 1300 W 2-1
28/02/14 BUCS League Nottingham Trent University 1 H 1630 W 7-0
31/01/15 League Bury St. Edmunds 1 H 1200 Postponed
04/02/14 BUCS League University of Birmingham 3 A W 3-0
07/02/15 League Lincoln 1 A 1200 W 3-0
14/02/15 League North Norfolk 1 H 1200 W 7-3
18/02/15 BUCS Cup University of Birmingham 3 H W 3-2
21/02/15 League Bedford 2 H W 5-1
25/02/15 BUCS Cup Exeter University 2 A W 3-0
26/02/15 League Bury St. Edmund’s H W 6-0
28/02/15 League Dereham 1 A 1330 W 2-1
04/03/14 BUCS League University of Birmingham 2 A 1415 L 1-2
07/03/15 League Watton 1 H 1200 W 11-1
08/03/15 VARSITY Oxford W 2-1
14/03/15 League Wisbech Town 1 A 1300 W 4-1
21/03/15 League Letchworth 1 H 1200
25/03/15 BUCS Cup University of Edinburgh 1 Loughborough 1000 L 0-2
22/04/15 BUCS Promotion Playoff Kings College London 1 H

 

2015/16 Match Reports
27/02/16 Women's Blues 3-2 Broxbourne MOM Faye Kidd

There was some hockey played, the pitch was pretty bouncy, they scored 2, we scored 3, so we won. Was a pretty scrappy game, with a few cards… But enough of that, instead, I will talk about what would happen if the women’s blues had a free for all.

On Saturday 27th February 2016, the women’s blues discovered some shocking news, our resident spy, Bond, has a brown belt in Judo. To our shock, she would technically be higher than what the uni team is trying to get for blues standard…at the age of 14…outrageous. Hence, the idea of a free-for-all came to be. Initially, we all backed Bill, after her time in the cell, she’s as tough as nails, however captain Charlotte pointed out, floor her, and she’s a goner. Next to be scrutinised was big Al, the master of all, would prob give us all a run for our money. Another dark horse, T, whose fitness would mean she could just keep on the defense until her opponent lost stamina then strike them down, however this wouldn’t be a match for judo master Bond. Weakest of the team was decided to be Miss Mullans, the poor PGCE fresh would not hold her ground, would get surrounded by the undergrad freshers and beaten. Finally, T brought up Sal, scarily small, and pretty strong.  Would probably be the last standing with big Al and judo master 007… The result at which Al and Sal would use their common hate of foreign spies, to take down Bond, before squaring up to each other, pausing, then calling it a tie, as we all know, Brazil has no shit with Australia.

MOM Kidd

DOD Bradley

 

25/11/15 Women's Blues 6-0 Reading University 1s (BUCS Cup)

The Blues began their Cup campaign at home vs Reading. Cambridge dominated the possession from the beginning, linking play throughout the pitch. Good coordination and leading between the forwards, combined with a strong presence in the D quickly led to a goal for Cambridge in the first 10 minutes. Cambridge maintained their form throughout, scoring in open play and from short corners, resulting in a final score of 6-0. Scorers: Faye Kidd (3), Claire Bond (2) and Sophia Padt.

MOM: Lucia Corry.

 

21/11/15 Women's Blues 7-0 Dereham 1s

The womens blues were set to face Dereham in the freezing cold at home last Saturday, and were pleasantly surprised that the opposition wasn’t as aggressive as expected. Right from the start, Cambridge dominated, maintaining most of the play in Dereham’s half. The goals came quickly, with Sally on every rebound – knocking in a cheeky 4 goals, followed by Sophia and Bondy with 1 more each. The finale came from Hatty, who scored a decidedly average goal from a slap at the top of the D on a short corner. Not bad for a defender. Following a quiet 70 minutes, keeper Freddie was on the verge of hypothermia, and close to running out of things to shout down the pitch. Overall, a solid performance from all, with plenty of successful attacking play. Goal scorers – Sally (4), Sophia, Bondy, Hatty

MOM: Bondy

DOD: Hatty

 

14/11/15 Women's Blues 1-2 Old Loughtonians 1s

It was a very wet day. We thought the other team and the pitch were quite nice. We were wrong. The match started with Old Loughts scoring 2 goals in the first 20 minutes. They were very strong on the break. We ended the first half well and were feeling pumped for the second half. After 3 short corners Lily scored, in the corner. We had a wave of chances after that but it just wasn’t our day to convert. Al got hit in the knee and MOM T drove home in her van, this time with pals. It was a disappointing game. Next week we will do better. I will never write a poem again.

MOM T De Souza

DOD Faye Kidd

 

07/11/15 Women's Blues 3-1 Broxbourne 1s

The Women’s Blues didn’t start the game too strongly, with many balls going loose and bouncing off-sticks. This let the opposition into the game and neither team kept much possession in the first 15 minutes. Things did start to settle down, however, and the Blues got a run of attacking play but the chances went begging. Slowly Cambridge asserted their dominance and put more pressure on Broxbourne leading to a couple of short corners. But it was Lily Elliott who eventually broke the deadlock, walking the ball into the D and slotting home from close range.

After half time the Women’s Blues came out much more lively. The second goal came quickly from an attacking run down the right-hand-side by Hatty Darling who crossed it in to Bondy on the P-spot to put away. Soon afterwards the Blues were in their 25 again and made it 3-0 from a well worked short corner – Burrows the scorer.

With under 10 minutes of the second half played, Bondy took a stick to the face, splitting her top lip open. Luckly the opposition came equipped with an A&E doctor who patched me up and Lauren was on hand to take me to Addies. Just as we were leaving, Broxbourne got a goal back and I feared there would be a come back.

The rest of the details of this match come from second hand messages received whilst being stitched. Gladly the girls kept the score as it was to finish with a 3-1 win but Burrows received yet another yellow card and thought she would get a ban. Apparently, however, the new rules means we will have to wait until next week for her to get this.

MOM Freddie Briscoe

DOD Bondy

 

04/11/15 Women's Blues 11-0 University of Kent

The women’s blues faced University of Kent at home in their 3rd BUCS game of the season. Cambridge scored early on, and the goals just kept coming. One of these marked a momentous milestone for T, fifth year and former blues captain, who finally gained her first goal for CUHC in 5 years – cue MOM (and DOD). Keeper Freddie enjoyed a relaxed 70 minutes from the back, not touching the ball once throughout the game. All in all it was a successful day, culminating in a 11-0 win to mark the big 21 for Sally Bradley.

Scorers: Faye Kidd (2), Sally Bradley, Claire Bond (3), Therese de Souza, Charlotte Burrows (2), Sophia Padt (2)

 

31/10/15 Women's Blues 1-1 West Herts 1s

To everyone’s surprise slow coach Bondy arrived first to the Blues away match which was at the newly done up West Herts club. The girls were pumped up, ready for tough battle against the top of the league.

Toynton arrived just in time for match wearing the All Blacks kit – think she forgot she had to play hockey before the watching the rugby match later.

The Women’s Blues started the match well, with lots of attacking pressure and within 10mins were awarded a flick which flew just past the post. Momentum continued and the Blues had several more chances and some short corners, but at half time the score was still level at 0-0.

West Herts came out much stronger in the second half but the Blues matched them and went 1-0 up early on thanks to Ladley’s quick reactions after Faye’s hit rebounded off the post. After this possession moved more to West Herts as they fought back and had several chances resulting in a few close calls at the near post. With the play moving from ends to end the game was getting very close and West Herts were rewarded for their efforts with a short corner conversion.

The Blues pushed back looking for a winner but couldn’t find it in time. Final whistle 1-1. A good result for the Women’s blues who are the first team to take points off west Herts – a sign they should be a team to watch.

MOM: Al M and Burrows

DOD: Bond and Toynton

 

24/10/15 Women's Blues 1-0 Maidstone 1s

The women’s blues set out with determination searching for the win they so desperately deserve and need after the last few games not going their way, results wise.

Maidstone were expecting to come out with a comfortable win sitting pretty in third, however the blues did not give them any chance to even settle, coming out strong and scoring a goal in the first 10 minutes, from a well worked open play resulting with Wilson slotting the ball in the goal, under the keeper’s body.

The remainder of the game was dominated by Cambridge with a lot of pressure put on the backs resulting in break away counter attacks. As well as a few missed opportunities and shorts not being converted (seems to be the story of our season so far). However, we held on, defending 3 shorts in a row, and when the final whistle blew, the blues celebrated the 1 nil win and the 3 points to set them in good stead to take on leaders west Herts next week. Bring it on.

MOM: Thorpedo and Hatty

DOD: Ladley

 

17/10/15 Women's Blues 1-3 Norwich Dragons 1s

The match kicked off with the Blues is high spirits to secure a win, after a positive warm-up, music playing, a short ball game and snappy skills session they were ready. But so were Dragons. Dragons brought fire, they brought skills with their 107 dominating the midfield and they seemed to have luck on their side. The first half was not the Blues usual slick passing with fierce forward momentum; the team worked hard to break down their play down the middle and get their movement back. At half-time the score line of 2-0 to Dragons did not reflect the hard work that was being put in by the Blues and the half time talk shook the girls back into the game. Cambridge fought back hard in the second half, and despite Dragons managing to slip a lucky goal passed the Blues very early on, the girls didn’t stop there. Midway through the second half Burrows secured the Blues a penalty flick which Sally comfortably scored. The last fifteen minutes brought unbelievable movement by the Blues, thoroughly shaking the Dragons up. A strike by Beej, narrowly missing the goal, hitting the post and being cleared by Dragons. It didn’t end there! The ball came flying into the D when Faye and a Dragon tussled to get to it first, it deflected off a stick and the Blues were ecstatic!!! Unfortunately, due to the uncertainty of whose stick it came off the goal was disallowed. The Blues fought right through to the end but despite the great work to obtain many short corners it just wasn’t the day for it.

MOM Beej

DOD Sophie Mullan

 

10/10/15 Women's Blues 0-1 Brom & Becks 1s

It would be fair to say that we were robbed of a win as the Blues played away at Brom and Becks on Saturday. The first half saw some lovely hockey from Cambridge maintaining almost all possession but failing to put the ball away. A number of cards were awarded, as is becoming a common affair for Captain Lottie, with Durrans taking the token yellow for the game. Faye in particular played very well, earning herself MoM (suggestions this was linked to the presence of the boyfriend are yet unconfirmed but a correlation is likely).

Although Brom and Becks stole the game from us, their showers were swanky and teas were enjoyable, providing us with chicken drumsticks and pasta, a pleasant change from the standard baked potato.

To quote the opposition “The best team we have played all year”.

MOM Faye Kidd

DOD Harriet Moore

 

03/10/15 Women's Blues 2-5 Bedford 1s

No match report

 

26/09/15 Women's Blues 2-0 Harleston Magpies 2s

Day 2 of east prem, and the womens blues were away to Harleston Magpies, with the momentum from their first game, the girls were hungry for a second win.

We started the game pretty slowly, getting used to the moor of a pitch, which even without falling over seemed to leave us all wet through. The first half was pretty gritty, with a lot of play in their half but little conversion, the few short corners were also unsucessful. After tirelessly attacking their 25 we eventually broke through and a shot from Charlotte Burrows was cleared by harleston defense straight to Sally Bradley at the top of the D, one touch strike left us 1 nil up.

Half time whistle blew, and with some tired legs we were thankful for the break and time to regroup.

Second half, we came out strong, dominating the game, with Harleston barely getting a whiff at our D, some incredible play starting from the back hit Sophie Mullen, debuting in centre half for CUHC who selflessly laid a sleek pass left to Faye in the D, who smashed it into the back of the net- 2 nil light blues.

The last 15 mins was gritty, with a lot of ‘ping-pong’ hockey and the midfields working tirelessly, with a few more chances for us, Harleston were pressurising us and making the most of the knowledge of the pitch catching us with counter attacks and interceptions, and after about 3/4 short corners in a row against us, and some possibly questionable decisions they finally converted on with 3 mins to go.

However, with some strong mentality we held on to win 2-1 as the whistle blew and we all could breathe again!

MOM: Freddie Briscoe

DOD: Ladley

 

2014/15
2014/15 Results
Date Match type Opposition Venue PB Time Score
20/09/14 League St. Ives 1 H 1200 W 5-1
22/09/14 Friendly Leeds Beckett University A 1830 D 1-1
23/09/14 Friendly Leeds Hockey Club A 1800 W 3-1
24/09/14 Friendly Leeds University A 1230 L 1-4
27/09/14 League Blueharts 1 A 1330 D 1-1
04/10/14 League Bedford 2 A 1100 D 2-2
11/10/14 League Cambridge City 2 H 1200 D 2-2
15/10/14 BUCS League Loughborough University 2 A 1700 W 3-0
18/10/14 League Bury St. Edmunds 1 A 1300 D 2-2
22/10/14 BUCS League University of Nottingham 2 H 1630 W 2-0
25/10/14 League Lincoln 1 H 1200 W 2-0
29/10/14 BUCS League Nottingham Trent University 1 A 1630 L 0-2
01/11/14 League North Norfolk 1 A 1300 W 5-0
05/11/14 BUCS League University of Birmingham 3 H 1430 W 4-0
08/11/14 League Dereham 1 H 1200 W 3-1
12/11/14 BUCS League University of Birmingham 2 H 1630 W 5-1
15/11/14 League Watton 1 A 1300 W 5-1
19/11/14 BUCS League Loughborough University 2 H 1430 W 5-1
22/11/14 League Wisbech Town 1 H 1200 D 1-1
26/11/14 BUCS Cup Canterbury Christ Church University 1 H 1630 W 10-0
29/11/14 League Letchworth 1 A 1430 W 5-1
03/12/14 BUCS League University of Nottingham 2 A 1430 W 3-2
06/12/14 League St. Ives 1 A 1400 W 4-1
17/01/15 League Bedford 2 H 1200 Postponed
24/01/15 League Cambridge City 2 A 1230 W 3-2
25/01/14 League Blueharts 1 H 1300 W 2-1
28/02/14 BUCS League Nottingham Trent University 1 H 1630 W 7-0
31/01/15 League Bury St. Edmunds 1 H 1200 Postponed
04/02/14 BUCS League University of Birmingham 3 A W 3-0
07/02/15 League Lincoln 1 A 1200 W 3-0
14/02/15 League North Norfolk 1 H 1200 W 7-3
18/02/15 BUCS Cup University of Birmingham 3 H W 3-2
21/02/15 League Bedford 2 H W 5-1
25/02/15 BUCS Cup Exeter University 2 A W 3-0
26/02/15 League Bury St. Edmund’s H W 6-0
28/02/15 League Dereham 1 A 1330 W 2-1
04/03/14 BUCS League University of Birmingham 2 A 1415 L 1-2
07/03/15 League Watton 1 H 1200 W 11-1
08/03/15 VARSITY Oxford W 2-1
14/03/15 League Wisbech Town 1 A 1300 W 4-1
21/03/15 League Letchworth 1 H 1200
25/03/15 BUCS Cup University of Edinburgh 1 Loughborough 1000 L 0-2
22/04/15 BUCS Promotion Playoff Kings College London 1 H

 

2014/15 Match Reports
28/02/15 Women's Blues 2-1 Dereham 1s

After a long drive through the country side the women’s blues arrived at the home turf of league leaders Derehem. A very high press put the defence on the back foot but we kept them at bay and some beautiful link up lead to a smashing top-D shot from Faye which flew past the keeper and into the net. 1-0 Cambridge. Paz was then taken out the game by injury but thorpedo stepped into the back line and kept her cool at the back, resulting in her being a top contender for MoM. A fantastic deflection from Dereham soon put them back in the game and the pressure rose. The light blues started to loose their heads. Nothing was stopping us though and Sal got the ball from thorpedo  – another stunning baseline drive and slip back into the p-spot, this time it was Frosty at the ready to make it 2-1 Cambridge.

A strong half time talk from T and Az fired up the team to go out there fighting. Unfortunately the odds were not in our favour and a flick was awarded to the opposition. But nothing gets past Josephine. A lot of short corners later and the defense keeping Dereham out time and time again, the very gritty game was over. 2-1 to Cambridge, league leaders. MoM: Josephine for her fantastic saves. DoD: Paz…. For baking cookies for those who made the effort to come to Hometon for the drive to the match – not up to the usual DoD stories this week, drinking ban must be having an effect on the blues banter.

MOM: Josephine S-W

DOD: Clare Parrish

 

7/02/15 Women's Blues 3-0 Lincoln 1s

The writing of this match report follows DoD being awarded to Wilson, in an apparently quiet week for the other blues, as a result of fairly underwhelming antics and an attempt to revert to her former defensive roots in our own attacking D. This weekend, the women’s blues made the trek to Lincoln to face an opposition who sit one below them in the table, making this an important game to maintain position. The long journey was evident for the light blues in the first 10 minutes with neither side managing to maintain possession for more than a few passes. But the blues clearly became the more dominant side with both short balls, and long balls well picked from the back, going stick to stick. Burrows then won a short corner and it was subsequently converted through the classic Utah move. Burrows made further impact in the attacking line, only to be denied twice by the post. Other goals came from Murphy, whose hard push pass to the post actually managed to outwit the keeper and hit the backboard. The final goal came from Bond’s selfless pass in the D, around the keeper, to the well- positioned Kidd who walked it over the line. Mention must also go to the whole backline (+ de Souza) who were voted joint MoM, and, in classic CUHC style, a game of fives ultimately meant MoM was awarded to Marshall.

MOM: Rozzie Marshall

DOD: Rebecca Wilson

 

29/11/14 Women's Blues 5-1 Letchworth 1s

Women’s Blues travelled away to play Letchworth. Despite their position in the table, they still proved to be a strong side. Cambridge maintained early possession with strong transfers in the back four and improved links between forwards and inners. In an unidentified order, Cambridge scored 4 goals with the solitary reply of one from Letchworth. Shears scored a deflection from a Murphy strike. Bond scored from the breakdown of a  short corner. Kidd, from the penalty spot, scored after the ball was pulled back from the baseline. Burrows started her goal campaign with a straight strike from the top of the D straight into the backboard. Subsequently, she tapped a ball, which had been previously fumbled, into the bottom corner. Wilson then decided that Burrows had shown enough flair in the game, deflecting her cracking reverse stick shot which was headed for the top corner off the back line and thus denying Burrows her hatrick. This didn’t however deny Burrows being awarded MoM. DoD was awarded to Wilson, despite having had her quietest week for a while, for various exploits which had, as yet, gone “unpunished”. Final score: Cambridge 5-1 Letchworth. #favouritescore #foundthegoalalot

MOM: Charlotte Burrows

DOD: Rebecca Wilson

 

22/11/14 Women's Blues 1-1 Wisbech Town 1s

After watching the beds absolutely smash their game the women’s blues were raring to go and ready to up the cuhc goal count for the day. We started well with lots of possession but struggled to get the outcomes we needed. Wisbech took the first goal off a short corner beautifully deflected by Paz for her first goal of the season, unfortunately it was for the wrong side. We bounced back and saw some great leading from the forwards but got stuck in corners and couldn’t find the goal. Half-time was blown and the score was still 1-0, wilberfortress’s goal difference for the day wasn’t looking good considering the high it had been.

With wise words from Az, T and members of their chosen squad for the day we regrouped over a rogue sweet selection. Starting with a Big10 and picking up the chat we were on top of them and we found many shorts but no conversions. Finally a shot from Bondy at the top of D was successfully topped and flew towards the post at waist height. Some beautiful baseball skills were shown by Faye and her mid air deflection have us the equaliser. Thinking back to our what if sessions we kept possession well with a few mistakes leaving us under pressure at the back. We kept composure acros the whole pitch and played some well thought out set plays but were unable to find the goal for a second time and the score was 1-1 at the final whistle. MoM: Faye, DoD: Paz

MOM: Faye Kidd

DOD: Clare Parrish

 

8/11/14 Women's Blues 3-0 Dereham 1s

#Hockeyheadspayoff

Burrows’ match report and rhymes,

have inspired this fresher’s soul,

off the pitch she spikes my wine,

and on the pitch she gets the goals..

So I thought it’d be only fair,

to carry on her theme this week,

and write a poem about the match,

the mighty blues were at their peak!

Great tackling, pressing and passing,

5 corners later and we convert,

With Ciaran’s darling near the D,

Scoring seems to be a cert.

Next shot was made by Thorpedo,

who slipped it cooly in the net,

Great tackling from Sarah Brodrick,

Who’s “smiley face” we’ll not forget

Smashing saves from a mystery magdalene girl,

And a solid effort by our back 4,

Meant we kept in lead securely,

With Burrows firing in one more

Second half, Derehem came out fighting,

But our work rate didn’t slip,

T was outstanding from the middle,

Fed the ball like a cheesy chip

Derehem offensives looked quite threatening,

But there was no getting past the blues,

Hence when the full time whistle went,

Twas only fair that they should lose

Celebrations commenced at Selwyn,

were Shingles couldn’t hack the pace,

the antibiotics mixed with vodka

and a lambrinied, sticky face

After a sweet performance from Sally,

the day after she seemed quite down..

Is a Tiger onesie for brunch ok?

Or less subtle, a dressing gown?

Beej had successes with a sofa,

Captain therese was on top form,

Bondy’s poll dancing in spoons,

is becoming quite the norm.

Overall it was a fine team effort,

By our defence and lethal attack,

3 more points and a wilby sunset,

Blues hockey’s a lot of craic!

MOM: T De Souza

DOD: Faye Kidd (shingles)

1/11/14 Women's Blues 5-0 North Norfolk 1s

This weekend saw the hunnies travelling far way from their hive to take on the less than buzzing North Norfolk. As ever keen to support seaside towns and wanting to broaden their horizons to new lands the blues delighted in the 3 hour trek. With concerns over the ever increasing rivalry of the ‘bantabus’ and ‘le wagon’ players were carefully distributed throughout the neutral ‘zipcars’. Some confusion lay on arrival if we had mistakenly arrived on the beach, but, it was in fact the astro. With a match akin to lazy day in the sun, high fantasy points were on offer.

A high contrast to BUCS, the opposition were less than dynamic and the blues dominated throughout, camping in the North Norfolk half. A strong goalie and physical sturdy bodies in the Norfolk defence made them hard to initially break down. However, the blues switched their #hockeyheads on and the goals eventually came. The infamous shagger opened the scoring early (classic) with a power shot from the top of the D. Good inter-play around the 25 gave Bondy space to strike and she took her opportunity well. This was followed on by fizzy shortly afterwards netting another class goal. Good determination and fight saw Ladley grab another taking the blues to 4-0 up at half time.

The second half saw blues playing some controlled possession hockey switching the play through Terry. With the back four (Roz, Paz, Sarah and Hettie) stepping up the blues showed their strength and overpowering fitness. The opposition ‘big hitter’ proved the major upset to the blues supremacy, injuring much of the team. However, with calls from the umpire for T to man up the game went on with minimal hiccups. A text book short corner routine saw Burrows on the score card. Unfortunately Beej couldn’t take advantage in the change to lesser heights (ayyy) despite coming close on several occasions.

Special mention MOM Thorpedo for never failing to score and Bondy for giving it her all in these last few matches before her maternity break.

MOM – Claire Bond/Emily Thorpe

DOD – Charlotte Burrows

 

25/10/14 Women's Blues 2-0 Lincoln 1s

Hey there Lincoln, what’s it like at Wilbyfortruss,

We’re a hundred miles away,

But girls today you look quite slow, yes you do

Our hockey flair will dazzle you, I swear it’s true

Hey there defence, what you think of all our transfers,

You were solid at the back and Vicky hardly had to be there, but she was

Sarah had a stormer, she’s the bomb,

And she got mom

Ohhhh we passed it round the back,

Ohhhh we didn’t let it slack,

Ohhhh we started to attack,

Ohhhh their team began to crack,

Their team began to crack.

Hey there midfield, I know the game was pretty fast

But just believe me girls, you played with skill, they didn’t get it past

Em even dived, you’ll reach them next time don’t you fret,

It’s in the net.

Hey there forwards, our play was pretty class

If every baseline lead we made today

Would make it to the net, we’d have it all

Even more goals we have install, let’s get the ball

Ohhhh then bondy scored a goal,

Ohhhh the blues kept control,

Ohhhh the team played as a whole,

Ohhhh Iz scored the second goal

Our drawing run was pretty sad, but now we’ve won and boy we’re glad,

We’ll keep this up now we know the way

Our friends will all be proud of us and we’ll just smile along because,

We know we played with class and flair today

Licoln I can promise you

The second time that we play you,

The league will never ever be the same,

And we’re to blame

Hey there Blues, you be proud and don’t forget this,

Few more games like this we’ll have it all

And we’ll be making history, like we do

We are the lighter shade Blue,

We can beat whoever we want to

Hey there Blues here’s to you,

This one’s for you

Ohhhh this is how we win the league

Ohhhh this is how we win the league

Ohhhh this is how we win the league

Ohhhh this is how we win the league

How we win the league!

MOM – Sarah Broderick

DOD – Claire Bond

 

18/10/14 Women's Blues 2-2 Bury St Edmunds 1s
Left Wilberforce road at 11am, took the A14 to Bury St Edmunds. Got lost in Newton Nature Reserve trying to find the pitch. Lynn had issues with her kit so wore shorts which came down to her knees. The other team was average. We went one goal down, then rescued it. Burrows hit the ball into the D and Sally deflected it into the goal. 1 all at half time. We played better in 2nd half. With 75% of possession. Went 2-1 up with another goal from Sally. With 5 minutes to go, one of their oversized players took out Parrish. They scored off a short corner. We drew. Tea’s were adequate

MOM – Hettie Cust

DOD – Lyn

 

11/10/14 Women's Blues 2-2 Cambridge City 2s

In a surprising turn of events, Becky and Ladley were named double double DoDs. As with last week, #antics were seemingly high and our places in the CUHC fantasy league are now potentially at risk due to off field exploits. In addition to this, logical Lynn also pointed out that 2 squared is four- apparently this meant 4 DoD pints (although these were potentially unconsumed at the time of writing). More off field exploits this week, too shameful to name at such an early point in term, meant that a certain member of the team, known only by the name of “bettie”, should have lost an undisclosed amount of eyebrow, but it seems that this punishment was not to be.
On a more serious note, the blues came across their Derby rivals, Cambridge City(2’s) at the Wilberfortress this week. The light blues started in control, despite some dubious tackles which were lucky not to be more severely punished. This early pressure was converted into a corner well won and finished with a top D strike by Murphy. As seems to have been the case recently, Cambridge uni let the opposition back into the game with a fairly underwhelming goal. Things seemed to be a little frantic around half time- possession was lost too easily into the flat sticks of Cambridge City and attempts to play the short ball were lacking. However, good periods of passing play at times showed that the uni side were dominant. After half time, not much happened beyond our complete dominance, we were winning 2-1 after some good play and a short converted by burrows 15 mins in… This was short lived though as a shocking turn of events left the ball in the back of Salt’s net, 2-2. Last 5/10 Cambridge gave it all, with many quality saves by the cam city keeper,  and Thorpe absorbing pressure well to continue to play the good line balls to satisfy the forwards’ leads to earn her MoM. The final whistle blew, leaving the hunnies once again baffled at a draw instead of the deserved 3 points. With this being the third draw in the row, we will be hungry to win and assert our well deserved dominance in this league next week #hockeyheads #onlyupwards #bleedlightblue

MOM – Emily Thorpe

DOD – Rebecca Wilson/Sally Bradley

 

04/10/14 Women's Blues 2-2 Bedford 2s

After confirming the whereabouts of our missing person, Becky Wilson, as well as locating a rather dubiously situated Sally Bradley after what can only be described as a night of #antics, the women’s Blues were headed to play top of the table Bedford. With the #bantabus back In business, T’s request for hockey heads was fulfilled as Cambridge were able to go one up after some silky skills from Burrows who made the defender look like “a cone” (Rais, 2014). Miscommunication lead to a scrappy short, allowing Bedford back into the game. Cambridge looked for a big 10 and thought about “What If” to see in the first half and regather at the break.

Going into the second half, Cambridge came out in full force, with all the momentum and the hunger for the three pouts which they deserved. Bedford were on the back foot with their poor attempts to play the long ball – a stark comparison to Cambridge’s on point short game. Sally broke away in centre of the park, driving into the D to slip a cheeky pass left for Frostie to fire into the back of the net to put the light blues 2-1 up. With just over half the 35 to go, Cambridge were holding their hockey heads as the rain continued to thunder down. Bedford got lucky in the last 3, securing a short corner that was well defended by Cambridge. A misplaced pass from the back saw Bedford capitalise in the D to score what can only be described as a soft goal, equalising in the last 90 seconds. Cambridge gave all they could, with Thorpedo shooting up the left flank in the last minute. Unfortunately this was to no avail and as the final whistle blew, Bedford’s celebrations at a 2-2 draw said it all.

A pleasing performance from the CUWHC hunnies can only lead to one thing #dangerladle #camlyf.

MOM – Charlotte Burrows

DOD – Rebecca Wilson/Sally Bradley

 

27/09/14 Women's Blues 1-1 Blueharts 2s

CUHC Ladies Blues assembled in Hitchin, Herts not only on the back of storming opening game of the season beating St Ives 5-1, but also from a very successful and tiring pre-season camp in Leeds. Where on the Tue night Coach Rais was tucked up in bed by midnight!

Blueharts had also managed to win their opening game of the season with a re-sounding 6-4 win at North Norfolk. So both teams were vying to keep their 100% record

The game started and both teams tried to ascertain their dominance on the game. After an early scare for CUHC, it was CUHC that came out on top. With Hettie and Emily marshalling the CUHC defence, the Blues eventually gained control of the game and, as Coach Rais’s instructions, started to play the game in Blueharts’s half. The forward line of Bondy, Olivia and Becky were keeping the Blueharts defense on their toes with their constant movement off the ball. This allowed the creative midfield trio of Burrows, Therese and Sally to push forward and apply more pressure on the Blueharts defence. CUHC were finally rewarded with a sublime goal from in-form player Charlotte Burrows. CUHC went into the break 1-0 up. CUHC started the second half as they finished the first with more constant pressure on the home side. However, Blueharts were standing up to everything that was thrown at them. Blueharts managed to somehow, by luck or judgement, fire a ball across the Cambridge D. That should have been a warning for Cambridge, but it is one they did not heed! Sure enough with Cambridge having a weak spell in their game, Blueharts pushed forward, and were rewarded with a short corner which they duly converted. 1-1 and just over 10 mins to play. Cambridge pushed forward seeking a second goal. Bondy managed to put Becky clear on goal but alas she managed to pull her shot wide!!

The game finished 1-1 and the Blueharts coach admitted that they were lucky to hang on to a draw. Cambridge currently lie 2nd in the table on goal difference. However, a much sterner test awaits next week when they face table topping Bedford who are currently on 6 points.

MOM- Hettie Cust

DOD – Asif Rais

 

20/09/14 Women's Blues 5-1 St Ives 1s

Speculation was rife after our preseason begun with a social, which terminated after squad members were escorted out of spoons due to their choice of accessories, and an assault course which landed multiple players back in the physic room. However, our first week was filled with gruelling fitness sessions and a match against Oundle school, whose tackles were questionable to say the least. No matter, when game day arrived the Blues were ready. The team was nervous during the 1st half, finishing 1 – 1 after a break and last minute goal from St. Ives. After a stern half time talk, we got our act together smashing four goals past the keeper, with a fine straight strike from Murphy. Defence was strong, with St. Ives barely getting a look into our 25 and a particularly good performance from Hettie, earning her first MOM of the season. CUHC decided to celebrate in true adolescent fashion, with only a 10% success rate for making it to life later that night. With noticeable performances from Frostie and our very own soul sister, Charlotte Burrows.

MOM- Hettie Cust

DOD – Rozzie Marshall

 

2013/14
2013/14 Match Reports
18/01/2013 Cambridge University Women's Blues vs Broxbourne (2-1)

The women’s blues played Broxbourne in their first league game of 2014 at fortress Wilby. The side started strong and had many short corners in the first half, a string of them leading to a penalty flick, which Al scored. Some missed chances on both sides lead to a period of panic form the blues, and a pair of greens. A lapse in concentration and some lazy tackling across the pitch resulted in a Broxbourne goal. 1-1. The girls kept their heads on and had some great spells, with many players giving their all to the point of using their face as a means to stop the ball (I believe we had a total of 4 headers during the match) the most impressive being Al diving towards goal only for the ball to rebound and draw blood. The end of the second half was rather tense, with a save off the line from Paz and then in the 68th minute a stunning dive from Bondy and the second goal which gave us our first win of 2014 and those important three points. Mom and DoD both went to Paz.

 

11/01/2014 Cambridge University Women's Blues vsBedford (0-4)

For the Blues’ first match they travelled to face Bedford, the team at the top of the East prem league, due to not yet losing a game this season. A test for our maintenance of fitness over yuletide, the week of pre-season, and all the new hockey-orientated Christmas presents.

Using the passive-aggressive half court press, the team looked strong, making Bedford rethink and use many a transfer. Two goals admittedly came from our own mistakes, with Bedford exploiting the open space and tastefully deflecting.  Blues had a well-executed corner and were unlucky not to find the backboard.

In the second half, play flowed and pressure was really applied in their half. As a team we had greater presence in the game, and maintained more possession, yet lacked the completion of that final pass which would have opened up more opportunity. Bedford continued form and found two more goals, one from a polished corner. The other followed a great dive from Emma, but their composure on the ball produced a flick over and into the top corner.

A strong effort was made by all, and whilst this performance was not where we left it at the end of last term, there’s a good platform to progress from in the New Year.

MoM – Al

DoD – Hettie

 

30/11/2013 Cambridge University Women's Blues vs St Albans (2-2)

There was jollity in the air as the girls keenly awaited the biggest night of the Michaelmas CUHC calendar: Christmas Dinner.
Alas, there was a game to play first. And it was a biggun’.

With the end of term drawing near, and Paz having to do a speech the next day, we were keen for a win.
After a team talk by Az that revealed quite a lot of inter-position ignorance… the forwards were set to do a forfeit at Christmas Dinner, and we were ready for action.

The game was a hard fought battle between two teams who wanted it badly. We had a number of chances in the D that were lacking that final finish, and a drop in man-on-man marking led to a few breakaways by the opposition giving them a chance. Unfortunately, it was our own mistakes during outletting that led to St Alban’s scoring the first goal of the match. However, this was rapidly equalised by Zara and we went into half time 1-1 with all to play for.

The second half saw us get off to a cracking start. Some beautiful play down the lines gave us a few chances in the D, and we went 2-1 up courtesy of a fantastic ball into the D and subsequent deflection by Madds. However, St Albans started to ramp up the pressure, and the rest of the half consisted of a heck of a lot of defensive short corners. They equalised off one of these, and then it was a fight to maintain a draw as they pressured us hard. Adrenaline levels were running high, but the whistle went and we managed to hold it at 2-2.

Well done girls!

MoM – Ellen
DoD – Emma

 

23/11/2013 Cambridge University Women's Blues vs Cambridge City (0-3)

‘On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me; a loss for the blues nil-3.

On the second day of Christmas my true love sent to me; two Cambridge rivals and a loss for the blues nil-3.

On the third day of Christmas, my true love sent to me; three goalie take-outs, 
two Cambridge rivals and a loss for the blues nil – 3.

On the fourth day of Christmas, 
my true love sent to me: 
Four composed backs, 
three goalie wipeouts, two Cambridge rivals, and a loss for the blues nil-3.

On the fifth day of Christmas, 
my true love sent to me; HALF TIME SWEETS. Four composed backs, 
three goalie wipeouts, two Cambridge rivals, and a loss for the blues nil-3.

On the sixth day of Christmas, 
my true love sent to me; 
a stick to Rozzie’s wrist, HALF TIME SWEETS, 
 four composed backs, 
three goalie wipeouts, two Cambridge rivals, and a loss for the blues nil-3.

On the seventh day of Christmas, 
my true love sent to me; several strong transfers, a stick to Rozzie’s wrist, 
HALF TIIME SWEETS, 
 four composed backs, 
three goalie wipeouts, two Cambridge rivals, and a loss for the blues nil-3.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me; 
Eight base-line leads, 
; several strong transfers, a stick to Rozzie’s wrist, 
HALF TIME SWEETS, 
 four composed backs, 
three goalie wipe-outs, two Cambridge rivals, and a loss for the blues nil-3.

On the ninth day of Christmas, 
my true love sent to me, Nine ladies contesting, eight base-line leads, 
; several strong transfers, a stick to Rozzie’s wrist, 
HALF TIIME SWEETS, 
 four composed backs, 
three goalie wipeouts, two Cambridge rivals, and a loss for the blues nil-3.

On the tenth day of Christmas, 
my true love sent to me, ten dodgy tackles, Nine ladies contesting, eight base-line leads, 
; several strong transfers, a stick to Rozzie’s wrist, 
HALF TIIME SWEETS, 
 four composed backs, 
three goalie wipeouts, two Cambridge rivals, and a loss for the blues nil-3.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, 
my true love sent to me;
many missed chances, ten dodgy tackles, nine ladies contesting, eight base-line leads, several strong transfers, a stick to Rozzie’s wrist, HALF TIIME SWEETS, 
four composed backs, 
three goalie wipeouts, two Cambridge rivals and a loss for the blues nil-3.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me; an unlucky loss, many missed chances, ten dodgy tackles, nine ladies contesting, eight base-line leads, several strong transfers, a stick to Rozzie’s wrist, 
HALF TIIME SWEETS, 
four composed backs, 
three goalie wipeouts, two Cambridge rivals and a loss for the blues nil-3. ‘

DOD -Izzy

MOM – Sally

 

16/11/2013 Cambridge University Women's Blues vs Ipswich 2s (2-3)

This week saw the Women’s Blues play Ipswitch on their home ground.  The first half started strongly for the Blues and despite Ipswitch getting an early goal Cambridge managed to fight back to equal the scoreline at half time.  The second half was a bit more frantic and a string of reverse stick passes across the pitch ended in the third goal for Ipswitch, leaving the scoreline at 3-2 at the end of the match.  Our two goals were scored by Claire Bond in open play and by Emily Thorpe during a short-corner.  The Blues put up a great fight against Ipswitch and are certainly improving every week – it is just a little bit of luck that is missing!

DOD – Zara

MOM – Emily

 

09/11/2013 Cambridge University Women's Blues vs Harleston Magpie 2s (1-3)

A very depleted team pitched up to a grey and rainy wilby. The opposition was underwhelming but after our reshuffling we struggled to get the ball out our half. Izzy stepped up to the mark and took T’s position, playing very well. After a slick pass round the back and up the line, Annabelle got “the finest goal wilby has ever seen” in the top of the net. Equalising us at 1-1 going into half time.

The 2nd half was eventful with a yellow for each team and a lot of chat from harleston. A number of unforced errors and missed opportunities saw us 3-1 down with 8 minutes to go.  We fought hard but couldn’t convert, resulting in one of our most disappointing losses yet.

DOD – Rozzie

MOM – Izzy

 

02/11/2013 Cambridge University Women's Blues vs Canterbury (1-1)

Lacking our captain, the team was wary for the forthcoming match against Canterbury (only one place above us in the league). The unease was heightened with three missing players and only one sub. Regardless, we got to the pitch early and had a quick game of handball to calm the nerves. A good warm up was followed by a strong first half. A minor blip with a yellow card and a disallowed goal for the opposition meant we went into half time 0-0.

The pressure was building in the second half with no goals as if yet. Some of the opposition struggled to control their temper, in particular ‘pinkie’, who managed to put a ball in the net with her impressive 3D skills and horrific tackles. T was sent of with another yellow for the blues. Nevertheless, we held our ground and a goal from the birthday girl – Big Al – gave the Blues their first point of the season. Celebrations were all round as Canterbury walked off looking glum and As immediately tweeted our long awaited (near) victory. An indulgent match teas was concluded by birthday cake and a rather leisurely boat race between Al and DoD.

MOM T

DOD Rozzie (tooth antics a week late)

 

26/10/2013 Cambridge University Women's Blues vs West Herts (2-3)

After a rather eventful week, courtesy of Wednesday night’s initiations,
the Women’s Blues arrived at Wilby determined to get their first win…albeit
one tooth down.

The warm up featured a new and popular addition of handball, which unveiled
some hidden talents amongst our team (back-up plan if hockey fails?). Into
the game, the Blues initially struggled with Herts’ high press and went one
down after a goaline scramble and a debatable Herts/own goal. But the match
was in no way one-sided as the Blues had several spells of good attacking
play. Sadly though, the chances were squandered. Still in the first half,
we conceded again…off our own stick (for sure this time).

Team talk from Az straightened us out and the Blues went into the second
half fighting. Now accustomed to their press transfers across the back
worked well, feeding the inners who brought great link up play to the
forwards. GOAL! Annabel’s shot from top D was neatly deflected by Al.
Spirits lifted, the Blues pressed harder and got more chances. After a
shameful 3 time miss at the post by myself, I managed to steal the ball
back and slip it behind the keeper…hopefully enough for redemption?

2-2 we had this. Unfortunately not. In the last 5 minutes, Herts broke into
the D and put it in our bottom corner. Gutting end.

Final message from Az (in the words of 2Pac): ‘even though you’re fed up,
ya got to keep your head up’. Come one girls…it’ll come!

Mom – Al
DoD – Bondy (neglecting Safety Sec duties on Wednesday night)

 

19/10/2013 Cambridge University Women's Blues vs Chelmsford 2nds (1-2)

The Women’s blues travelled to Chelmsford on Saturday in search of their first win of the season. The warm up actually started pre-Wilby with stressful zipcar antics and what can only be described as “trucking” down the M11. When we got onto the pitch, or “pool” as it should more appropriately be called, we suddenly noticed the lack of ball pace as we turned to see a ball hit by the opposition into our 25 that on any other pitch would have smashed into the boards at the end of the pitch. Sadly, it stopped just outside the D- and in that time, 3 of the Chemlsford forwards had already pounced on the opportunity and hunted down their first goal.

This pass and run tekkers became a running theme for the rest of the game and so the Blues excellent fitness held them in good stead. However, there was one ball too many, and Chelmsford sneaked another just before half time. After a towel off, and a quick chat from As, the second half saw many good things from the Blues. Transferring actually occurred as well as some excellent attacking manoeuvres, and Chelmsford subsided to the pressure conceding a goal scored by fresher Izzy.

The hunt was now on, but sadly time ran out before we could build on our momentum. Teas were a particular highlight almost equalling the wilby feast, and Zara’s birthday was also celebrated. A day of mixed feelings as still no win. Bring on Wednesday – GDBO!

MOM/DOD T—on for a hatrick

 

16/10/2013 Cambridge University Women's Blues vs Bristol Uni 1sts(3-5)
After an interesting and slightly nervous bus journey the blues arrived at the rainy Coombe Dingle sports centre. Warm up hit and the sun had come out, everything was going great until those fatal words, “paz – where are the balls?”. A well-earned DOD before the games had begun.
After a warm up (with Bristol’s balls) we hadn’t quite go the long bus journey out of our systems and a slow start to the game put us 2 goals down in the first few minutes. By half time, we had started to make an effect on the game, and had one goal under the belt from lily to end the half 3-1. With wise words from T about Liverpool fc pulling it back from 1-3 to 4-3 we hit the second half with new strength and the standard of play had picked up by a huge amount. Goals from both Bondy and Annabel weren’t quite enough to get those three points on the score board, but the second half was much more evenly matched, and ended at 5-3 to Bristol.
The disappointment of the day however was not the loss, but the lack on match teas – a trusty trip to Morrison’s on the way home worked a treat.
MOM: Bondy, DOD: Paz
12/10/2013 Cambridge University Women's Blues vs Bromley and Beckenham (0-1)

After a chilly week of training, the blues all met with excitement and trepidation over this week’s match against Bromley and Beckenham.  A win was a must as we were still yet to get a point on the board. It was a very important day for one of  the girls. Big, big news in the changing rooms. Annabel has got a job – congrats.

Warm up was brief, and the game soon began. The first half started with what can only be described as “ping-pong” hockey, and easy mistakes crept into our game giving the opposition a fighting chance they didn’t deserve.

In the second half, after a slight lull in the first ten minutes, the intensity amplified. With help from the support of the Wanderer’s the Blues had a string of chances. None converted. Then the worst happened with a well worked goal by BB. Straight up to the other end of the pitch, the blues kept fighting. Big Al was taken out by the keepers stick, but luck was not with us. When the final whistle went, frustration and determination were the main feeling in the blues camp. Bring on Wednesday and hopefully a first win of the season…

Also HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROZZIE!

MOM

DOD – T (dubious)

 

05/10/2013 Cambridge University Women's Blues vs Broxbourne Ladies 1 (2-4)

Mindset before the match was key and the changing room build up with Shakira’s ‘Waka Waka’ saw the team focus on the task in hand – winning.

Broxbourne had just been promoted and it was time for the Blues to show that being consistently beaten by school girls would in no way hinder our progress.

Whilst the task looked in sight in the first half with Paz hitting it into the goal off a shorty, the second half took a sideways lunge and the oppos breakaways saw us lull in focus. Fighting to the end, Zara kept up her stats with another goal and Cheese took a yellow for the team.

To conclude, we take Churchill as our inspiration…

‘Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.’

Mom: Paz

Dod: ‘no knickers’ Duzz

 

28/09/2013 Cambridge University Women's Blues vs Bedford Ladies 1 (2-6)

A match history of 0-9 meant that, quite frankly, it would be difficult to do anything other than improve in this year’s encounter with Bedford. Bearing in mind Bedford’s strong position in the league, the Blues went onto the pitch knowing that solid play would have to be employed in order to stay in the game.

The first 25 minutes consisted of a tough contest in which a Bedford goal was matched by a cracker from Zara. Nevertheless, Bedford’s relentless pressure forced the Cambridge play to break down, allowing another three goals to slip past before half time.

Being 4-1 down to such a commendable team did little to inspire hope amongst the ladies as they took to the pitch for the second half. However, increased possession and patience allowed for a 1-1 draw, with a goal from Izzy (and Rozzie!). Thus the game concluded with a loss of 5-2 and an overall respectable performance.

MOM – Emma (some very impressive saves that were perhaps pivotal in sustaining an reasonable score-difference)

DOD – Olivia F (apparently staying in the red-light district of Amsterdam for an extra day and missing a match deserves DOD as well as DOT (Dick of Tour))

 

21/09/2013 Cambridge University Women's Blues vs Maidstone Ladies 1 (0-1)

An uncertain start to the day with the goalie kit locked Wilby. The drive to Maidstone went relatively smoothly except T’s speeding, hopefully avoiding 3 points. The match started strongly with Maidstone a pretty underwhelming force. The Blues had all the possession and plenty of shots in the D but couldn’t convert. A lazy 10 minutes from the defence saw us going into half time 1 nil down. We kept our cool and had a strong second half, but still no goals. The umpires were rather card happy, though stuck on green so no real damage was done with two for the team. Our new coach As seemed happy with our play, the endless planks and wall sits have definitely paid off. A disappointing score, but over all a relatively positive start to the season for the Blues.

MOM: Clare and T

DOD: Rozzie- antics during week

 

2012/13
2012/13 Match Reports
8/12/12 Cambridge University Blues vs Holcombe (0-1)

Monday saw the remaining few left in Cambridge devastated to find Wilberfortress already locked up bracing for the cold front ahead.
Luckily I saw a fox on the way to the pitch and Dani quickly secured us a squash court at Jesus for an impromptu core session – Good times all round.

Tuesday, this DOD discovered their new catch phrase after a trip to the cinema with the dynamic duo Chabs and Iz. This catch phrase will only get better with time and will now be used in all references to prepardness for games and training (Don’t tell me you’re not excited).

Wednesday called for a multi-layered clothing approach when venturing outdoors as a harsh cold front hit the microclimate of Wilberfortress 2.0. The result: BUCS’ match cancelled – Devastating (Luckily my fox sighting earlier in the week was still keeping my mood merry).

Thursday, Varsity Rugby.

Friday. Rumour has it those who dared to venture out the saw the dark change from spoons to dangerspoons. Risky outing but thankfully all survived.

Saturday, finally game day! It was a crisp clear morning, a light breeze russled the trees, an email from el capitan signified game on! This DOD almost didn’t make it after a squirrel sighting almost resulted in a stackage (it was eating a nut). But as the clock struck 12 (well just after), 12 mighty blues players lined up ready to battle the number 2 side in the league, Holcombe (I think…). The game got off to a strong start , with the blues determined to come away with points. Both sides had chances in the first half but neither could put them away. Bondy, Iz, Dani and Soph were troubling the defenence with some beautiful runs. Holcombe, however, had no intention of giving us the game, making well practiced runs up the right with several circle penetrations, but the Blues defence stood strong ensuring no ball made it into the net. Half time score: 0-0. The second half saw an ever improving blues press resulting in many turnovers within our attacking half and several chances on the Holcombe goal but to no avail. With only one on the bench the Blues legs were tiring, Holcombe on the attack, a miscommunication and an overlapping Holcombe player in the D resuted in a point blank
shot and devastatingly a goal (Although a memorable call of “Chabs… noo… behind you!!” from I can’t remember who). The Blues doing what we are known for best, fought on, narrowling missing a few chances to equalise. At the final whistle the score remained 1-0 to Holcome. An undeserving result for a deserving band of battlers.

MOM: Bondy
DOD: Big Al

With much to prove following christmas break and a need to put points on the board, the Blues will be stepping up that extra notch when preseason comes around (as long as not too much Christmas gourging takes place…) so keep up the fitness over the break. Remember, this year it’s our trophy. GDBO.

 

1/12/12 Cambridge University Blues vs Bedford (2-5)

What an uneventful day. After an uneventful drive to Bedford not via Milton Keynes and arriving with plenty of time for an uneventful warm up, the Blues were psyched to match it with the top of the league, unfortunately the undefeated Bedford team had other ideas. Whistle blown, half #1; Bedford came out strong, rattling the Blues defence – Emma casual save #1-#4. With Bedford playing an (unusual) diamond structure in midfield the Blues press was in disarray with T-dog trying to man-to-man mark two players – Goal to Bedford #1, Emma casual saves #4-#20. Settling down, the Blues forwards made some cracking runs up front, however Bedford stayed
strong at the back. In defence the Bedford structure was still causing trouble for our press, can’t remember the exact detail but Bedford goals #2-#4, Emma’s casual saves approx. #50. Un-phased the blues kept fighting, with some great chances up front we were finally rewarded with a reverse stick sweep goal by the sole DOD nominee. Half-time saw a 4-1 lead to Bedford, but with the Blues never-say-die attitude and wise words from Chris on the press we were ready for half #2. The new game plan paid off, some great attacking up the left through Carmen and Georgie, assisted by Mel’s love of right half to left half mid-field transfers, led to a short corner goal by Dani with a beautiful reverse stick flick. Some cracking defending by the back 4, often putting their body on the line and Emma’s casual saves #50 – #100-ish (sorry I stopped counting), kept the Bedford forwards at bay for the remainder of the game (bar 1 goal from an overloaded break). Final whistle blown the Blues went down 5-2 to Bedford, however, there are many positives to take from this game with some stylish periods of play and the undeniable tenacity of the team, not to mention Emma’s century of saves. The only negative would have to be the uneventfulness of the day with the lack of team stupidity landing me with DOD – seriously team, pick up your game!!

MOM Emma (statistically undeniable)
DOD Uneventfully Big Al

 

24/11/12 Cambridge University Blues vs West Herts (2-3)

The Blues travelled to West Herts on Saturday. The game started well and the Blues had a lot of possession. However, due to lapses in concentration at the back they went a goal down early on. The girls kept their heads and stayed in the game with a lot of good leads from the forwards. The increased pressure from the Blues saw the opposition start to panic and we were rewarded with 2 great goals from Susie Stott and Alex Maskell.

Sadly, this wasn’t how things ended and we panicked in the second half. We lost 3-2. MoM Alex-4 Suze-2

 

17/11/12 Cambridge University Blues vs Lincoln City (3-0)

The motto for the day was bounce back, and despite Suzie’s slight skort malfunction (turned up to the pitch with it inside-out), the Blues certainly started with that in mind. Setting a high tempo from the off, our energetic start seemed promising as we kept the ball within Lincoln’s half. Several chances developed from great team link up play, but still goals seemed to be elusive – even with a run of successive shots on target. But do not fear: this all changed when Mel went on an attacking run from the halfway line, demonstrating perfectly what we had practiced in training – faint the pass wide and then cut inside the defender. From there Mel picked out Georgie on the top of the D who leisurely smashed the ball into the right side netting. I have been told to note that this all started from a pass out the back by Paz but I’m dubious as to whether this is just a claim to fame. So we entered half time 1-0 up and the team talk was all positive – keep playing the way we are. This didn’t quite happen to begin with, due to a slight dip for the first 10 minutes, letting Lincoln into the game a bit more. However, there were no real threats to worry about as Chabs and Paz kept an eye on things at the back. Then, for some unknown reason – possibly Carmen’s ever-positive shouts or just a general want to win – the Blues picked it up again. From this we had several chances and secured some short corners. At last they came off! The second goal was an impressive deflection in front of the keeper by Izzy from Alex’s slap across from the left. Soon afterwards, we scored another. This time the ball was hit wide right for Sophie to glide it into the corner. The Blues  continued to dominate and we kept the ball mostly in the opposition’s 25 until we got one last short corner as the final whistle blew. Georgie finished the game in style with a straight strike into the bottom left-hand corner, getting her second of the game but more importantly putting her total tally one above Izzy’s – a contest I think we’ll never hear the end of. At teas we celebrated both the win and our beloved Captain’s birthday – the big 21st. Slee had made a great Malteasers chocolate cake which we devoured, although I think we’ll all have to eat celery for a week to balance out the calories. Great win and Happy Birthday Charlie!

MOM – Georgie DOD – Bondy

 

10/11/12 Cambridge University Blues vs Saffron Walden (2-1)

The day was bright when we walked onto the pitch this fateful morning, and a serious undertone accompanied the warm-up. Everyone knew this was a must-win game to bring us back into the East League after a few unsuccessful weeks and as soon as the whistle blew, everyone stepped up. We were clearly the dominating team and chance after chance arose in front of
their goal, but that final finish just wasn’t there. By the end of the first half, frustration began taking its toll which allowed Saffron Walden to take a few chances through their high players. Thankfully nothing came of these fleeting attacks, but none-the-less, the blues entered half-time disappointed to have no goals on the scoreboard. The frustration turned into action in the second-half, and within the first three minutes, Georgie managed to put us 1-0 up. Spirits were lifted and we hoped that this was the ice-breaker we needed to put a string of goals away. Unfortunately, we made it hard work for ourselves and some silly mistakes allowed Saffron to pressure the defence. Despite some fantastic defensive transfers between the back four to move the ball out of danger, a slight lapse in concentration allowed Saffron to put in an equaliser. This gave the blues a kick and a few minutes later we were back in their D with Jess A putting in a fantastic reverse stick off a rebound to put us once again into the lead. The final fifteen minutes that followed were rather frantic as Saffron tried desperately to come back. As a result, our composure fell off slightly and we focused our effort on defending the lead. Heads were lifted again when a short corner awarded to Saffron was overturned: they took an
age in their huddle before some girl then thought it was a prime time to tie her shoelaces. This pushed us to the end and a win it was to the blues.
We’ll take that. MoM – Jess A DoD – Em

 

3/11/12 Cambridge University Blues vs Cambridge City (0-3)

Another brisk morning saw the blues traverse Cambridge to play Cam City. Chabs, always backing herself and her team, had us all aim to meet early on the strong assumption we’d get lost and/or be late. Surprises all round when the whole squad turned up on time and with all the appropriate attire. Shocking. Excitement ensued when the strapping of Pazzy’s leg commenced with a mixture of pure enthusiasm, a little skill and much misinformation “how was I supposed to know it needed to be longer?” Despite our best efforts to waste time in the changing rooms we found we still had over half an hour to warm up. This was bordering on unreasonable, having adapted to our now signature 7 minutes. The tension was palpable. After a quick glance around and some cheeky counting, the true gravitas of the situation dawned on us; we had subs. Well the result seemed inevitable after a long, thorough warm up and the prospect of substitutes, or was it? No. They played better and beat us. Hard luck. The game was not a game of two halves; they were better than us in the first half and better in the second half. After a slightly promising first 10 minutes (“big 10”) by the Blues, Cam city pushed forward and played more positively and accurately culminating in a goal from a short corner just before half time. Following a rousing team talk we back on the pitch and ready to win. Unfortunately they scored, again and again. However, Carmen did seem to hear the team talk continuing to be positive and taking on 4 players in our defending D and winning. I think this was about all the winning we did today until brownies at teas. Thanks Dani they were great. Match teas were much enjoyed again, not quite risotto but the chilli was highly praised. Buoyed by this success Suse and Paz went up for seconds only to be given stir-fry which was ‘gravelly’. This Saturday best forgotten and the Blues look forward to continuing their good run in BUCS to smash oxford on Wednesday. GDBO.

MoM Carmen-3 Paz-2 Suse-1
DoD Izzy

 

27/10/12 Cambridge University Blues vs Upminster (4-2)

Truly Arctic conditions at Wilby fortress. Team on a high after strong performance vs Exeter on Wednesday. Raring to record our first victory in East Prem. Mel and Pazzy Bear shared an intimate session in the changing room (hamstring strapping MUST extend all the way up your bottom..apparently. Not sure who we were most jealous of really..) Good start to the game. Abundance of short corners. Slee-dog slots in casual first goal into bottom left hand corner. Second goal from Iz follows after magnificent run from the crippled Bear down the left wing. Momentary loss of concentration and Upminster score (by getting ball in goal..vague I know but I really don’t remember this!) Hail storm begins and players and spectators alike are annihilated by icy balls. Half-time team talk to the tune of “get your asses in gear- you should be winning 10-0”. Harsh but fair probs. All our hearts sink as Upminster sneak in a second goal. I
imagine “here we go again” may have been at the forefront of some of our minds..just a guess. NOT TO FEAR. THE TABLES HAVE TURNED. Cambridge convert their 10th (approx) shorty with a neat “upstairs” goal from Iz. Chris was so proud. Iz was overjoyed that she had made Chris so proud. The umpires then summed up their shocker of a performance by forgetting to end the match. So..at 38 minutes, Georgie (set up beautifully by Bond (Clare not James sadly) slotted in a fourth goal for the Blues. 4-2!!!!!!!!!! ( to
us!!!!!!!!!!!) PS I especially enjoyed the match tea risotto option this week.

MoM Izzy DoD Georgie (victimised at match teas- still crying)

 

24/10/12 Cambridge University Blues vs Exeter

It was an exciting day out for the 12 Blues Babes on their jaunt to Exeter. Leaving at 6am, the 6 hour journey could have been daunting, luckily we had Izzy, a closet history nerd, giving her debut lecture on the topic of the Cold War to keep us entertained. Charlie enjoyed eating her packed lunch on the bench at the services (brought back memories of fun days out back in the north), while Jess rued that she hadn’t flown herself there. Arriving at the bottom of the mountainous campus, with the bus unable to go any further, Izzy once again stepped up, this time to lead the trek to the summit where apparently there was a hockey pitch. Walking past the Exeter girls, already out on the pitch, panting from our exertions and with 30mins till the game was a purposeful tactic to psych them out.

The game started with Exeter demonstrating their attacking intent, smashing the ball into our bottom left hand corner from the pass back. A high, well drilled Exeter press made it difficult for the back 4. However, Cambridge stayed calm and gradually settled on the lively water based pitch. Carmen and Alex began to link up well down the left, with the forwards working hard to get on the end of the balls being smashed out of defence. Several Exeter penalty corners were weathered, with Emma making a particularly impressive string of saves on one to keep us in it. Cambridge began to impose themselves, with Therese finding space in the centre of midfield to facilitate our transfers. When  Susie picked up a loose ball on the left of the D, she made no mistake, smashing it into the bottom right corner to put Cambridge ahead and the confidence to play out the rest of the half as the dominant side.

Coach Chris warned us that they would come out at the start of the 2nd half, but unfortunately the Blues were unable the weather the storm. A mistake in outletting gave Exeter an overloaded counter attack, which they executed to equalise. This was followed up with a P-spot deflection from a penalty corner to put Exeter ahead. The Blues kept their heads and battled hard until the end, a cross from Mel on the right agonisingly flashed passed SLee’s reverse stick within the last 5mins.

The final whistle left us disappointed that a sloppy start to the 2nd half had cost us the result. Yet confidence was taken from giving the BUCS South Prem league leaders and title defenders a good scare in their own back yard and the high level of hockey played. Bring on the return fixture.

Mel Addy.

 

20/10/12 Cambridge University Blues vs Wapping (2-2)

MoM T
DoD Slee

This weekend the Blues journeyed to the less than picturesque Mile End and despite a mini tour of London’s east end arrived fired up and ready for a bottom of the table clash. On a pitch rivaling old Wilby for sand, the Blues began a frustrating first half. It was all a it slow for our liking; spoilt by our shiny new wilby2.0 the sand caught us out a few times. A few break away scares and a lovely goal line save from Paz brought us into half time still at 0-0 despite the Blues having most of the possession. A few wise words from coach Anna saw a refreshed side return for round 2.

New tactic – keep the ball. This worked well and some good individual work form Jess brought the first goal. Unfortunately a couple of Wapping short corners beat the defense and with 3minutes to go we were 2-1 down. The blues showed great spirit to bring the scoreline back to level (well done Georgie). First point of the season gang – the only way is up.

 

13/10/12 Cambridge University Blues vs Canterbury (0-1)

No report.

MoM Chabs and Paz
DoD Dani

 

6/10/12 Cambridge University Blues vs St Albans (1-4)

Twas a sunny day when we arrived at a rather dubious looking farm masquerading as a school. Despite our reservations about the barn, Anna happily declared that this was a vast improvement compared to the ‘concentration camp’ looking showers offered last year. With this new found positivity the team talk commenced whilst Georgie proceeded to follow in the footsteps of Abby and have a wet t-shirt competition…with herself.

The first half started very competitively with the blues continuing to improve. However, 10 minutes in disaster struck. G was hit in the knee and promptly informed by the umpire to either get up and keep on playing or get off the pitch. She wasn’t impressed. A frantic passage of play followed, with St Albans building pressure and inducing more than a little panic into our defending ” i tried to get the ball but you see I was running and well you know how it is….” Despite Emma making some heroic saves, using every inch of her body available including a cheeky head save, St Albans scored through a mildly audacious aerial. Shocking. 1-0. Some pretty boring hockey followed but just before half time a break away masterminded by D.Moyles lead to the blues equalising. Wicked.

Halftime, lots of chat including a skills demonstration enjoyed by players and spectators alike. This seemed to do the trick as the first 15 minutes cambridge had all the possession and almost scored again. But we didn’t. In the next 20 mins St Albans scored not once, not twice but thrice. Damn.

MOM Emma DOD Izzy

Hope you like it

 

29/09/12 Cambridge University Blues vs Maidstone (2-3)

With the hangovers at bay after the midweek Mahal tomfoolery, the Blues welcomed the freshly relegated Maidstone to the Fortress, ready to form an attack more potent than any first generation pokemon, and more effective than the nonexistent Wilby dugouts.

To take a classic phrase straight from the commentator’s stock book, it was certainly a game of two halves. The umpire had barely pursed his lips to sound the starting whistle, before one, then two men were down; Merrell aggravating the knee, then Stott hurting her ankle whilst doing a pirouette by herself, for herself, with not a single player within a 50yard personal zone! A truly special sight. Maidstone placed their authority on the game, with the Blues unable to create solid scoring opportunities, and the away side removing the possibility of a clean sheet with a strong short corner strike to take the lead.

A few words at half time harvested a Blues side looking well disciplined and structured, defending from the front line. This application of pressure showed that even the most organised side can look average, and allowed us to penetrate the 25 more consistently and looking as potent as a fully healthy and evolved Blastoise. This led to the first Cambridge goal of the season, deflected in by Dani Moyles, after the midfield dispossessed the travelling side at the top of the D. Game on. The defence remained structured, with strong transfers, and with Claire Parrish becoming closer to progressing to a qualification to overcome her altitude sickness, as she executed some brilliant crosses in to the D from left defence. The two teams continued battling in fierce competition. Maidstone then took the lead with a truly special goal; one of a kind; and one which will never be witnessed again. Primarily due to the fact the ball didn’t hit a stick in the D. And moreover, the ball last hit a stick when it was poorly topped by Maidstone player in the 25! Magical. Despite lying more dumbfound than the realisation that Slee has finally bought a new pair of astros, the Blues picked up their spirits and immediately replied with a goal from a well executed short corner, with Stott taking the final deflection to guide to ball to goal.

At the final whistle, the score was 3-2, as Maidstone grabbed the three points with a goal in the last two minutes squandering the first promise of points for the season. It was a disappointing result, after the Blues clearly proved themselves in the second half to be more than a match for the stronger sides of this league. The quest to collect our first points of the season to be continued…

N.B. On the scale of 1-10, the umpires performance was a solid 22. Very poor.

 

22/09/12 Cambridge University Blues vs
T-3, Mel-1, Emma c-1 and chabs

 

15/09/12 Cambridge University Blues vs Bedford (0-6)
For the first match of the season at Fortress Wilby we had only 11 players with debut matches for Emma, Therese and Sophie. It was a lovely warm day and we were all set for pimms in the sun, but then hockey called. After a week of pre-season we were carrying niggles and injuries, and for some of the team the cobwebs were yet to be brushed off.so to the match, in the first half we held our own and saw some great patterns of play, and at half time it was 1-0 to Bedford. After some wise words from Anna we were up and away again, but for the slightly lowered levels of fitness. Bedford scored two quick deflections and we were really starting to feel it. with Alex hobbling around in the attacking circle and Izzy solidly covering their high player despite not really being able to run we were able to stretch the pitch and play a bit more like we had hoped team spirit raised again; but then they scored… and again… and again… Despite the marginal goal difference there are many good points to be taken into the beginning of the season, and well, we can work on the rest!2-Pazza 2-Mel 1-Georgie 1-Charlie