Women’s Blues Match Reports 2018/19

22/09/18 Women's Blues 5-0 Sudbury 1s | MoM Izzy M

Dear Shears,

It was a grey and drizzly day at the Wilberfortress when the Women’s Blues stepped onto the mighty Pitch 1 to take on Sudbury 1s.

After a decent warm up, Hattie took the first win of the day: the toss. Despite her nerves, we had won first push back. At 11.30am on the dot, Annalise pushed the ball back to Colette. Play began.

After some swish passing with plenty of patience round the back, we began our attacking onslaught. Early doors, our goal hungry forwards made their mark. With a beautiful slide pass from me from the sideline (outside the 25 ofc), soph took a touch far post and hit the post. The ball dribbled along the line, their goalkeeper seemingly doing little more than watch it as Annalise zipped over to snake it with a cheeky tap in. 1-0.

Sudbury tried to gain to possession on the pitch, stealing a couple of balls, but struggling to get too close to Freddie, who was stood shouting.

Again it was the Women’s Blues who looked in charge. Charging towards the D, Soph received the ball along the baseline on the left hand side of the goal. From a SHANGLE, she played a lovely push pass towards the goal. Miraculously it went in. 2-0.

Gaining momentum, the Women’s Blues again headed towards poor Sudbury’s D. With little pressure on her, Amy received the ball at the top of the D, slapping it straight into the goal, ending the half 3-0.

After a rousing team talk from Hat, and no match sweeties, we took to the pitch for another dominant half. After struggling to outlet the ball from the back, Fred took on a bit of pressure, with a few stolen balls leaving her 1-1 with their lazy goal hanging forward with Bethan charging back to support. Happily, Freddie saved them all, and all short corners were safely taken care of.

The second half saw little attacking pressure for much of it, until 20 or so minutes in, we switched on. In quick succession we got 2 short corners. Fresher Izzy (Monty) made her mark, scoring 2 goals from the shuffle-right-Lucia-hits-to-right-post-for-a-deflection short corner. Eaaaasy 5-0 to start the season.

Hope you’ve had a great time sightseeing in Singapore.

Lots of love

Hatty xxxx

MoM – Izzy M

DoD – Hatty D

29/09/18 Women's Blues 5-1 Nomads | MoM Amy Edwards

Dear Shears,

It was a much sunnier day at Wilby yesterday when the WBlues played the Nomads than the last time I wrote you a match report. Although nervous (“we have everything to lose and the Nomads have everything to gain – I could hardly sleep last night!” Captain Chunderpants) Battie Heaven outdid herself once again on the toss, winning it. At 10.30am sharp a Wblues forward pushed the ball back to a Wblues middle player and the match began. The Nomads were quick off the blocks, applying pressure to the Wblues and winning several early 50/50 balls back (in part, thanks to some 80/20 umpiring).

After a period of playing kind of badly and allowing the Nomads a period of dominance, the Wblues began to come into stride and maintain some possession. Some minutes into the game, the Wblues won a short corner thanks to one of the forwards doing something.

Although aiming to do a slick shuffle-right-Lucia-hits-to-right-post-for-a-deflection short corner, some great defending from the Nomads meant Izzy didn’t get her 100000th goal of the season.

After some more hockey, the Wblues won another short corner. Seeing the space around the p spot, we tried out a different short corner that we have practiced doing. However, an inaccurate injection meant we did a slightly un-choreographed new short corner, that somehow led to a scrappy goal from Annalise knocking it in on right post from a slap from left slip. 1-0.

Gaining a bit of momentum, the Wblues continued to play more hockey, while the Nomads played some hockey as well. Eventually, Annalise had the ball in the D and did a nice spin thing to give herself space to hit the ball far corner, which Freddie thought was “really, really nice”. 2-0 at half time.

After half-time talks, the Wblues were a bit more prepared for the Nomads to come out with some fire, holding onto possession a bit more successfully than the start of the first half. Ignoring Darrel’s half time warning that we mustn’t let the Nomads get a goal and come back into the game, the Wblues did just that. An unfortunate foot in the D gave away a short corner to the Nomads, which Jess Czink binned near corner. 2-1.

Further hockey was played and then the Wblues had another short corner. Several people were shocked the Nomads don’t wear face masks for short corners, however Molly (she doesn’t even go here anymore) wasn’t, given Battie’s “shdrag flick”.

To Molly’s great surprise, however, Hattie drag flicked the ball and the ball went into the goal! 3-1. But when Beverley tried to do it again, she did an anti-drag flick, that slowly trickled along the floor of the D. Silly Battie. Happily, Sophie was there and cleaned up the rebound on the far post to make it 4-1.

As the match drew to a close, the sixth and final goal came from Annalise driving the baseline to prop it to Bat who binned it on the right hand side. 5-1.

Though the scoreline doesn’t necessarily show it, the Nomads played vvv well. Positive early doors signs for a 1, 2 finish in league 1N for the doublay promotion woo 🙂

Hope you had a v fun time at your cousin’s wedding! Hope you get to play some hocket sooooooooon (so I don’t have to write you another match report).

Lots of love,

Hatty x

Mom – Amy
Dod – Me (2 from 2 woo)

06/10/18 Women's Blues 2-1 Cam City 3s | MoM Izzy/Monty

The w blues arrived at a particularly wet and windswept Wilby for the local derby vs Cam City 3s and quickly made their way inside, only to arrive to find the scheduled changing room full of males. Each one made their way out slowly whilst making the effort to repeatedly explain to battie that ” the match started twenty minutes late…” a fair enough excuse but unfortunately they hadn’t left changing room much dryer than outside with a steamy atmosphere full of fresh Lynx.

The w blues headed out for the usual warm up, with some added active running to bring some smiles out of the cold, before heading over to watch the last and best ten mins of the men’s blues who managed to bring out some goals for the new audience.

Onto the pitch and the teams got off to a pretty even start, a few great balls up the line from Luce meant the forwards could break into the d but no outcome yet. Alicia continued to skill the midfield and Hatty sacrificed her leg for the team with a spicy cross pitch ball up to the forwards who were hassling their back line. Not too long into the first half fresher Mollie took a stick to the head and was taxied off to Addies (review below) for an afternoon of fun.

Coming up to half time city managed to sneak a few passes round Fred to go 1-0 up, but not for long. The w blues ramped up the pressure and with the help of a newly arrived Darrel took control of the match. Fresh Izzy/monty was gliding round players and the forwards managed to pick out the city feet to claim some short corners, easily put away with the trusted across the goal for deflection and a massive drag flick put top corner by Annalise giving the blues a 2-1 lead. A lone wolf high forward took a lucky ball in the late second half to give everyone a scare but a wayward shot didn’t even venture near Fred and the lead was kept safe. Another win to add to the bag for the blues, hopefully a good sign for the next Derby where they will have to face the away match.

MoM: Izzy/Monty

DoD: Mollie


First mention has to go to david who was making his second trip to Addenbrooke with a fresh, more times than he has had to go for himself he says, to sacrifice watching the match and some good hours to sit in the lovely waiting room with some very healthy people. We were pointed towards the reception where I was asked if we were a couple, making a nice relaxed few mins when my details were collected before we had a not too long wait to be seen. Lucky for me a nice looking doc quicklyish glued me back together, after debate of a stitch to which I said no, and we headed back to wilby in a stylish 7 man taxi feeling very hungry and damp. 4 stars, would come back.

13/10/18 Women's Blues 2 - 1 Norwich Dragons 1s | MoM Colette

Once a upon a time the Women’s Blues rode to the Dragons’ den. It was the perfect day for combat – the sun was glistening and wind whistling. The Women’s Blues with our swords in hand were ready to #slayyy the Dragons. Mollie took the first stab at the Dragons’ defence launching a fireball from inside the moat. The Dragons responded with a blow to our fort BUT the battle was not over. The Women’s Blues fought hard laying seige around the goal until Bella tapped a flying ball from Colette. The Dragons were slayed and Women’s Blues victorious.

MoM Colette

DoD Bella

20/10/18 Women's Blues 1 - 2 Dereham 1s | MoM Lucy

Wednesday 17th October

I woke up on Wednesday morning excited for another BUCS match with the Women’s Blues. Even though I wasn’t playing I decided to put my CUHC training top and blue fleece on, because I wanted to remind everyone that, even though I can’t play at the moment, I still love CUHC and who doesn’t love a good chance to wear stash. With my black leggings and blue trainers to complete the look, I felt a lot like a pre-match Cucia Lorry and so I knew it was going to be a good day.

I opened my curtains hoping that the sun with would be shining through the concrete of Churchill, but I was met with a grey, drizzle. A brief flashback to a couple of Saturdays ago when I nearly contracted hypothermia on the touchline dampened my spirits, but then I remembered we had the chance to get our first BUCS points of the season and a positive mental attitude was going to be important. So, I pulled my CUHC raincoat on and set off to the library.

It was getting close to push back time and I thought I probably better get going or I Wilby late, so I hopped on my bike, pedalled through town, before arriving at Wilby. I couldn’t quite decide where to park my bike, because there is so much choice now, but I opted for the ones closest to the pitch as I reckon they are normally the emptiest. As I parked my bike I saw the Wblues already on the pitch, so I thought I better hurry, but it was okay because Rob was also only just arriving. And everyone knows BUCs Wednesdays can’t happen without Rob and Bev. As I walked across the pitch, Carrel Dassidy was already strutting up and down the touchline, but he seemed in a relatively good mood and this proved to be true as he smiled as I arrived.

The game soon started, although 15 minutes behind schedule, as Bristol had been late; Bev blew the whistle and then hockey started being played. I saw that there was fresher on the bench so thought I better introduce myself, but she just laughed awkwardly me, so I thought I should retreat back to my corner of the dugout and focus on keeping an eye on the clock. We quickly decided that although Bristol were alright we should probably be beating them, and about halfway through the first half, Azzy Istin decided she wanted to score a goal and so did just that. Bristol then had a bit more of a look in, but we defended pretty-well and stopped them getting anything much.

Half time and we were one-nil up. I thought I should probably move from my spot in the dugout the let someone who had been running have a seat. Carol Dassidy chatted for a bit and we all decided we could probably mark a bit tighter, but we could definitely win the game. Pella Badt had forgotten her DoD sweets which was a shame, but thankfully Methan Boncur had some spare ones in her bag.

Mini-Elaine was having a great game at centre-back, despite her desperate pleas not to play centre-back. So more last ditch defending kept Bristol out some more and we eventually had another clear- cut chance when Azzy and Pella were through on the keeper. Azzy decided she had done enough scoring for the day and so instead decided to win a p-flick. That decision made Caz Daz angry, and me annoyed, because flick taking is my job. But Battie stepped up and ctrl-alt deleted it into the bottom right. Not much happened after that, Bristol had a couple of chances, but they were no match for our defending. Two-nil and our first BUCS points of the season, a pretty solid result. We decided that Bharlotte Currows should be MoM because she had a great game, and that Siv O’Hears should be DoD, something about a long-term partner at Jesus. Currows wanted O’Hears to delete a pint, and it was finally suggested that there should be MoM-DoD pint race, but this is yet to happen. I think Fat Libby’s drinking days are behind her, but I will keep you updated.

Thursday 18th October

Thursday was uneventful. I saw on the WhatsApp group that someone lost their JMAN water bottle at training, but classic Battie Heaven. I chuckled briefly as I read her desperate reply because despite being WBlue Captain, she does still have fresh moments.

Friday 19th October

I woke up on Friday morning to see that the WhatsApp group had already been going, something about an Ospreys event. I thought it looked alright and I love a dinner with the gals, so I quickly signed up. But I didn’t want to seem to keen so didn’t tell anyone on the WhatsApp group.

Battie was chatting something about short corners on the group and I briefly thought that it would be good banter to go and join in, but then I remembered I had an essay to write. Even though CUHC > degree, I thought on this occasion I should write the essay as I would get to see the girls tomorrow. And anyway, I needed to finish my essay before my big date in the evening.

I was excited for my date as I hadn’t seen him for a couple of weeks and I was looking forward for an update on how everything was going. So, I cycled along the river, past the big Tesco and along the Newmarket Road, and made sure I arrived in plenty of time. He was just finishing his last bit of work, so I had to sit and wait on the sofa, but I didn’t mind because he had put a CUHC promo video on the TV screen just for me. When he finished, he came out to get me and held the door open for me like a true gentleman always does. Lich Ruddington really is a lovely guy. We had a nice little chat and then he decided we were having too much banter, so he thought he should have a look at my shoulder. After doing a couple of exercises he said it was looking better than before, but there was still a long way to go. That made me happy, because having a broken shoulder isn’t fun and I want to be able to play hockey, but I also knew I would be able to have another date. You win some, you lose some… Lich gave me a bit of a massage and we chatted about CUHC and he told me all about how he was going to America and about how the university have order 2500m of light blue k-tape. I said I would like some of that, but then Lich told me that it was going to have red lions on it, so I told him I thought it was a stupid idea. And we both laughed at that because we know that the golden lion is much better than the red lion, even if Nike don’t.

So, I finished my Friday very happy, because I had had a wonderful date and I knew that Saturday was another hockey day.

Saturday 20th October

I woke on Saturday morning and knowing it was going to be a good day, I decided to put my favourite red t-shirt on. I went to brunch with some college pals and told them all about how if we won today, we would go top of the league. One of my friends asked if I thought we could do it and I assured him that we were more that capable of getting a result.

So, I set out for Wilby full of coffee and hash browns and certain that it was going to be a good afternoon. But my optimism didn’t last long.

I arrived in the clubhouse and checked the board to see which changing room we were in and saw that it said number 10. Now I have been part of CUHC for over two years and I have never heard of changing room 10, which made me very confused. But I caught sight of Siv O’Hears and decided to follow her. I eventually found changing room 10 and was greeted by Breddie Friscoe. Despite Breddie’s name, it is a well-known fact that she prefers biscuits over toast, but now was not the time to be thinking about biscuits, as there was a real issue with DoD sweets. Pella had once again forgotten to bring them, so I was tasked with going to get some, which was annoying. Eddy Amwards agreed to join me on the journey which made it a bit better, but she then proceeded to talk about the slow puncture in both her bike tyres and I began to wish I had just gone by myself. I made it to the co-op and clutching Pella’s pound coins I had to make the difficult decision of what sweets would be best, but I eventually decided on Belly Jabies and some MarStix.

Eddy and I made it back in time to Wilby for the end of Caz’s teamtalk. Eddy snuck past of the Cam City girls leaving the changing room, but I decided to be polite and wait for them to come past. But I stood there for a solid five minutes before they all came through, so I decided it was a bad decision, but not quite as bad a decision as wearing a coat on the cycle to the Co-Op because I was very warm and had had to talk both my coat and jumper off to reveal my favourite t-shirt. However, it did mean that Carol complimented me on my t-shirt when I finally made it into the changing room, and that made be happy. But then Wannalise told me I looked like a Cam City player, and that made me sad. So, despite being too warm, I thought I should put my jumper back on.

We headed out onto the pitch and the girls did their normal warm-up, passing some balls around and doing some shooting. Methan was still wearing her still tourist jumper from Ryder and Amie’s which we had given her chat about the week before. I was going to call her out for looking like a fresh, but then I remembered that she had bought it because a certain kit sec decided to cancel the sweatshirt order last season. So, I decided to shut up and instead go and sit quietly on the bench.

I don’t want to talk about the match too much, because it was a bit of a shambles, apart from a very nice O’Hears to Pella goal (which wasn’t quite as good as Pella’s goal from the weekend before, but still pretty nice). They had already scored a couple of goals, so it was 2-1 at half time and despite a stern team-talk from Carol, we were unable to score any more goals. It must be said that we did try, and we did win several corners which weren’t awarded. And Battie would have almost certainly binned a couple of flicks so in my mind it should have been at least 4-2. But the league table disagrees. Eddy Amwards didn’t have a fun time on the sideline and was positively grumpy. I told her that she shouldn’t have got injured, but that didn’t help and I subsequent realised that was a bit Rich coming from me. So, I shut up again.

After an awkward post-match debrief where the only words Carol could must were ‘I am lost for words’ we headed inside for some of Elaine’s cake. Everyone seemed to rush off, but all the oldies stuck behind, because we know what it means to love CUHC. We decided it would be fun to mix up everyone’s names and we were all very tickled by this. Datty Harling was particularly tickled by the realisation of Wivi Vay and we all decided that it was poor form from Lucy Lawrence having a silly name. But she had played well so we thought we should forgive her, and we even decided to give her MoM. There weren’t many DoD nominations, we thought about giving it to Bella, but then we realised we wouldn’t have any sweets on Wednesday for our big game against Exeter so thought we probably shouldn’t. I nominated myself because I had been on a secret date and because I backed myself to write a decent match report.

Hopefully, the certainty of DoD sweets on Wednesday can spur us on to a HUUGEE victory against Exeter.


MoM Lucy

DoD Clare

27/10/18 Women's Blues 3 - 3 Wisbech Ladies 1s | MoM Battie

The bomens wues set off on a miserable Saturday morning to the beaches of Wis. With our international coach fresh off the plane from Espana, we felt confident that we could avenge our recent performances.

We arrived at the retro clubhouse to meet birthday Battie who had rollerbladed to the club!!! After some chit chat and a rallying team talk we ventured into the downpour and incorporated some of Bella’s cindies dance moves into our warm up.

The pitch was minimalist with no dugouts but that didn’t stop us starting strongly with a beautiful (sadly disallowed) reverse banger into the top right by the birthday girl herself. But no worries because the subsequent corner was put away by Monty in front of goal.

The beach-goers were very confused by our half court press and continued to send the ball off the pitch, resulting in some attacking chances for the wues. They scored next (1-1) then Battie decided to avenge her disallowed banger with another reverse to make it 2-1 then it stayed like that for a while.

We had a team talk under a tree then headed back out.

The second half was slightly less bright than the first and we conceded two goals from short corners. Then we tried hard and Izzy tucked the ball into the corner of the goal to bring it level at 3-3. We pushed but couldn’t get the winner, so it ended in a draw.

After rotating through the 4 showers we got the industry standard match tea: paked botato and beans. This disappointed some who had seen glimpses of lasagne, but we were cheered up by seeing Carrol in her alter-ego as dinner lady.

The highlight of teas came in the choice of 4 dessert options: doughnuts and cookies from the beach of Wis; choco brownies from Shears and choco cake from Heaven above!! Mollie decided this would be better smeared on her face than in her mouth.

Amid discussions on the best doughnut filling, Datty piped up that cake makes you bowl better, thus revealing the *Top Secret* plans for Bev’s Boozy Birthday Bowling. But somehow I still ended up as dod, for increasing club unity by attending the lovely Squandies-Beds swap (a very nice evening, #noragrets).

We look forward to increasing team unity on Wednesday as we travel to Bath in a cosy 16-seater.

MOM: the bday gal herself, Battie Heaven

DOD: Lissy

3/11/18 Women's Blues 5 - 0 St Neots 1s | MoM Amy Edwards

Beautiful day at Wilby with a beautiful game of hockey resulting in a 5-0 win. 2 goals were deleted by fresher Mollie, 1 by not-so-fresher Shears, 1 by future forward Amy and another by silky Auzzy Istin. The day had many firsts – a new press by the WBlues, a dramatic pause called by Carol Dassidy towards the end of the game, an exciting addition of “pizza twists” to the Wilby menu and, most importantly, the arrival of new kit actually on the day of expected delivery. A full fashion show pre match provided inconclusive results as to whether tucking in the new nike tops to the saucy skirts was the way to go. Current theories lean towards height being a key parameter, however we are still awaiting important evidence to be gathered at the full club kit swap.

MoM: Amy Edwards

DoD: Bethan Moncur

17/11/18 Women's Blues 2 - 1 Ipswich 2s | MoM Lucy

‘Twas the eve of the annual pub golf, so the wblues thought they’d get some practice in beforehand vs a very sandy Ipswich (watch out for those bunker shots)

1st Hole: Bogey (Par 4)

Standing on the first tee, the wblues quickly realized that they must be ‘on their game’ today. The fairway was pretty unevenly mown at the sidelines, and the bunker seemed to have spread over the entire course, hindering speed of play. Ipswich tee’d off first so it took us a while to regain possession and progress down the fairway. 5 shots on a par 4. Not a bad start given the circumstances.

2nd Hole: Birdie (Par 5)

Short, straight par 5 begs you to send it as far as you can from the tee. A back pass by Monty to Bethan, a quick transfer to Hatty, who sent a screamer down the fairway to Annalise. 1 quick pass inside and we made it onto the green. Success.

3rd Hole: Double Bogey (Par 2 – Short Corner)

An injection from Bethan along the uneven and sandy green to Alicia, who stopped the ball for my attempted a drag chip into the hole. An unseen Ipswich flag pole managed to obstruct the course of the ball, and we were offset back off the green. Woops.

4th hole: HOLE IN ONE (Par 3)

The first par 3 – a good test of our mid-iron game. Bunkers at the face of the green require a drive from behind. Some good 7-iron shots by Lucy left Lucia charging down the right hand side of the fairway. Being careful to avoid the bunkers, entering the green round the back gave Lucia an easy putt back 90° to Amy, who perfectly placed the final putt into the hole. GOAL!!!! 1-0

5th Hole: Par (Par 1)

The water hole. A time to rehydrate and reflect on the first 4 holes. Nothing too tricky here.

6th Hole: Double bogey (Par 4)

Rated the hardest hole on the course. Best approach to this green is from the middle or the right hand side. A quick tee shot by Ipswich however saw our defenders overrun, and soon we were on the back foot. Ipswich managed to chip around the bunkers that we had placed around the green, and an accurate putt saw the scores even to 1-1.

7th Hole: Birdie (Par 3)

The landing area of the tee is tight and requires a very accurate tee shot or lay up the wide part of the fairway. A tee shot from Bethan gave Amy the opportunity for a flop shot over Ipswich to the far right of the fairway. Bella with the next shot, a perfectly placed chip onto the green over the bunker left an easy putt.

8th Hole: Birdie (Par 5)

Go for the eagle is the Pro’s advice here. Hit your tee shot at the tree in the middle of the fairway, and if you get past then you have 1 shot and you are on the green. An excellent fairway drive by Hatty left Monty with the 7-iron the other side of the tree, and one shot to Molly meant we were on the green. Only thing between the ball and the hole was a short corner.

9th Hole: Eagle (Par 3 – short corner)

Final hole of the round, and although a short hole, the Ipswich bunkers are relatively set in position. Playing the short 1-2 game is strongly advised. A tee injection from Izzy to Alicia, a small chip to Lucia put us on the green, and a putt back from Lucia to me gave a simple putt to the hole. Ipswich obstructed the balls course so a mulligan was called. Second time lucky and the short chipping game, being well practiced, was perfectly executed and somehow I managed to putt accurately and the ball found itself in the hole. 2-1!!!

The final 9 will be played back in Cambridge, and we hope to build on our success over the first 9.

Mom – Lucy

Dod  – Battie

01/12/2018 Women's Blues 4 - 0 Lowestoft Ladies 1s | MoM Annalise

Saturday for the Women’s Blues began with a start so early that Advent calendars were unable to be opened and porridge struggled to be digested. This is because we had to drive to Lowestoft – which happens to be the most easterly point on mainland Britain. In an odd coincidence, this is a fact I was actually recently informed of by Peter Akyol. Despite being pretty suspicious about some of his other trivia, I can confirm that Lowestoft is far away.

It turns out that the early start was, as forewarned by the Weekend Preview, too early for some. Fresher Lucy became the second of the team’s first-years to succumb to sleeping through her alarm (surprisingly this has not included Rollie Ming, despite her ability to sleep literally anywhere). The lack of freshers almost went unnoticed, as everyone was actually more distracted by the second early casualty of the morning – Hatty Darling’s Zipcar.

Happily for all, the Trinity Hall Porters were on hand to save the day by knocking on Sleepy Lawrence’s door until she arose from her post-Selwyn Snowball slumber and we managed to squeeze everyone into our remaining functioning cars. This unfortunate start meant that my little Toyota Yaris was quite full, and I was a bit worried about how it would manage going all the way to Lowestoft because its acceleration is poor at the best of times. It actually coped much better than anticipated, and Datty Harlington even commented that though not her usual aggressive speed, she was pleasantly surprised by the pace at which we moved.

Even so, the car journey was very long, and I unfortunately had not packed my best mixtape of ‘Careoke’ (good, I know) songs – feat. much Jimmy B and Shanya Twain – meaning that we had to experiment with various radio stations along the way. ‘The Beach’ and ‘Future’ provided some highlights, including a classic 2008 time tunnel and some suspect ‘bangers’ which Bethan Boncur particularly enjoyed.

Radio Norwich helped us out with a few carols, to which the dubious tone of the singalong was reminiscent of the pre-Christmas Dinner Carol service. I don’t think David Gibson really enjoyed sitting next to me at the carols because I really am quite bad at singing – something which was exaggerated by the fact I was completely thrown by his insistence on singing the descant every time.

The conversation then turned to Christmas Dinner itself, which provided some fruitful car chat. Mainly this involved my passengers laughing at me for offering “highly fun” but “potentially fresher style” behaviour. However, there were also some solid contributions from Birthday girl Emy Adwards and Left-back Hatty who required and rejected various methods of being taken home.

The general consensus was that Cindoirs exceeded all expectations. I have been to quite a few Christmas Dinner’s, but none have ever not been in Wilby. This was a bit sad because I have some excellent memories of Wilby Christmas Dinners past but did have the benefit of reducing my considerable admin load (Bella actually asked me the other day whether CUHC paid me for my admin time lol). Defender Darling seemed to have less success at recollecting previous dinners which I’m pretty sure is correlated with her poor success at being able to find her possessions and clothes after the event.

Anyway, we had never seen it held in Condors and were pleasantly surprised by both the ambience and the dining experience. They even provided a microphone for the speeches; I reckon Owain’s song is likely to go down with other seminal dinner happenings, including Woodford’s mini, Peregrine Dunn’s speech, and Tom Jackson Jackson’s first CUHC Christmas dinner. In fact, apart from Matthew Jervo and Ollie Duckerworth moving some name badges at the start, the event seemed to be all running quite in hand until Cindies decided to lock the whole of CUHC in John’s Bar.

By the time we reached Lowestoft, we had come to the conclusion that it was this point of the evening that really did it for lots of us, because when confined to this space, all CUHC really did was buy lots of drinks (this (un)fortunately also coincided with the point of the evening when I made the considered decision to stop ‘being sensible’). Come the world class session of Liquid Drum and Bass on the dfloor, much deleting had happened and I’m told lots of killing it was happening.

The match itself was quite slow, but we did some quite good things and some bad things – although the worst thing was probably Right-back Hattie’s unheavenly parking! We spent large proportions of the of the match in Lowestoft’s 25, but unfortunately all of their players were also there, making it quite tricky to score. Batrice Hevra decided to take two draggies from outside of the D which set us back a little bit, but soon enough, Monty put us ahead from her self-named short-corner.

The second half saw a pretty slick Wannalise deflection, which soared past everyone into the back of the net and received huge plaudits from Lowestoft’s sideline coach. After putting herself in strong contention ‘most overdramatic reaction to being hit on the foot’, Bella Badt slotted in our third. Annabeast banged in her second following some neat team play, cheered enthusiastically from the sidelines by Jim’s mum and Grandad.

Everyone else rushed home to go skiing, but by virtue of being a safe driver, I managed to sneakily trade everyone in my car for non-skiers and we, plus Cucia Lorry and Jim’s mum, got to eat all the teas – a rogue but enjoyable whitebait, roast potatoes and sausage roll combo – located in the even more rogue attraction of  Lowestoft’s ‘Africa Alive’. Mom went to Annalise, and whilst sleep-deprived Lucy actually won out for Dod, I took pity and offered to write the match report because I remembered that being a fresher at the end of term is really tiring. Next week sees another away-day and another opportunity for goals, points and post-match wines.

08/12/2018 Women's Blues 1 - 0 Sudbury 1s | MoM Monty

On Saturday the WBlues all succeeded in waking up to their alarms (looking at no-one in particular) for a bright and early meet at 11.40 at Wilby after a stressful week of CUHSki and hols. After a surprise appearance by Darrel himself at sunny Sudbury, the team stepped out in their lucky black kit. They succeeded in building suspense by not scoring so that Darrel would be able to be as chilled out as possible and to give him chance to make clear his strongly-worded opinions on having other wblues supporters, earning himself DoD. Finally, Bella came to the rescue and brought the scoreline to 1-0, where it stayed, despite many slick short corners and majority possession. (Very) long-awaited, ‘interesting’ pasta was served for teas with a good cuppa and the close competition for MoM was declared a three-way tie, but a late bribe from Monty or some questionable maths by Battie resulted in the former winning the title. The squad then headed home for the upcoming festive hols but wishing they could just skip xmas so that they could be back in cam asap for lots of yoyo-related fun in Jan.


MoM: Monty


DoD: Darrel

12/01/2019 Women's Blues 2 - 0 Nomads | MoM Monty

After a heavy week of pre-season training for both sides, it was that time of the month again: the optimum window for CUHC to gain points, Blues vs Nomads. The game started well with lots of cycleing of the ball in the lower region of the pitch. Soon we were in full flow and Izzy Austin lined the goal with the ball – it was if she had wings! Soon after, Bella Padt doubled our lead – her shot was no match for the keeper’s pads. We maintained possession well – this wasn’t just regular play, this was maxi play. Unfortunately, half time hit and we soon realised there were no dod sweets to satisfy those pms (post match sugar) cravings. We came into the second period of play and something wasn’t quite right – our transfer had clotted and our press had started to leak. The flow lightened up and the WBlues were starting to cramp – when would this match end? Fortunately we held the flood gates shut till the end and there were no stains left on our match record. Always looking to improve, the WBlues will tamper with their tactics and come back ready for more blood, sweat and tears next time.

MoM: Monty

Dod: Bethan

19/01/2019 Women's Blues 0 - 0 Cambridge City 3s | MoM ?

Darrel sadly did not miss anything special on Saturday 19th January, contrary to his spidey senses. We kept possession, passed the ball an awful lot but sadly did not manage to put it in the goal. Therefore, the derby ended 0-0. But with ginger cake in our bellies and Alumni weekend to look forward to, the wblues are positive about the (hopefully less frosty) next few weeks!

MoM ?

DoD: Alicia

26/01/2019 Women's Blues 7 - 0 Norwich Dragons 1s | MoM Lucia

7 Goals- (Ariana Grande feat. WBlues)

Driving the baseline and slick silky corners,
Keeping possession and lots of clean tackles
Giving it early and making them leads,
These are a few of the Blues’ favourite things

Been through some bad times and heard Darrell shouting,
Yes we’ve improved but sometimes it was savage,
But this massive win shows that we’re a sick team
Win the league and varsity that’s the dream…

Battle- she flicked it, Mollie- she binned it,
Izzy- she slapped it, Annalise- she hit it
Give Luce the ball, gee thanks she’ll score it
We got it, we pass it, 7 goals, we score it

We get it, we score it, we get it we score it,
We get it, we score it, we get it we score it,
You like our team? Gee thanks we’re on it
We get it, we pass it, one touch, we score it

After the match we ate Bella’s mum’s baking,
After we’d cooled down to stop our legs aching
Elaine brought us doughnuts and Lucy’s dog came
And Amy in danger spoons cheated on Owain

Now Darrel can’t tell us off for not scoring
And you can’t say that our matches are boring
7 goals in one match and a clean sheet,
O*ford, Bath, Dereham are who we will beat…

MOM- Lucia
DOD- Monty